Complaining Is Not Enough.

Welcome to my blog. Its purpose is to explore various topics regarding sex, marriage and family — an area with many problems today, as has been amply explored by the “red pill community.” They have done an excellent job of analysis and description. But, little has been said about solutions, and this persistent lack has been troubling me, so I will take it up. I tried doing a little bit via YouTube, the preferred medium these days it seems, but I am not suited to it. So, I will join with Dalrock, Rollo Tomassi and others in print. Like Dalrock, I am happily married, for seventeen years, and have a son. (Yes, it really is “happily,” perhaps because my wife is Japanese, and her English even now is bad enough that she is isolated from Western media and the society of Western women.) Perhaps I would like to have my son, when he is older, to have some kind of woman available besides wasted harlots.
In general, I am a Traditionalist. This is different than today’s TradCons, which Dalrock (among many) have rightly eviscerated. But one thing you can say about Traditional solutions is that they have actually worked, in real life, for a long period of time, and produced good results. You could invent some kind of new solution, but Utopian dreams sometimes don’t work out. I am not a Christian, although I find that they are my natural allies, so I am Christian-friendly. Ezra Pound once did a broad review of spiritual traditions, including many in the East. He eventually decided to become a Christian (specifically, an Anglican), not because he was not aware of the many failings of the Anglican Church in his day, but because he realized that, if he wanted to gain the advantages that come from cooperation with like-minded people, he would have to join some kind of existing community.
I say often that “you have to tell women what to do.” They seem to be incapable of organizing their actions without external leadership. This leadership may come in the form of individual vision, or it may come in the form of social norms, in-group behavior, and the artificially-created “social norms” and “in-group behavior” manufactured by the Cultural Marxists in music, television and movies. Women have a choice of which leadership they choose. But, they seem to lack the masculine capability of analysis and description, awareness of longer-term cause and effect, and also based on this, invention of definite solutions, independent of existing norms. Without someone else to do these things, who they can follow, they are rudderless. Some women are quite intelligent, but this ability is usually channeled entirely toward the Rationalization Hamster, and also lies, manipulation, and deceit. (This is basically the Rationalization Hamster applied to others.) But along with this, women are open to suggestion. If some men start telling women what to do, and it seems to them an attractive proposition, some women will follow.
And so, although you can lament the present condition of women in the U.S. and the West today, unless you tell them what to do, they will not change. It is not enough to say “I don’t like this and I don’t like that.” Eliminating options and identifying problems are important steps toward figuring out What To Do, but do not create a solution in themselves. Along with this, men have to clarify what they want. Today, we lament the fact that most women today are unfit to be wives and mothers, and are frankly dangerous and destructive in those roles. And yet, we seem to like having a large supply of sluts on ready call, so we have been perhaps a little hesitant to say: don’t be sluts. Obviously, we are going to have to make some decisions here. Are you ready for a world in which women are sexually unavailable until after your wedding day?
Unfortunately, by focusing on analysis and description of present conditions, men are, in a way, telling women what to do. Men say that “all women are like that.” Women hear this, and, following what they are being told by men, as is their nature, behave in the manner that such men say they behave. While it is true that women certainly have the potential to be “like that,” and today that potential is reality, it is also true that, in the past, they were not like that. Just as there is “women’s nature,” there is also “men’s nature.” For example, men have the potential for domination and plunder, that we see in every gang or group of bandits, and which anthropologists have recorded in primitive human societies around the world. And yet, most men today are not like that. The difference is part of what we call: civilization.
Thus, I want to focus on concrete, specific solutions. For example, there is near-universal agreement that today’s laws regarding divorce, sexual assault, domestic violence and other interactions between men and women are grossly anti-male and dysfunctional today. But, you rarely hear anyone say what, then, the laws should be. If you were to change it, what would you do? In the past (before 1970), for example, divorce required either mutual consent and terms acceptable to both parties, or, for a unilateral divorce, abridgement of certain conditions, notably adultery or serious domestic violence, with evidence that would hold up in jury trial. In another example from history, divorce among the ancient Romans would result in the man keeping the children. This served as a double preventative: most women would avoid divorce if it meant being separated from her children; and also, a man looking for a younger, sexier wife would probably be handicapped by having custody of his children. This would naturally require someone to handle childcare; and what better (or cheaper) person than the children’s natural mother? At the same time, a younger, sexier women would probably not be very interested in caring for another woman’s offspring.
Besides not telling women what to do, men today are bizarrely, pathologically politically inactive. Men need to join together and get things done to change the laws, just as men have always done to produce any change. Look around you: who is going to do it, if not men? At the very least, men should support existing men’s rights organizations. It is true that they have been woefully ineffective. But, more money would probably help fix that. Any man who is unwilling to give $25 to an existing MRA organization deserves everything he gets. This is evidence of extreme learned helplessness. Think of it like doing political pushups. If you can’t do even one pushup, you are in bad shape my friend. Get over your learned helplessness. Give another $25 to the YouTube Redpill personality of your choice. Divorce law is State law, so eventually there will have to be an MRA organization for each state, which lobbies and informs State legislators: the Ohio Society for Men’s Rights. If all concerned men were giving $100 a year in total to the cause, there would be enough money around that other men would have the funding to establish such organizations. Unfortunately, most men cannot risk too much opprobrium, as it jeopardizes their livelihoods. Thus, we need specialists, whose livelihood is itself based on objecting to the status quo, and who can serve as professional lightning rods.
Men are the builders of civilization, not only in steel and concrete, but also in laws and principles. Women nurture the creations of the men of their choice. So: start building.

