Welcome to my blog. Its purpose is to explore various topics regarding sex, marriage and family — an area with many problems today, as has been amply explored by the “red pill community.” They have done an excellent job of analysis and description. But, little has been said about solutions, and this persistent lack has been troubling me, so I will take it up. I tried doing a little bit via YouTube, the preferred medium these days it seems, but I am not suited to it. So, I will join with Dalrock, Rollo Tomassi and others in print. Like Dalrock, I am happily married, for seventeen years, and have a son. (Yes, it really is “happily,” perhaps because my wife is Japanese, and her English even now is bad enough that she is isolated from Western media and the society of Western women.) Perhaps I would like to have my son, when he is older, to have some kind of woman available besides wasted harlots.
In general, I am a Traditionalist. This is different than today’s TradCons, which Dalrock (among many) have rightly eviscerated. But one thing you can say about Traditional solutions is that they have actually worked, in real life, for a long period of time, and produced good results. You could invent some kind of new solution, but Utopian dreams sometimes don’t work out. I am not a Christian, although I find that they are my natural allies, so I am Christian-friendly. Ezra Pound once did a broad review of spiritual traditions, including many in the East. He eventually decided to become a Christian (specifically, an Anglican), not because he was not aware of the many failings of the Anglican Church in his day, but because he realized that, if he wanted to gain the advantages that come from cooperation with like-minded people, he would have to join some kind of existing community.
I say often that “you have to tell women what to do.” They seem to be incapable of organizing their actions without external leadership. This leadership may come in the form of individual vision, or it may come in the form of social norms, in-group behavior, and the artificially-created “social norms” and “in-group behavior” manufactured by the Cultural Marxists in music, television and movies. Women have a choice of which leadership they choose. But, they seem to lack the masculine capability of analysis and description, awareness of longer-term cause and effect, and also based on this, invention of definite solutions, independent of existing norms. Without someone else to do these things, who they can follow, they are rudderless. Some women are quite intelligent, but this ability is usually channeled entirely toward the Rationalization Hamster, and also lies, manipulation, and deceit. (This is basically the Rationalization Hamster applied to others.) But along with this, women are open to suggestion. If some men start telling women what to do, and it seems to them an attractive proposition, some women will follow.
And so, although you can lament the present condition of women in the U.S. and the West today, unless you tell them what to do, they will not change. It is not enough to say “I don’t like this and I don’t like that.” Eliminating options and identifying problems are important steps toward figuring out What To Do, but do not create a solution in themselves. Along with this, men have to clarify what they want. Today, we lament the fact that most women today are unfit to be wives and mothers, and are frankly dangerous and destructive in those roles. And yet, we seem to like having a large supply of sluts on ready call, so we have been perhaps a little hesitant to say: don’t be sluts. Obviously, we are going to have to make some decisions here. Are you ready for a world in which women are sexually unavailable until after your wedding day?
Unfortunately, by focusing on analysis and description of present conditions, men are, in a way, telling women what to do. Men say that “all women are like that.” Women hear this, and, following what they are being told by men, as is their nature, behave in the manner that such men say they behave. While it is true that women certainly have the potential to be “like that,” and today that potential is reality, it is also true that, in the past, they were not like that. Just as there is “women’s nature,” there is also “men’s nature.” For example, men have the potential for domination and plunder, that we see in every gang or group of bandits, and which anthropologists have recorded in primitive human societies around the world. And yet, most men today are not like that. The difference is part of what we call: civilization.
