Some of my relations were “mail order brides.” A working man in California chose a woman from a tiny, grainy black and white photograph in a book. She said goodbye to her family for the last time, got on a ship, and met her new husband. I think many women were not all that happy with their husbands. But, they made good wives anyway.
In parts of Ancient Greece, Ionia, there was a bride market. Men bid for the most beautiful women. The bride price was put in a collection and was used for the leftover women. Men who chose a leftover woman would get a wife and also a cash payment.
The point here is: A man could assume, with reasonable confidence, that a woman could serve as an adequate wife and mother. You could literally pick a girl out of a lineup and … within a reasonable doubt, have confidence that you would benefit from this arrangement. The structures of society, legal or religious, would help maintain the family, and the husband’s authority, and the childrens’ wellbeing.
It seems that you can still do this today, in places like the Philippines. A man literally gets off a plane and finds a woman, who doesn’t even speak his language very well. But, she makes a reasonably good wife and mother. The basic requirements of being a Good Wife and a Good Mother are not very demanding. Any woman can do it. It is basically: Do Something Useful (at a minimum, cooking and keeping house); Don’t Make Problems; Keep Your Damn Mouth Shut; Don’t Get Fat; Have Sex Regularly.
Today, there are still some women in the US who make Good Wives and Good Mothers. But, there is a considerable vetting process involved. I have suggested sticking with the Top 30%. 70% of the women today are for the discard bin. Nobody should marry them. Someone will, of course, and they will suffer for their errors. I’ll also admit certain Ugly Women, who would be in my discard bin, but who have tolerably good character anyway, and who would make appropriate mates for equally Ugly Men. Mostly, this means: obesity.
Probably, out of those 70% of discard-bin women, about 40% would probably be OK, IF they were put in a stringent environment where bad behavior was punished. The Bottom 30% are, let’s say, unfixable. Jim (of Jim’s Blog) has talked about this. But, until we have that stringent environment, whatever it may entail — probably, new laws and the support of a Church — these women cannot be trusted.
Cornerstone 