Never Had a Boyfriend

If you listen, there are a lot of women today who get a lot of dick, but never have a boyfriend. One reason is that they are too slutty for even short-term monogamy. But, there are a large number of women who sort-of wanted a more serious relationship, that might lead to marriage, and never got it.

I mention this for all those girls who think that they are going to just do what everyone else is doing, in this time when even those things are crumbling to dust, and that somehow something wonderful is going to come of it. Good luck with that!

Usually, these girls figure out something is wrong around age 30, and often try to do something about it. But, it is usually too late for them by then. They are too old, have too much history, their bad habits have hardened unalterably, and they have already made their decisions (often, Married to the Corporation).

Laine’s Letters

Lori Alexander offered a series called Laine’s Letters, from a website no longer online. It is from a housewife in California, who stayed at home full-time with four children, raising her family on a household income of not more than $30,000. It gives a good idea of how to live on a low income, but more than that, it shows the attitude of a Good Wife. She had a lot to complain about, but she never complained, and instead made getting by in the lower-middle class into a triumph.

Here is the first of Laine’s Letters:

1 ~ Tithe the first of our income ~ as soon as it comes in. This is the foundation of our money (Proverbs 3:9,10). We had a hard time with this when we first began tithing, and it was hit or miss whether we tithed or gave. We definitely had a “purse with holes in it” as described in Malachi for those who do not put God first in their finances. We then got serious and gave regularly. God sewed up the holes in our purse. (She taught her children to tithe, too.)

“Bring all your tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in Mine House, and prove Me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open the Windows of Heaven and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it” (Malachi 3:10).

2 ~ Give to the poor and those that are in need every month, as well as the spreading of the gospel. A generous man will be blessed, the Bible says. “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Luke 7:38).  “He who has pity on the poor lends to the Lord, and He will pay back what he has given” (Proverbs 19:17).

3 ~ Pay back all our debts. We paid more on the principal every month to get the house loan paid off quicker. We also pay our taxes and have the money ready when it is required. “Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes: if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another” (Romans 13:7, 8). So we paid back all of our debts. Many, many times at self-sacrifice.You can’t imagine how joyful my husband is at having no debt against his name.

