No Boyfriends

In Traditional Courtship, there are no boyfriends. That is a new invention of “dating.” It seems that there are a number of women with a “no sex before marriage” approach that nevertheless have boyfriends. This is not Traditional Courtship, it is “dating” arrested at the 13-year-old level. A woman has suitors; perhaps, preferred suitors; a fiance and a husband. In the time before a proposal, a couple may spend a lot of time together, but they are still not a “pair” yet. They are discussing that. In any case, the process is not drawn out. A man either makes a proposal or he leaves. There is no reason to spend more than about three months at it. In the past, people sometimes did have extended engagements, typically because the man was not ready to support a family yet, but it was expected that he would be soon. (Perhaps he is in law school.)

from Dalrock:

Having a “boyfriend” is not Courtship. Rather, it is when the Courtship process is put on hold, indefinitely. Women got married young because they didn’t waste any time with “boyfriends.”

Go to 4:55.

Courtship wasn’t for fun. It may be fun, but it wasn’t for fun. It was for finding a spouse. If a man was doing it for fun, simply to spend a pleasant afternoon with a pretty girl with no interest in marrying (her or anyone else), then he was wasting her time, and was to be shooed away.

Now, to state the obvious since it seems most people will do it the wrong way, Traditional Courtship is not the Feminist Life Script (school, job, get married around 30), without kissing or boyfriends. You didn’t need a boyfriend because you had a husband — typically around age 20.

Published by proprietor

Happily married, with children.

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