“Submission” means something like an employee’s relationship with her employer. It means cooperating in a shared endeavor, a family instead of a corporation. Today, millions of women “submit” to their employers, but for some reason are irate at the idea of “submitting” to their husband. Part of the reason for this is that the woman is already, in effect, “married” (in submission to) her employer. She doesn’t need another husband. Her employer is already, in effect, her “leader.” If not an employer exactly, often it is her “career,” or the idea of a career, that is her “leader.”
It is perhaps easiest to understand the opposite of “submission.” Basically, it is rebellion, or at least, independence. Just try to be rebellious, or “independent,” with your employer. “Oh I didn’t feel like it today. You can’t tell me what to do!” That is fine, but there is then no reason for an employer/employee relationship — or, a marriage.
Perhaps, if not quite “submissive” toward her husband (maybe her husband just doesn’t give her much guidance,) then a woman can be “submissive” toward the idea of a wife and mother, instead of an employee and career. She can do what she thinks a good wife and mother should do, even if her husband does not exactly ask this of her. She can take an interest in cooking good food for the family, even if her husband never asked her to. But, she should still cook him something that he likes. He should feel like he is benefiting from this, not being told to eat something he doesn’t like much.
When there is a highly able woman, and perhaps a lackadaisical sort of husband, a woman can get his permission, approval and consent for things that she would like to do.
“Honey, let’s go to the beach for vacation this summer. How about the second week of July?”
“Works for me.”
“OK, great!”
The woman gets what she wants. The husband does little more than nod consent. But, nevertheless, the husband makes the decision.
But, can’t you have a “50:50 marriage?” A “marriage of equals?” A “partnership?” Nope. Because, eventually you are going to disagree about something. Then what? There has to be some decision-making process. A woman can be persuasive, but eventually, the man has to make the decision. The reason for this is simple: a woman wants leadership, and will never respect a man that lets her make the decisions. This can be confusing for men. Because, when two men get together, it is expected that they will act as something like a partnership of equals. A man doesn’t expect to get his way all the time, and make all the decisions, unless there is a clear status of leader/subordinate. There is compromise. But, what works for two men, and could work for a man and a woman in some non-marriage relationship, doesn’t work for marriage, because women hate it.
You can see this, for example, in the apparently universal desire of women for men to establish all the particulars of a date, preferably (it seems) without actually consulting the woman. For a man, this seems daffy. If a man gets together with another man, it goes something like this:
“Hey Jeff, do you want to do something today? How about going fishing?”
“Great to hear from you Steve. Actually, I just got back from a fishing trip, so I’m kinda fished-out for now. But it seems like a nice day to go sailing. I checked the weather and the wind should be good after 2pm.”
“Alright, let’s go sailing then. We haven’t done that since forever.”
With a woman, it’s:
“Hey Cathy, let’s get together and do something sometime. What sort of thing do you like to do?”
“You are so indecisive, you’re driving me nuts! Can’t you make a decision?”
With women, you have to Tell Her What To Do:
“I’m thinking about going to the beach on Saturday, around 1pm. Why don’t you join me.”
“Well, I don’t like the beach much, but OK!”
“How about if you make a lunch for us. Be ready for me to pick you up at 12:30.”
For example, it is common today for a man to have some troublesome wife who insists on having her way. A man makes a concession just to bring an end to the constant strife and contention. But, a woman then perceives this man as being weak and spineless. He is not weak and spineless, he just doesn’t think it is worth arguing about. But, that is a woman’s perception.
There’s a book about that: The Surrendered Wife.
“Surrendered” basically means “submissive.” You can say “surrendered” if you want to.
A common idea today is the “50:50 Marriage.” Basically what this means is: When we agree, then you can have it your way, but when we disagree, then we do things my way.
Har!
When a woman is not submissive, or a “wife,” she tends to be overbearing, or basically the role of a “mother.” A man doesn’t tell another man what to do, unless he needs to as part of the organization of the group, to achieve a group effort. He might make some suggestions, some helpful insight or criticism, but a man respects another man’s independence. He is not a child; and even if he is acting childishly, he is not your child. It is not something you have to trouble yourself about. At no time does a man act like another man’s mother, or father, treating that man like his child. When Julius Caesar led Rome’s armies into Gaul, did he act like their mother? Did he treat them like children?
But, when a woman is allowed to make decisions, she then tends to treat her husband like a child. This is very irritating to men, and also, women hate it, because she instantly perceives that her husband is “acting like a child” although actually he is just letting her have her way to stop the endless bickering and contention. A woman insists on managing the monthly bills, so a man lets her do it. She then assumes that he can’t do it (like a child), when of course he can do it, but he isn’t because she insists on doing it herself.
The final reason why women should not lead the family is that women have bad judgement. They lack analysis and foresight. Matriarchy Does Not Exist. Yes, there are some women that have better analysis and foresight than some men. But, mostly, women are clueless. They are still trying to figure out that 90% of the women can’t marry 10% of the men. Apparently, they will never figure it out. That is why men need to Tell Women What To Do.
Cornerstone 