4 ~ Save, save, save. Every paycheck, I do my best to put a little away. Even if it is only a little, it is a savings. We have a savings account, a retirement account where a sum is taken out of my husband’s salary each month, and an emergency account for emergencies. “There is desirable treasure and oil in the dwelling of the wise, but a foolish man squanders all that he has.” Proverbs 21:20

5 ~ A good budget is a necessity. There are so many good Christian books on budgeting by Larry Burkett and Ron Blue among others. I can tell right where I am in a month just by checking my budget in my purse that I keep on 3X5 cards. {Then she has a Yearly Budget and a Bare Bones Budget in case her husband became ill or hurt.}

6 ~ A Freedom Account is something I learned from Mary Hunt years ago. I take my yearly expenses and divide that amount by twelve, then I know how much has to go into my Freedom Account each month for these yearly expenses when they crop up….It takes discipline, but it’s so profitable once you’ve been trained by it.

7 ~ I do my best to keep our electrical and water bills as low as possible. When we were in an electrical crisis and our bill tripled overnight, we went into a very small, hip high refrigerator with no freezer and shut down our water heater. …We had to heat our water to bathe and to wash dishes. It was rough for awhile, but I was able to keep us on our budget. {She admits that they had to truly sacrifice to get out of debt and this is an example of a sacrifice they made, no hot running water for a time.}

8 ~ I keep our telephone bill at $25 a month or lower. The way I’ve been able to do that is by using a phone card from Costco for long distance calling…We call my mother-in-law weekly and a few other calls during the month, but mostly we write letters or email. {Today, with iPhone, it makes having a phone ridiculously expensive! I have lived 55 years without an iPhone and I am sure you can to if you wanted to in order to get out of debt.}

9 ~ I save a lot of money on food by cooking from scratch and by continuing to try new recipes in my kitchen. I make a lot of things from scratch including some cleansers and cheese, buttermilk, yogurt, etc. I make almost all of our bread and keep stretching myself in this area to include all types of bread. “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all that he has.” {Proverbs 21:20} I pray before I shop, while I shop, and then after I shop as to what I will cook. I love shopping with the Lord! I shop from many stores and loss leaders so I shop weekly. About eating out, that is something we don’t do very often, so it’s really special when we do eat out. I love the Dollar Stores and have found many great deals there. Also Big Lots is another favorite of mine. It’s really amazing how much you can save by simply staying home. ~Smile~

10 ~ Savings must be like a bill that you pay. It really helps to look at it that way and to get it into another account as soon as possible. “After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.” {2 Corinthians 12:14}

11 ~ An emergency savings is good to have in your house for emergencies. This also should not be touched unless you have to use it. I learned this from a book about the depression. It’s so good to have on hand.

12 ~ I read Christian finance books frequently. {She then lists books by Larry Burkett, Ron Blue, Mary Hunt, Tightwad Gazette, and Miserly Moms by Jonni McCoy.}

13 ~ We don’t have any cable, so we don’t get much reception. But I figure we have saved approximately $6000 in the past 17 years living without cable. {You could save a lot more than that these days!}

14 ~ We also do not have Internet access. Whenever we need to use the Internet, I use it at the library for free.

15 ~ I try to keep us as healthy as possible by good food with quality ingredients. “She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar.” I study health, nutrition, and herbs as much as I do stretching our finances. It has saved our teeth, since we don’t have dental insurance. I am amazed at a woman’s saving power in the home. It’s such a blessing! Time is money. What we do with our time results in how our money is spent, one way or another. I keep studying Proverbs 31 and praying through the verses to learn to practice all that God would have me to practice in keeping this home. I recognize that in my home keeping ~ spiritual, emotional, and physical health is going on. It’s all so invaluable that you can’t put a price tag on it.

16 ~ It’s so true that if you waste not, you want not. I’m always looking for ways to stretch something a little farther. “Better to go to be supperless, than to rise in debt.” {Benjamin Franklin}

32 and Single — Now What?

There’s nothing wrong with being 32 and single, if you don’t want to have children and a family (that is, a husband and children). You can just “have fun,” or work on your career, or whatever it is that single women do in their thirties.

But, a lot of women finally figure out that they want children and family. Remember, about 92% of all White women actually do get married, or they have, until now. This does not even count the women who wanted to get married, but didn’t. Mostly, they want to get married because they want to have children.

Let’s say that you wanted to get married. What to do then? Well, whatever you have been doing hasn’t worked very well, or you would not be single — that is, not only unmarried, but without even a significant boyfriend. Many women get to 32 and find that they have not even had a significant boyfriend, ever. If they are not outright sluts (many are not), they have been in Side Chick Rotation.

