Advice to Virgin Men on Their Wedding Night

Since Lori Alexander did a nice item on “advice to virgins on their wedding night,” I thought I would add something.

In the past, women were expected to be virgins on their wedding night. Men were also expected to be virgins; but, if they weren’t, that was OK too, as long as they didn’t have such a history that they might be expected to cheat on their wife. In practical terms, women tend to lose their pair-bonding tendencies after only five partners, but for men, it is spread out over about thirty partners. Since not many men had so many partners, in practice men’s pair-bonding ability was not much impaired. It was OK. Men were also expected to go out in the world and make a living, and not seek a wife until they were able to support a family. Obviously, with men out on their own for years, some dalliance was to be expected. Women were expected to live at their father’s house until marriage.

Nevertheless, sometimes men are virgins on their wedding night. They might not have a woman “with experience” to show them how to do it. In any case, there’s always a first time.

In practice, what happens on the first night is not very relevant, because there will be another night after that and after that. Probably, the first time will be uncomfortable and … not exactly disappointing, but … minor. In time you will get better. This is more of a guide for the first year.

Even the most goody-two-shoes girls want you to fuck their brains out. Because, who is going to do it, if not you?

Don’t treat your wife like you would treat a mistress. You have to live together for a long time.

Do it again. It can take some time for a man to learn the control necessary to have sex for a long time. If it is over too quickly, then wait 20 minutes and do it again — even if you don’t want to. You’re young, so this won’t be difficult. The second time will last a lot longer.

Women can have multiple orgasms, and they are long. Unlike men, they are quickly ready to do it over and over and over. Also, women’s orgasms can go on and on, so don’t stop. Sometimes, it takes a while (weeks, maybe years) for a woman to learn how to do this, so work up to it and be patient. But, I think most women can learn to have 10+ orgasms in a night.

Most of the fun of sex consists of making your wife come over and over. This is very satisfying. The term “fucking her brains out” is not just a phrase: sometimes, girls lose the ability to speak for a while. It is rare, but sometimes women will pass out completely. There are some Tantric types who say that men are also capable of similar orgasmic response, with practice, but this is unusual.

Take charge. Men should be “active” and women tend to be “passive,” similar to dancing. (This “passivity” can mean more actual activity, also as in dancing, where the women do all the spins and jumps.) Especially for inexperienced women, their natural tendency is to lie quietly on their back and wait for you to have your way with her. “Taking Charge” means that you just do it, without discussing it first. But, in “taking charge,” your goal is still primarily her pleasure, so pay attention to what seems to be working.

Every girl wants to be that girl. Burt Reynolds, from the 1970s.

Try something new.

Missionary position is the best position. It just is.

Sometimes subtlety is best. Very energetic sex is common in porn because it looks good on video. But, sometimes a more effective approach is to be somewhat subtle. Some women respond to being tickled, not jackhammered; at least, not at first. Sometimes she wants to be played like a musical instrument, not banged like a drum. You might be surprised at what a response you can get from doing almost nothing at all. Also, doing it the “usual way” but with some little subtlety of timing or movement can make all the difference.

Sometimes you should just pound her into oblivion. It depends on what her reaction is.

Here are a few tips for women on their first night:

It might hurt. Take it easy the first time. Try again later.

Just lie on your back and let him have his way with you. You don’t really have to know what to do.

But, don’t just lie there like a sack of sand. Respond erotically. Make noise. He needs to be able to tell what your internal state is, i.e., if it is working. Be creative together. Be a sex goddess, and don’t be embarrassed about it.

Relax. Don’t overthink it. Just float downstream.

Tell him what you want. Because, sometimes you really want it.

Find your orgasm. It takes practice to find out what works for you. It is more of an internal thing, a “state of mind,” than a matter of doing this or that.

Don’t worry about his pleasure. Just roll your eyes back and enjoy getting banged to heaven. Let your feminine lust flow freely.

Don’t do weird stuff. That is for messed-up, burned-out people who can’t get off the natural way.

Published by proprietor

Happily married, with children.

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