Thus, I want to focus on concrete, specific solutions. For example, there is near-universal agreement that today’s laws regarding divorce, sexual assault, domestic violence and other interactions between men and women are grossly anti-male and dysfunctional today. But, you rarely hear anyone say what, then, the laws should be. If you were to change it, what would you do? In the past (before 1970), for example, divorce required either mutual consent and terms acceptable to both parties, or, for a unilateral divorce, abridgement of certain conditions, notably adultery or serious domestic violence, with evidence that would hold up in jury trial. In another example from history, divorce among the ancient Romans would result in the man keeping the children. This served as a double preventative: most women would avoid divorce if it meant being separated from her children; and also, a man looking for a younger, sexier wife would probably be handicapped by having custody of his children. This would naturally require someone to handle childcare; and what better (or cheaper) person than the children’s natural mother? At the same time, a younger, sexier women would probably not be very interested in caring for another woman’s offspring.
Besides not telling women what to do, men today are bizarrely, pathologically politically inactive. Men need to join together and get things done to change the laws, just as men have always done to produce any change. Look around you: who is going to do it, if not men? At the very least, men should support existing men’s rights organizations. It is true that they have been woefully ineffective. But, more money would probably help fix that. Any man who is unwilling to give $25 to an existing MRA organization deserves everything he gets. This is evidence of extreme learned helplessness. Think of it like doing political pushups. If you can’t do even one pushup, you are in bad shape my friend. Get over your learned helplessness. Give another $25 to the YouTube Redpill personality of your choice. Divorce law is State law, so eventually there will have to be an MRA organization for each state, which lobbies and informs State legislators: the Ohio Society for Men’s Rights. If all concerned men were giving $100 a year in total to the cause, there would be enough money around that other men would have the funding to establish such organizations. Unfortunately, most men cannot risk too much opprobrium, as it jeopardizes their livelihoods. Thus, we need specialists, whose livelihood is itself based on objecting to the status quo, and who can serve as professional lightning rods.
Men are the builders of civilization, not only in steel and concrete, but also in laws and principles. Women nurture the creations of the men of their choice. So: start building.
Sperm Donors
The most intelligent, talented and capable women should be having the most babies. If a woman has an IQ above 130, she should have at least five children, it seems to me — preferably with a man who also has an IQ above 130. At 120 let’s put the bogey at three children.
This was common in the past, maybe the 1960s, where the most intelligent and capable young men and women were channeled to elite colleges, where they would meet and eventually get married. But, this rarely happens anymore. Instead, capable women are tracked into these same colleges, where they are quickly absorbed by feminism and careerism, and often drift into their 30s without getting married.
The men at these colleges no longer find their wives there. They move on to their careers, and often find a woman with more humble characteristics, who was not put on the Feminist career track, and who is open to being a wife and stay-at-home mother. In other words, a lower IQ woman of less capability. This can be fine for both husband and wife, but the result is typically children of modest capabilities. The fact of the matter is, IQ 130+ women are rare — about 2% of all women — and since these women are typically wrapped up in careerist ambitions, and also often somewhat lacking in social skills, our man is not likely to find one unless he specifically looks for one.
The result is that these careerist women end up, in their mid-30s, looking for a sperm donor. And, they might naturally want a biological father who is also intelligent and capable.
This has a number of legal perils, but nevertheless, just as high IQ women should have 5+ children, these high IQ/high achieving men should also have five or more children, and since this is easy for men, how about twenty?
There are a number of resources to put these men and women together. Here is one — a “dating app” for sperm donors.
I Thought I’d Be Married By Age 22
We’re going to have to take a stand somewhere, so let’s take a stand with the Top 30% of women, who have a natural inclination toward marriage and family.
Even today, with all the Feminist propaganda, there is a significant fraction of women who say that, around Age 16, they had the idea that they would be Married by Age 22 — basically the Courtship model, where women get married between 16-25, with 19-20 the peak years.
Basically, around Age 16, or maybe a little later, probably coinciding with first menstruation (which, in the 19th century, was commonly Age 16 or even Age 17), they get the idea that it is Game On and now it is time to stick a dick in there and make babies. Since these women still have a little civilization left in them, they naturally conclude that they should get married, first, and then get on with it.