Mostly, men should not marry women over 26. These women are just bad risks. There is not much chance of success, and terrible consequences for failure. So, a woman who wants to get married after age 32 needs to be significantly different than all the other women in a similar situation.

Let’s look at some of the factors that make these women bad risks.

Thug spawn. Single moms with children — a large portion of all unmarried women over 30.

Sluts. Also a large portion of all women over 30. One problem with sluts is that they are still sluts after you marry them. Sluts gonna slut. Expect rampant cheating. No man needs this kind of trauma in his life, especially when children are involved.

Incapable of pair-bonding. Even women who were never really sluts, but always wanted a serious relationship (although rarely getting it), typically have destroyed their pair-bonding potential by 30. The general rule for women is: three sexual partners for every year she lives alone. This is roughly the median. Three is not very much. For many women, it means a hookup which was a bad idea; two failed attempts at forming a lasting relationship via “dating” that turned into little more than a hookup, and 362 nights of solitude. This is not very much for a young woman with itchy panties, compared to the monogamous young wife of the same age who is getting pounded four nights a week. Any actual woman might have ten times more than the median, or one-tenth as many. Some women are actually virgins at 30. But, men assume that all women will lie about “their number,” except perhaps the virgin. Pair-bonding potential in women tends to disappear after five sexual partners.

Married to the corporation. Her real marriage has already been established. A man is just a disposable sperm donor and ATM machine.

Feminist horseshit. There’s a reason she’s still single.

So, I would say to a 32yo woman who wants to get married, that you must be significantly better than all the other 32yo women who want to get married. Many will actually get married, but most husbands will regret this decision. They are, actually, unfit for marriage. “Significantly better” also means: significantly different — not only different than other women, but significantly different than your own past behavior which is obviously not working. You want not only to get married, but also to be the kind of wife that a man is happy to be married to. I don’t mean “theoretically,” but actually. After all is done, when you are 70 years old, you want your husband to be able to look back and say: “she was a good wife.” This applies even to those men who were bad husbands. When you are 70, he should be able to look back and say: “I was a piece of shit, and everything that happened was my fault, because she was always a good wife.”

I do not want to be the guy who enables a bunch of unfit women to make men miserable by marrying them, wreaking chaos and destruction along the way. If you can’t be a Good Wife, then please stay single.

Find a man who will marry you. This is different than “find a man,” or “find a man who is fun.” A lot of women split their “find a man” efforts into two: Mr. Right, and Mr. Right Now. For Mr. Right, they have a long wish list. Mr. Right Now doesn’t have any such requirements. The result is that she never actually meets Mr. Right, who doesn’t actually exist; or, if he does, he is not interested in her. Mr. Right is just a fantasy with no practical application. She only has Mr. Right Now. Basically, she is a slut, because even if she doesn’t want to be a slut, Mr. Right Now doesn’t stick around, and she wouldn’t even want it if he did, since he is not Mr. Right at all; so, she has to find a new Mr. Right Now.

This doesn’t work. You have to find a man that will actually marry you. This means a real man — probably not in the Top 10%, because men in the Top 10% don’t waste their time with 32yo leftovers with issues, with a few exceptions of course. Many Top 10% men are not available. They are already married. When they got married, they were not yet a Top 10% man. Even if men in the Top 10% had no standards or preferences whatsoever, and married whatever woman basically at random, even then, only 10% of women would marry a Top 10% man. But, once you add some standards and preferences, then we see that, for the most part, the Top 10% Man is 90% likely to marry a woman in the Top 20%. This leaves only 1% of men for the remaining 80% of women, and 80:1 ratio, assuming even that that man is interested in marriage at all.

I would be very overt about your marriage goals. This will screen out 96% of men (on dating apps for example), but may actually be a plus for those few men that are interested in finding good wives. They want a serious woman, with discipline, not just a “let’s have fun and see what happens” girl. Every man assumes anyway that a woman over 30 wants to get married quickly and have children, even if she claims otherwise.

