Lori Alexander, the “Transformed Wife,” today reaches a rare pinnacle of feminine virtue. This has not earned her many friends. I was expecting to find some fault or disagreement, over time, with her somewhat churchy, Bible-inspired approach, but that has not happened. Rather, I find that I am a quiet ally with her, against most other Christian women, who want to be Christians and Feminists too.
As a young woman, she was all the things that more serious men today have decided that they want, but can’t find. She got married at 21 or 22, and had children a couple years later. Before marriage, it is perhaps needless to say that she herself was a Debt-Free (or, mostly so) Virgin Without Tattoos, and also, from a healthy intact family. Also: slim, long hair of a natural color, not too much makeup, no weird piercings, and pretty, feminine clothes that aren’t slutty. Although no great beauty, with her natural youthful charm, and cheerful attitude, she was pretty enough for any reasonable man not specifically on the lookout for a Trophy Wife. In the first years of her marriage, she says that she had a lot of sex.
Her husband Ken was a similar sort of character, a 7/10 for looks and a 10/10 for virtue.
Nevertheless, she struggled for over twenty years of marriage, which deteriorated into a grim march of “we’re doing it for the children.” She read a number of books on marriage, and consulted with her pastor and friends, but without much results. She says that she was put on the right path by the book Created to Be His Helpmeet, by Debi Pearl. The basic problem seems to have been a sort of latent proto-feminism, which resulted in a constant state of rebelliousness, or, lack of submission.
The first thing you need to do in order to have a good marriage is to let it go. You must no longer try to control or criticize your husband in any way.
There is a lot more in her book The Power of a Transformed Wife, which also aligns with other worthwhile efforts like The Surrendered Wife. So, I would read it, if you are a married woman, or you want to be. Obviously, men should read it too, because if you are going to be the leader, you want to be well informed. Too many men are taught to “surrender” to their wives (simping, basically), and put her on a pedestal/leadership role. Obviously, this is going to make things difficult even if you do have that rare woman who aspires to do things the right way.
After a few changes, things worked out for Lori Alexander and her marriage with Ken. Now she teaches other women what she discovered.
For me, I am a little alarmed that even a woman in the Top 1% of feminine virtue, would have so many problems. For men, it means that even if we start with the best raw materials, we still have to form them up into something workable. The feminist atmosphere in the US is really toxic. I have a Japanese wife, and although she was not extraordinarily virtuous as a young woman, nevertheless she and all her friends (except one) have made good wives and mothers. Probably, in the past, American women were about the same. Bad wives were outliers. Today, even the very best American women might need some fixing; and, men will have to do this, or at the very least, make it easy for her to do.