Sadly, a lot of these women were unsuccessful, for a lot of reasons. Even a woman who actually tries to get married by Age 22, can easily fail. Many women who really did start looking for a future husband, from the start, around Age 16, can spend the next 10-15 years attempting to get into a monogamous “relationship” that is supposedly the precursor to marriage, and instead end up getting passed around by a lot of guys who were not very serious. The way off this Highway to Hell is basically No Sex Before Marriage, which makes Dating pretty dull, if premarital sex (“fornication”) is your goal.
So let’s appreciate here those women who, they say, really did hope to Get Married by Age 22.
Wrong Solution
Here’s Evie Magazine:
It’s akin to a bad movie where people seem to be on a race to the bottom in an effort to see who can screw up the most with the opposite sex.
I’ve heard of endless unfortunate dating incidents where people will unmatch their Tinder dates within minutes following their first, last, and only sexual encounter. In the car on the way home, they’re right back on the app, cruising for more casual sex. They quite literally jump in the jeep and leave, braving the walk of shame, where they unmatch said dates while driving off. The insanity.
Many women find themselves getting ghosted right after sex. One woman shared her experience: “Of course, some men ghost after sex even if you withhold it for weeks. I once dated a guy I waited two months to sleep with. In that time, he took me for expensive dinners, texted constantly, and surprised me with flowers and gifts. The day after we got physical, I never heard from him again.”
Ghosting aside, another issue we’re witnessing is men resenting having to be chivalrous and shell out money for dates. One man wrote, “The lack of consistency [around who pays] has left me wondering if the standard script of men paying for first dates is harder to find than certain rare bottles of wine. I think that now, with the emergence of so many dating apps and more frequent first dates, guys are less willing to cough up the cash on dates.”
And women across the board are entirely fed up with trying to find that one single guy out there who isn’t trying to have sex with them on the first date…while also trying to nickel and dime them and make them pay for coffees and go for hikes in secluded areas trying to score a casual romp in the bushes.
This is all largely due to the commodification process currently in full swing, where people find themselves getting nexted and ghosted, and they’re left wondering where they went wrong. With every “shiny new model” just around the corner, people are eager to nonchalantly pass up an otherwise decent connection with a person who doesn’t appear to check off all the boxes concerning their personal standards.
But people won’t commodify you if you don’t commodify yourself. It’s really that simple. And if you choose to have higher standards for yourself in the sexual marketplace, it will give you a leg up in securing a chance at finding a fulfilling long-term relationship.
So what can you do to increase your desirability in today’s sexual marketplace? Let’s take a look……
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Most of the reasons for these outcomes come down to women’s behavior, namely:
- They only choose 10% or 5% of men, giving those men lots of options
- They consistently choose men than any man can see is a Player or Fuckboy, and then wonder why they keep acting like Players and Fuckboys.
- They consistently reward (with attachment) men who have sex with them quickly, and punish (by losing interest in) men who defer sex, preferring to build up some kind of connection beforehand — supposedly what women want, but we know that is not how they behave.
- They play the “foodie call” game constantly. Whenever you see a woman on YouTube talking about her “fifty first dates,” ask who paid for those fifty first dates, and how much the total cost was, for all participants.
- The monogamous “relationship” was a kind of degenerate form of Courtship and Marriage, and never made much sense, as Dalrock used to describe in detail. Women simply have not made good “relationship” partners, typically using it as a way of extracting the benefits of a “relationship” while also looking for a “better deal” elsewhere, or just whoring around. Basically “relationships” have not worked for men, especially in the last 20 years, reducing women to “situationship” status.
- Marriage has also been a disaster, largely due to the legal ramifications of divorce, but also due to all the bad wives who eventually got divorced, including sexless marriages, nagging, complaining, endless dissatisfaction, and other Feminist horseshit. Again women are reduced to “situationship” status.