When you start to meet the Real Men who actually have some interest in potentially marrying you (basically, you are not too ugly or have other upfront disqualifiers, in their view), you will see what your real options are. Let’s say you meet ten men who roughly fit this category. Probably, you will never do better than the top 2-3 of these men, no matter how long you spend at it; for one thing, you are getting older, and if you dillydally for three more years, you will be 35. Your choice is to marry a man like that, or remain single and childless forever.

Plan to be a Good Wife. This is different than having a goal of Getting Married. A lot of women want to get married, and achieve this; and then, they have no idea what to do next. They never wanted to actually be married. Mostly, they drift on their “feelings” and the norms they see around them, which usually means that they are cheating before too long, or making their husband miserable with the usual nagging, complaining and manipulation.

A woman who wants to be a Good Wife will often find it easy to get married also, even if she is not thinking about that very much. It is just something that happens along the way. If you tell a man that “I want to get married,” he thinks: you and all these other leftover girls. If you tell a man that “I want to be a Good Wife,” and you really mean it (because people sense when you are lying, especially the men over 30 that you are likely meeting with), he gets out his phone to record the event, since nobody will believe him otherwise.

I think that even former turbo-sluts, with 100+ sexual partners, can be good wives, but only if it becomes their overriding goal and purpose. This is like an alcoholic who destroys his life, turns it around, and becomes cold sober and a model citizen. He never touches alcohol again, not because he doesn’t like booze, but because he does. These former sluts have lost their natural pair-bonding potential, but they can have a more rational and deliberate sort of pair-bonding, a mature love for their husbands. They can have perfect faithfulness, chastity and devotion for their husbands, because they have made a decision to do so, and stick to it like Ulysses tied to the mast, because they consider it their only hope and salvation in a world that they know is corrupt and fallen. They can be good wives because they make the decision to be good wives, and devote themselves to accomplishing that task, as if their life depended on it.

This is rare. And, it doesn’t happen by accident.

Remember, the goal is to actually be a good wife, not just say that you want to be a good wife, but fail miserably; or, even just forget that you said it at all. A Good Wife doesn’t say “I want to be a Good Wife” more than a few times in her life. What she says is: “I got up early and made breakfast for you.”

Plan to be a Good Mother. A woman who wants only to be a Good Wife may discover that she becomes a Good Girlfriend. She can be pleasant and fun within the context of a childless relationship. A man wants a Wife who will be the mother of his children. She must be a Good Mother. This takes a lot of effort. A woman needs to be prepared to take on this huge task, and to pour effort and energy into it. A lot of women might like to be married, and are even prepared to be Good Wives without the additional strains and demands of children, and then find that they were not mentally prepared at all to be Mothers; much less Good Mothers, which are rare these days. Confused and drained by the demands of child-raising (made far more difficult if she also works), she soon becomes a Bad Wife to her husband, who she blames for her puzzlingly unpleasant condition. She didn’t know that marriage was not an agreement for mutual amusement.

Many women may decide to be a Good Mother after they have children. This is a natural thing. But, it is rarer to find a woman who plans to be a Good Mother even before she is married. Image that you are on a date, and you tell a man that: “I want to be a Good Mother.” Then, you can list what you think this requires. This is a very different experience, for a man, than the woman who makes it clear that she just wants to be entertained while eating a meal that she doesn’t have to pay for.

Decide that you Won’t Get Divorced. I have seen some women whose own parents got divorced, and they dislike it so much that they make the decision to Not Get Divorced, no matter what. It is so easy for a woman to get divorced these days, and with many apparent incentives to do so (although she typically pays the price later), that a woman has to make a special effort to avoid this outcome. She should make this special effort before she gets married. Just decide: I Won’t Get Divorced.

Be willing to sign a prenup. Maybe, even suggest it. It will show that you are serious. Prenups are irrelevant if you don’t get divorced. So, what’s the problem?

If it really doesn’t work out well, then the rules of divorce are: don’t get divorced until the children are out of the house; don’t take any of your husband’s money or assets, but just walk out the door; have an amiable divorce without lawyers or courts involved; make a living on your own.

