Plant the Flag with the Family

I was at a party talking with a better sort of girl. Yes, they do exist.

In 2021, she graduated from a Christian college in Manhattan. She was planning to return to her hometown in Georgia. After a few inquiries, I gathered that the main motivation was to meet up with her boyfriend — presumably, her high school sweetheart.

So, she had managed to spend four years unsupervised in Sodom on the Hudson — admittedly, at a Christian college — and still had connections with her high school boyfriend. Probably, she did not stack up too much of a body count along the way.

Naturally, I took this as a good opportunity to give some unsolicited advice.

I did this in part because young people today tend to get no guidance from anybody, including their parents. Certainly the common experience from people my age is that they had virtually no guidance at all. Among younger people, of the better sorts of families, I think it was more common to push women into career-oriented paths, even disparaging relationships as an obstacle to career success.

But, having sallied forth into advice-giving, there then rose the question of: what can you say in a minute or two that might be helpful?

I told this woman that, among women her age, perhaps 50% of them will never marry. The Pew Research Center estimates the figure at more like 25%, which is still way above the 8% common for White women up until now. But, for some reason, I think the real number (which we will not know until twenty years from now) might be much higher than that.

Marriage is not something that “just happens” these days. You have to do it deliberately.

Also, I said: She should plant the flag with marriage and family. This is the hill you want to die on.

Plan on homeschooling.

Since she was already leaving New York to return to her (presumably) high school sweetheart, she had already discarded career ambitions for “relationships.” She had already made a sort of do-or-die commitment to marry her high school sweetheart, although perhaps she did not herself understand this.

So, having come this far, she should marry this guy, and make it quick. They have already known each other for over four years, so get it done in six months. Then, have a bunch of babies before Age 27.

Among college educated women, about 35% of first marriages end in divorce, and 90% of these divorces are filed by women. In other words, women themselves blow up their families. If a woman doesn’t blow up her own family, there isn’t much risk. So, don’t do that.

If you were to ask all these college-educated women, the 90%, that blew up their own families, I think every one of them would claim that their ex-husbands were “mentally and physically abusive.” This is because they are a pack of damn liars. Women know that other women lie, but the younger ones may not know that these too are lies.

Today, we men have to sift out the women who are much too high risk/low reward for marriage and family. Men are better off alone than marrying these women. They are unfit to be wives and mothers. Please don’t get children involved. Let’s just say that 50% of women fall into these categories.

But, there are also the Other 50% — and also, the Top 10%, which, let’s say, includes this fine young woman. She was, on top of her other virtues, also quite beautiful. We can be happy that she at least seems to have found a husband. But also, she apparently spent four years in Manhattan, and no other man snapped her up, which probably wouldn’t have been that hard if you tried.

So, just as we Men should resolve to leave aside those women who can serve no useful purpose as a wife and mother, and only strew destruction and chaos in the lives of everyone she comes in contact with, we should also endeavor to make sure that those better sort of women, with whom lie our best hopes, are not abandoned and, most likely, left to accumulate damage and hardship as the years pass by. Those women who probably could be good, and even great, wives and mothers should be given a chance to realize their natural destiny.