The basic pattern here is the degeneration of “dating” in all its forms, which was always degenerate from the start. Basically women will have to drop “dating,” because even for the woman who really does aim for a husband and family, she can easily end up getting passed around for a decade, in the process not only consuming her peak marriage and childbearing years, but also making her damaged goods for marriage by the time she starts to worry about running out of time around Age 28.
The solution is Courtship, which has certain characteristics:
- No sex before marriage.
- Get Married Young, around Age 18-23, more broadly 16-25, when a woman is at Peak Marriage and Peak Childbearing years, and also, because asking a woman to be celibate for a decade and get married at Age 28 is both stupid and impossible.
- No “Relationships” before marriage. Get married, or don’t. But, don’t spend 3-5 years in some kind of sexless limbo. A woman can be Engaged, even for an extended period of time (perhaps until she finishes college), but otherwise, a woman can entertain other Suitors.
But as we look at this long list of problems, and our proposed solution, we can see that at no point was “desirability in the sexual marketplace” a problem. The fact of the matter is, most any 22yo woman, who isn’t fat and who doesn’t make an intentional effort to uglify herself (tattoos/noserings/purple hair/bad clothes) — two things that are easy to fix, or avoid, for any woman — is sexually desirable enough for most any man. Again women are trying to bag that Top 10% man, and they think the solution is to “out compete” other women. It won’t work.
But, this is why we Just Tell The Bitches What To Do. They will never figure it out.
Meanwhile, over at the Church
A return to a functional marriage process will probably involve the Christian Church, because there really isn’t any alternative to Christian Courtship as it existed during the time when Jane Austen was writing books. This is basically the same as all successful civilizations, including India and China.
Unfortunately, the Church isn’t helping much these days. Since I am not that involved in a Christian Church, I don’t see what’s going on. This item at Sigma Frame was such a concise and relevant takedown that I’m putting it here, as a way of planting the flag for the beginning of 2026.
Meanwhile, we have Lori Alexander over at The Transformed Wife, who is very rigorously and consistently showing how the Church should be doing things.
On Churchianity
The church in America has failed its youth in every way imaginable. Everything is the fault of men. They don’t encourage young family formation. They don’t speak out against the cost of housing. They don’t speak out about the lack of job opportunities for youth. The only message the church offers — whether Catholic, Protestant, Baptist, Presbyterian, or whatever — is, “Young women should go to college and find careers before they get married, and young men can go f_ck themselves with their bare fists. But magically, they should abstain from sex for a whole decade, and the man should forgive the woman if she is a ran through whore when she decides to settle for him and marry at the post-fertile age of 35. Oh, and if men use p0rn in the meantime, they are evil.”
How inspiring. Give me a break from this crass, fake religiosity. I’m done.
Women Need To Be Contained
At this time, men are basically abandoning women to their own self-destructive nonsense. “It’s a game you can’t win,” goes the line. Much of this arises from the terrible legal structure. The consequences of losing are way, way, way bigger than they should be. For example, let’s say you marry a woman and she turns out to be a piece of shit. Eventually, you get rid of her — either the trash takes itself out (most common), or you have to give it a push. This might not be that big a deal, if you keep your assets, and have first option on the children. If you don’t want the children, and she does, then she can have them. But, if a man wants to keep his children, he should have preference here.
For now, we are recommending that we stick to the women who really are deserving of marriage and family, and have some reasonable expectation of being able to perform in the role of Wife and Mother. And, we can’t be too picky here. Basically, the Top 30%, especially virgins under Age 22 (which are common these days). This figure includes Fuglies, which are not appropriate for men who are not Fugly themselves. But, we have a lot of Fugly men too, and many of these Fugly women are actually able to perform reasonably well as wives and mothers to equally Fugly men.
But, this is only a survival strategy, not a solution. The solution will have to be some form of “Containing” the woman. A woman, as has often been said, “takes the shape of her container.” She is, by nature, somewhat formless. So, you have to provide a container — a shape for her to fill, a role to perform. And, this “container” can’t just be imaginary suggestion. It will have to be “solid,” and “firm,” which basically means some kind of unpleasant consequences — punishments — for a woman that goes outside of her “container.”