Be A Babe. There is so little competition these days, with a good 40% of women overweight and obese, and also many women who don’t make even a little effort to beautify themselves, that it is very easy for even an average woman to Be A Babe. For example:

This woman is around 32, and also, nothing special in terms of gifted genetics. She is an average girl. Her picture on the Right is what you get when you make a little effort. Her picture on the Left is, basically, her competition. She might not win a beauty contest, but she is enough of a Babe to be nearly any man’s wife. If you look like the girl on the Left, why should any man waste his time on you? Besides physical repulsion, it shows a lack of self-control and standards — in other words, bad character. A man whose wife looks like the girl on the Left soon discovers that his own children are Fugly too. In practice, an equal 40% of men are just as Fugly, and these men (if they don’t have compensating $$$) will be stuck with these women, and vice versa.

But, nobody is banished to Fugly-town, men or women. It is your own choice.

Plan to Have a Cheap Wedding. A “cheap wedding” looks like this. Maybe you have a ceremony in a church, or maybe somewhere else, like a beach or a park, or your parents’ backyard. Then, you have a party. This party consists of: your immediate family, maybe a few relatives (or not), and a few friends. It should not be more than about 25 people. Hold it at your parent’s house. Let your Mom and your Sister do the cooking. Buy a case of wine. Wear a nice dress, preferably white, preferably not too sexy. Have a good time. Spend no more than $2000 to get a hotel for a week somewhere that you can drive to, and enjoy being a married couple. The total cost, not including the honeymoon, should be under $1000; plus, possibly something for the church.

If you are looking forward to 40 years of Being a Good Wife, a modest wedding like this should be no problem. It will still be a lot of fun, and a whole lot less bother. If you tell a man that you plan to have a cheap wedding like this, he will understand that you are not one of those women (most of them, I think) with princess wedding fantasies; and also, that you will be a frugal wife who knows how to have a good time without spending a lot of money, and not given to princess fantasies after you are married.

Getting By in the Middle Class

I was reading in the comments section about a woman who did many of the things we talk about here. She married a decent, hard-working man, became a stay-at-home Mom, and took up homeschooling her three children. Her husband works in a middle-class sort of occupation, probably in the trades, and makes about $60,000 a year.

This is not much money for a family of five, but it is a common situation for many today. The woman said that she lives in a modest 1600sf house, and barely has a few dollars left at the end of the month.

What would I say to a woman like this?

Obviously, one solution is “make more money,” and maybe she could try a few things, perhaps starting a YouTube channel. I’ve suggested that a nice occupation for homeschoolers is homeschooling other people’s children. But, let’s look instead on the expenditure side.

Houses today tend to cost about $180/sf, so a 1600sf house would probably cost about $288,000. This is way too much for a $60,000 household income. They need to get that way down. The typical guideline is 3x income, so that’s 3x$60,000 or $180,000. But, that is the outer limit, so I would try to get way below that, perhaps around $120,000. At a similar $180/sf, that would mean about 670 square feet. I would look for a decent 670 square foot condo, in a decent neighborhood with decent neighbors. Location, location, location. I chose a location at random: Sarasota, FL, and saw what kind of condo you could get for $120,000. As expected, you can get 650-750 square feet, in a nice sort of place, which typically means one bedroom. Here is a 715 sf 1BR condo for sale at $105,000:

Not too shabby, right?

One bedroom for a family of five is not much; on the other hand, the monthly payments, including a mortgage, all taxes, insurance, HOA condo fees etc., is $813 a month. And, since it is a condo, you don’t have to do any yardwork or building maintenance, also saving time and energy. Utilities costs can be much, much cheaper. Since you would own this condo, you could potentially split the one bedroom into two somehow by adding a wall — probably an easy job for a husband who is a tradesman, even if that is not his specialty.

You can live well in these conditions. Here is a story about a family of four in 660 square feet in Brooklyn, NY — including a Home Office.

Since most people make an average amount of money, and we are promoting the Stay-At-Home Mom here, it is important to create a lifestyle that is sustainable. You are going to need a car too, probably, which means another $600 a month for that.

