I am not really qualified to talk authoritatively about trends in Christian circles, since I know very little about them, but from a distance I get clues about dysfunctional patterns common today, among those that are attempting to apply a Courtship Model. Among them is the notion of “not settling,” or waiting for “God’s best.”
Women, in general, prefer the top 20% of men in terms of attractiveness, wealth, status etc. Nothing wrong with that. Let me tell you a secret — men also like the top 20% of women. But men are willing to accept women who are not in this top bracket. I would even say that men seek a certain amount of hypogamy, which is to say, a woman that is going to follow his leadership, and not cause a lot of trouble.
In monogamy, the top 20% of men are generally paired with the top 20% of women, and so on down the line, and everyone gets what they deserve more-or-less. However, in “hookup culture,” “dating” or “polyamory,” the top 20% of men can service 80% of women, even if perhaps on a rotating basis (one of a series of “serial monogamy” relationships). Women can want the top 20%, and actually get them, but only for a little while. Here women have to “settle” in the form of: not getting any commitment/investment from these men.
This produces the pattern of “not settling” among women today. They think they can get these top 20% of men, because they can indeed get sex from them, but the only reason they can get sex from them is because they can’t get commitment (marriage) from them. Unfortunately, this pattern has been embraced among Christian women who are avoiding sex before marriage. Not only that, they declare that it is “God’s will” that they not settle! They say that they deserve “God’s Best.” Let’s say that means: the top 5% of men. Did they ever think that, maaaaaaybe, 100% of the women can’t have 5% of the men?
It appears that, over a period of at least two decades, they did not ever think of that.
Normally, in Courtship as it existed before 1920, women married young, and they settled. At least they were smart enough to take what they could get when they could get the most — when they were at their peak of fertility and attractiveness.
For most women, the “season of singleness” lasted from about 15 to about 21, which was plenty long enough when you have itchy panties like any healthy girl of 17.
One such woman is Allyson Rowe, who really does deserve God’s Best (a top 5% man) considering that she is both (I hope) a debt-free virgin without tattoos, and also, former Miss Washington. If Allyson Rowe is still waiting around, and waiting, and waiting, you aren’t doing it right honey. Nor should you necessarily take her advice. A 10/10 girl can have standards that won’t work for average women. (Wikipedia lists her age as 25 when she competed in 2014.)
Dalrock had several excellent posts on this topic.
7/3/2017: A very long season part 1
7/10/2017: A very long season part 2
6/1/2019: She wasn’t God’s best
5/1/2019: The season of singleness
But with this, I want to point out how, during the last fifteen years or so, we have had some extraordinary feats of analysis and insight from the Manosphere, while it seems like women still can’t figure out that you can’t marry 5% of the men to 100% of the women. Or, to put it another way: Matriarchy does not exist.
But also, since it is time now to make fun of men whose actions are often equally stupid: please go and snatch up these jewels, rather than marrying some worn-out hoebag who is waving her boobs in your face.
Cornerstone 