Grey Divorce

“Grey Divorce,” among couples over Age 60 and typically after the children have left the house, has been rising.

I am seeing personally a new pattern of strongly family-oriented men leaving their wives, over Age 60, basically because “I’m not haaaappy.” Often, they have good reason to not be happy. Their feminist wives still think, even after 30+ years of marriage, that being a pest and constant aggravation is some kind of feminist accomplishment. They are still playing the “you have to do half the housework” game even after being stay-at-home wives for 30 years. They are still seeing what they can get from withholding sex. But, I think also that there have been a number of very good wives, whose husbands get a little restless after the child-raising duties are done.

Often, these couples have a lot of new free time together, and they find that they don’t have much in common. A man has been busy at work, perhaps managing a major organization. His wife, with the kids out of the house ten years ago, has been playing video games and chatting with her girlfriends. His wife, accustomed to her freedom during the day, might not know what to do with her husband back in the house after retirement.

Naturally, these divorces are very disruptive, financially and also for the adult children, and grandchildren.

Generally, I find these stories rather sad. Usually, I think these men would be better off sticking with their wives, especially if their wives have really done nothing wrong (as these men will usually admit freely). If a man is feeling restless, maybe he should ask his wife if she would accept a concubine of some sort. If it is discreet, does not shame her, and does not result in problems (bastard children, diseases, financial commitments), some sensible wives might find that is the best solution.

Otherwise, a man might make peace with the idea that his wife is not really the daylong companion she was when you were both in your mid-twenties. If a man does not have specifically the ambition to pursue other women (at Age 60+ maybe it is best to be a little realistic), then it is usually possible to find some kind of working arrangement. Go out and have fun, do your thing, and have her cook something for dinner and keep house.