You can still make more money. In that case, you can just pay down your mortgage, and before too long, you will be free even of that, which means that your expenses will decline too. Thus, you would have both more income and less expenses, which could be pretty pleasant.

Being willing to live like this is an important element of being a Good Wife. The fact of the matter is, not all men make a way-above-average income. You can live comfortably, and well, under these conditions. It is a far better outcome than being perpetually short of cash because you are trying to do the impossible.

Bringing Back the Extended Family

Here is some commentary by Rod Dreher about a long piece by David Brooks about the end of the “Nuclear Family” in The Atlantic. The Atlantic is mostly Leftist brainwashing, so you have to be careful about these things. Nevertheless, the article by Brooks is not as bad as you think. Brooks argues that the Nuclear Family is a short-lived aberration from the long-term norm, which was the Extended Family. The Extended Family typically meant that grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all lived close to each other, and often, grandparents lived with their children in old age. Brooks argues that the Nuclear Family, as an ideal, was a post-1950 notion. You could make a connection with “dating,” which we know mainly as a Postwar 1950s-era institution. It seems “traditional” but actually it was a short-term aberration that has shown no signs of long-term viability.

The Nuclear Family, in which there is a mother, father and children who live otherwise isolated, far from relatives, has many inherent difficulties; and this is doubly true when you add Working Moms. So many people without the support of Extended Family end up in trouble, because of circumstances, because of a lack of support available between family members, and because of bad choices made with little guidance. A Working Mom also necessitates Public School, or perhaps private schools for a lucky few who can afford them. So, you end up with Cultural Marxist brainwashed children — often, even the ones that go to private schools. As increasing numbers of people lack either Extended Families or Nuclear Families, they tend to look toward the government to provide alternatives in the form of socialist policies.

For now, it is hard enough to get young men and women to interest themselves in a Nuclear Family — to make that a priority, instead of something that you can add to your resume after a graduate degree, or just a necessary step toward the main goal, which is to win Cash and Prizes in divorce court and welfare benefits. But, I think there is a point here that the Nuclear Family is often not quite enough, and that you should either form connections with your biological Extended Family, or perhaps, create a network that serves like an Extended Family, which is not easy or it would be less rare than it is. This “network-creating” takes time and effort; while not having one also means that you are thrown on your own resources, i.e., your own time and effort. Either way, you should prioritize the Stay At Home Mom.

30% of Gen Z women identify as LGBTQ

I believe in focusing on solutions, not problems. But, one of the problems is that people are still sitting on their asses. You can tell if you are sitting on your ass, because if you weren’t, it would be very obvious. For example, plenty of people complain about the education system, but only homeschoolers, and people who send their children to a few select alternative private schools and colleges, have actually got up off their ass.

Apparently, 30% of all women under 25 now identify as LGBTQ. This includes “bisexual,” which might include also a lot of girls who just want to be in the fashionable crowd. It compares to about 5% for women over 60. This is a sign that you better damn well get up off your ass.

Remember that “women under 25” includes basically all of the women who are in their prime window of marriage, 16-25.

It is easy to imagine the kind of talk this topic might generate. But, the goal is not talk, but action. Some young women will have to break from where the mainstream is going. They will be acutely aware of this. “Other women do this, but I will do that.” Also, older people, and parents especially, need to take some action if they are going to avoid these kinds of outcomes. These people will not only feel different, and think differently, they will do everything differently, just as homeschoolers are not just public schoolers with funny thoughts. Homeschoolers do everything differently. Certainly, the fraction of people who will do this is small. But, just as with homeschoolers, if only 2-3% of people do something differently, they soon find that 2-3% of everybody is still millions and millions of people, and quickly makes a huge community.

Unfortunately, I think that MGTOW is contributing to these trends. Many older men are telling younger men that they should avoid marriage. There are a lot of good reasons for this, and it is actually good advice, broadly speaking, to avoid marrying the majority of women today. But, you can have a rational view of the present state of most women today, and the present legal standing of men, and still be a supporter of marriage and family, in principle even if not in practice with most women. In other words, MGTOW for Marriage.

