The Good Wife Level 5

The Good Wife Level 5 understands that, from her kitchen table, she works the raw material of civilization and culture. Every act, for her, takes on significance for the evolution of society, of the nation, and for humanity as a whole. This includes even drinking coffee — or perhaps she should not drink coffee? What if, following her example and leadership, eventually, nobody drank coffee? Or, could we develop this mundane thing, drinking coffee, into a nexus of cultural sophistication, as the Japanese once did for making tea? Shall we build a coffeehouse in the backyard? This is wifery on a planetary scale.

For the Good Wife Level 5, the significance of all her actions goes beyond her family to the broader community of like-minded people. If she, for example, researches the negative effects of vaccines, she does not do so only for herself, but for others as well. She spends time researching the topic, and then communicates the results of her research so that others can learn what she has learned with far less effort, or so that people can understand the great significance, and consequences, of something that most people do without thinking about it much. Or, she discusses these topics with a community of interested people, learning from their experience and expertise. She almost certainly has a blog, a podcast, a YouTube channel, or maybe a series of books — the subjects of which are, simply, the the things that come up within the context of her own family. These are of seemingly unlimited depth and importance, and can easily engage the most brilliant minds and most industrious characters to the limits of human potential.

Probably no mortal human could excel in all the aspects of housewifery that we list here, as there are not so many hours in the day, so the real-world Good Wife Level 5 probably has a few areas of specialty, and other areas where she is more of a Level 3, Level 2 or even Level 1 wife. Nevertheless, over a period of perhaps twenty years, quite a lot can be accomplished by the woman who continues to explore all the aspects and ramifications of her household duties.

Some examples of the Good Wife Level 5 include:

Julia Child: Got interested in French cooking; taught a generation of women how to move beyond meatloaf, hamburgers and macaroni and cheese. Married at age 24, but childless.

Phyllis Schlafly: Expounded her traditional-housewife ideals upon the national stage, and into public policy. Wrote 26 books. Married at age 25. Six children.

Helen Andelin: Married in college. Found womanhood fascinating, and told millions of women how to do it right. Mother of eight children.

Rachel DeMille: Co-created, with her husband, an ambitious model of homeschooling followed by tens of thousands of families. Established the Colesville Academy and Young Statesman’s Society. Mother of eight children.

While these ladies are in the Olympic Pantheon of Level 5 housewifery, there are a number of women who show a lot of promise today. One of them is Rebecca from Blonde in the Belly of the Beast, who is an 8/10 for looks, a 10/10 for brains, and also has the good sense to get married and get pregnant before age 30.

Then there is Christy0Misty, who, when she first appeared a decade ago, was like a talking horse: so many men had never even seen a woman like this. Now she is a mother of five. She had a great run as an “anti-feminist,” but hasn’t quite hit her stride yet with her motherhood channel.

While the Good Wife Level 2 and 3 participates in community organizations, and the Good Wife Level 4 perhaps withdraws from such mainstream institutions to go her own way, the Good Wife Level 5 sees certain needs and opportunities, sees the advantages that can come from group cooperation, and creates new institutions. If she sees a need for her daughter to find a good man to marry and no obvious means or method to meet such men, the Good Wife Level 5 might establish a new club or organization where marriage-minded singles can get to know each other. This could be a ballroom dance series, or a church group. Her homeschool efforts may expand to other children, and she opens an academy.

While the Level 4 woman works out and looks good, the Level 5 woman works out, looks good, and then uses this as the basis to change the lives of tens of thousands of other people. Maria Kang, mother of three, took a picture of herself with her children that was somehow so provocative that it both got her banned from Facebook, and on the cover of Shape magazine. Her free online community now has 176,000 members in 361 “in real life” meetup groups in 24 countries. Five years later, she looks like she is still making her husband very happy.

Nobody can expect to get so much mileage out of a single post on Facebook, but the Level 5 woman is content with her hundred followers on Twitter, or the five women in her formal or informal in-real-life community group.

Since we are talking about the Good Wife Level 5 here, of course her sex life is the stuff of legend. She is not horny all the time, does not have an “insatiable sexual appetite,” and is not interested in sex with men (or women) other than her husband. Kinky and deviant things she regards as a sign of dysfunction, for people who, for some reason, can’t enjoy things the normal way. She is normally quite modest, and careful not to attract the attention of other men with suggestive dress or coquettish behavior. Other men notice anyway, and regard her with a kind of respectful admiration. Sex is not always such a big affair, because that would become silly. But, from time to time, she and her husband enjoy a long session of lovemaking, where she will have a dozen or more orgasms over the course of an hour or longer — she can never keep count. And since (as mentioned earlier) she has a bangin’ hot body (for her age), this is quite a lot of fun for her husband, who hardly has any interest in other women, who he knows could hardly be any better and very likely much worse. With the help of “wife goggles,” her husband considers his wife very sexy well into her forties and even fifties. Her husband too, knowing that sex is a shared endeavor and that he has to keep up his end of the deal, keeps himself in shape and polishes his lovemaking skills. If you asked the Good Wife Level 5 what she attributes her bedroom success to, she would insist it is her husband’s extraordinary ability and inherent natural sexiness, since he does the work and she mostly just rolls her eyes back and goes along for the ride. If you asked the husband, he would certainly give credit to his wife, since he is not doing anything else than any other man might do, but he is getting much better results. The Good Wife Level 5 read on the internet somewhere that 75% of women report that they rarely or never achieve orgasm during vaginal intercourse, but she regards this as ridiculous and inconceivable. She might get interested in sex as a realm of exploration and study, just as she is interested in all the other aspects of her life. She has her favorite parts of the Kama Sutra. She might get involved in Tantric sex practices, and not in a dilettantish way either. This would require the participation of her husband, who would also join her on this journey, as any man would who is not a damn fool.

In most ways, the Level 5 Wife is much like the Level 4. But her personality, and her urge to express her experience, cannot be contained only within her living room, and bursts forth into the community and the world.

Published by proprietor

Happily married, with children.

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