This is an odd notion for many men today. We have been stewing in Feminist garbage for so long, that we still think that women should be treated like men. Men don’t need to be “contained.” That sounds a lot like slavery. Men are interested in Liberty — free expression of life force, usually in partnership with a Woman, and usually with children, thus forming a Family. Men are “contained” in the sense of Justice. You can’t harm others. But, besides that, do what you like.
But, women are different. If they are not “contained,” the result is chaos and destruction. Men don’t need “containers,” but women do. Women, seeking some kind of order to their inherent chaos, go looking around for anything that can serve as a “container.” Usually, this means the Corporation, the Government, the School, or whatever they pick up from the media. Bad things result from this.
In other words, men are going to have to Tell The Bitches What To Do. And give them a spanking if they refuse. Most men are not ready for that yet. At this time, they are giving women their Liberty — which is appropriate for Men. But, it won’t work, and pretty soon you are going to see the consequences of it not working.
Housework Is Not A Job
Women are so confused these days, that you have to explain the simplest things. A Stay-At-Home Wife is expected to take care of the house, including tasks such as doing the laundry and cleaning the toilet. All of them. 100%, not 50%. But, anyone living alone also has to do these things, so this should be familiar, right?
These are “responsibilities,” but they are not a “job.” By this I mean, that you are not expected to act busy for eight hours a day cleaning the toilet, as you would if you had a toilet-cleaning job. You can just do it, in five minutes, and then go do something else that you like to do. In other words, just like living alone.
I actually think that many young women are terrified that, if they get married, they would spend eight hours a day doing housecleaning. Obviously, women are stupid. That’s one reason why we keep them at home to do simple things. When you have small children, you can end up with a lot of things to do. But even so, except for cooking, it is hard to imagine that housekeeping can take more than an hour a day, unless you stretch it out (as many women like to do).
Cooking is fun, so cooking for several hours a day is also a kind of fun. The Stay At Home Wife is also responsible for washing the dishes. All of them. But, you can delegate some of this work to the children as they become old enough — especially the girls. Not your husband.
A Stay At Home Wife without children typically has so much free time, even after all the cooking and cleaning, that she is considered a Woman Of Leisure. This is the normal state during the Empty Nest period, after 50 when the children are out of the house. You can go have a career then if you want, since you have so much time free. But many women don’t. You can just take it easy.
Somebody Should Marry Phoebe
“Phoebe,” reddest of TikTok redheads, wants to marry an American. Or, at least she did in late 2024, at Age 22. Maybe Britain is getting a little too uncomfortable these days.
And, despite having 1.1m followers, and being a 10/10 girl (if you ask me), and not fat either, she isn’t married.
Apparently, the actual experience of being a 10/10 redhead involves a lot of insults.
Yes, her TikTok videos are not very “wifey” (“Because I want to eat Captain Crunch every day”), but she is 22 (or 23 now), not a 57yo matron, and plus this is for TikTok content. Of course her channel has a bunch of stupid nonsense. But, she has 1.1m followers — and how many do you have?
Not a bikini model, but a normal healthy body.
Meanwhile, SickWife has 300 men who offer to pay her medical bills while she dies in his arms.
Phoebe doesn’t seem slutty to me. And she has good genes. We will have to stick with the Top 30%. Somebody go marry Phoebe.
Of course she would have to give up TikTok. You can’t be married to a man, and also married to your 1.1m followers. You are going to have to choose.
Just Marry Her #2
From Helen Roy, we have this:
Dear Helen,
I’m 28, and I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years. He’s 38, successful, and I really love him.
He’s very into “red pill” content online. When we first started dating, I didn’t pay much attention to it. I thought it was just guy stuff, bodybuilding, “locker room talk,” edgy humor, whatever. He’s said more than once that women “lose value” when we turn 30 and “hit the wall.” He never says this about me specifically, and I guess because I’ve been younger than that since we’ve been together, I thought it didn’t apply. But 28 suddenly feels very close to 30, and more and more, hearing the man I love talk about women like a depreciating asset really hurts my feelings. I tried to bring this up and he brushed it off saying, “you’re different because we’re going to get married.” But that doesn’t make sense. If anything, I feel like single women are less likely to lose their looks because they don’t have to go through pregnancy.
This year, he’d promised to propose. Instead, he told me he’s “not ready” because he needs to see more proof that I’m capable of running a household. He says he doesn’t like the way I clean or the way I “manage” things, and that if I want to be a wife, I need to show him I can handle it.
I graduated from a baby Ivy and had a budding career when we met. He “retired” me two years ago, the logic being that once we were married, this is how our life would look anyway. It feels like he put me on a timer and then waited it out himself. I’m trying so hard to be good enough, but I’m exhausted and scared that the closer I get to 30, the less likely he is to fulfill his promise.
I love him. We have a real soul connection. I see these as red flags but ones that can be fixed. So my question is–how do I address them?
Sincerely,
Heartsick
Age 38 is normally a time when men can be left to make their own decisions, but the fact of the matter is, the kind of wisdom that the present situation demands often comes after 40. Even men in their 30s are, to some degree, relying on their elders for guidance. Or, men of the same age or younger that have relevant experience and viewpoints.
I have argued that we are in an era of Triage, where men should concentrate on the roughly 1/3d or 30% of women who can potentially make good wives and mothers. We can’t save them all, especially since most don’t want to be saved. If the legal situation changes, maybe we won’t have to rely so much on a woman’s individual character. If a woman goes bad, then good riddance, but it is not such a problem. You keep your money and your kids. But, for now, this is what we deal with.
This woman is, I would say, definitely in that Top 30% category, and probably Top 10%, and even Top 5% if she isn’t ugly. And, this man and woman have been together for a while. This man should Just Marry Her, and be quick about it. Get it done in under six months. Then get started on at least three children, and don’t dilly dally there either. You can take whatever precautions you feel are necessary from a legal standpoint. Prenups, and avoiding the marriage license. But, just get it done.
“Running a household” is an important part of being a Good Wife and Mother, but it isn’t aerospace engineering. A willingness to do it, and to learn how to do it well, is really all that can be expected. Learning how to cook well is something that is normally done during the first two or three years of marriage. Housekeeping is trivial. It just takes a willingness and enthusiasm to do it. If a woman can’t push the button on the washing machine without complaining about “oppression!,” that is obviously a problem. But, if she is enthusiastic about a clean and tidy, and on a higher level, beautiful house, as is normal for women, that is really all you need.
Sickwife
In the annals of bizarre things on TikTok, we now have Sickwife, a young woman with some terrible disease that “makes her body explode from the inside out,” (maybe it is Multiple Sclerosis), who is looking for a husband with good health insurance.
No, really. And, it appears that she is successful, with many men apparently volunteering for this role. There is some kind of lesson here for young women who want to get married. I think it is to say that you want to get married, rather than leaving things a vague haze of “relationship.” In other words, a sort of primordial Courtship. It helps that she is pretty, but not really that pretty. Mostly she looks Rich, which is because she came from a wealthy family (“I did Cotillion twice”), but apparently upon turning 18 they drove out to the Midwest and abandoned her by the side of the road, permanently, which is just one more weird thing to add to a weird story.
Fake Virgins
Today, being a virgin is so unfashionable, that it is about the only thing a young woman says that might actually be true. But, this will inevitably change as more men begin to act on what they already know is in their best interests.
Then, we will have the flood of Fake Virgins. How about this girl — Fake or Real?
Too bad she isn’t a Face Tattoo Virgin.
Cornerstone 