A commenter, who is a Catholic woman under 25, said:

But I have seen an increasing number of women swear off dating, swear off marriage, swear off kids, and especially, swear off men, in the last several years. (I’ve also seen the other side, where many women are decrying the lack of decent men to date, or decent men to marry, but that’s a whole other discussion) The Anti-Men crowd, in my honest opinion, is a new wave of Neo-Feminism that not only wants to ‘crush the patriarchy’ but also wants to be able to move in a circle where men are not just optional, they’re completely unnecessary. These New Feminists are also increasingly gender-fluid, and welcome (with open arms) male-to-female Trans Rights Activists into their ranks.

This is a sort of WGTOW stance. I have warned that women are basically incapable of leadership (Matriarchy Does Not Exist), and they take their guidance from others, especially men. They are hearing that Men want to go their own way, and conclude naturally that they too should be planning for a life lived alone. They are actually doing what men are telling them to do. That is why I think that we should take seriously all the problems leading men to rationally conclude that they should not marry the majority of women available today, under today’s legal situation, and then say: Women Should Behave Like This, and the Laws Should Be Changed Like This, because Family Is Important. Women will hear this, and they will change their behavior (some of them), and also add some support to changes in the laws. Because, women do what you tell them to.

Get Up Off Your Knees
Get Your Patriarchy On
Tell The Bitches What To Do

Be A Babe (Japanese Edition)

Christmas is “date night” in Buddhist Japan. Here we have Moe, a wife and mother, dressing up for her husband Moto for Christmas dinner. Moe is a Level 5 Housewife in the realm of Japanese traditional dress. Here she is taking the evening off in Western wear. Unlike 10/10 girls in the West, where Hot=Crazy, and also Lazy, Dream Babes in Japan often make good wives too.

Western wear is fine for fooling around, but things get serious when the Kimono come out.

Her kimono here are spectacular, but also quite modest, as appropriate for a married woman out in the city.

Biblical Womanhood — A Study Guide

The Greeks and Romans did not have morality as part of their religion. The “religion” of the Greeks and Romans includes stuff like this:

Zeus takes the form of a swan, and rapes/seduces Leda, the wife of King Tyndareus of Sparta. She bears two children from this, Helen and Polydeuces. Later, at a feast, Zeus is asked to declare which goddess is fairest, among Hera, Athena and Aphrodite. Zeus apparently perceives that he might be in some trouble whatever his answer is, so he asks a Trojan prince, Paris, to judge between them. Paris looks at the three goddesses and declares that he can’t decide with their clothes on. So, the three goddesses get naked before him, and also make promises to Paris if he chooses them. Hera offers to make him king of Europe and Asia. Athena offers her wisdom and skill in war. Aphrodite offers him the world’s most beautiful woman. Paris takes up Aphrodite’s offer. The world’s most beautiful woman is Helen, the half-bird girl, who is now married to Menelaus, King of Sparta. Paris goes to Sparta and (with Aphrodite’s assistance) “rapes” (seduces) Helen, who goes off to Troy with Paris. This begins the nine-year Trojan War, in which Troy is reduced to ashes, and its citizens slaughtered. Aeneas, prince of Troy, escapes the burning city, wanders the Mediterranean for a while, and eventually ends up in Italy, where he founds the city of Rome.

Leda and the Swan. 16th century copy after a lost painting by Michelangelo.

From this, you can get an idea of why Christianity replaced this pagan gobbledygook in the fourth century.

Because the Greek/Roman religion was so inadequate for an advanced civilization, the morality of Greece and Rome was often found among the philosophers, which did not have much connection to religion. However, in the Christian tradition, the morality of the society is integrated into the teachings of the Church. As Church involvement has declined, this has left many young women today, and also their mothers, without much guidance.

This is an introduction to a short new book by Lori Alexander, called Biblical Womanhood — a Study Guide. It is only $1.95 in Kindle version.

Buy Biblical Womanhood, a Study Guide, by Lori Alexander.

Be A Sex Goddess

A “Sex Goddess” is not a slut. Nope. A Good Girl can be a sex goddess.

You are going to be doing something together for the next forty years, so you might as well do it right.

Those babies aren’t going to make themselves.

I describe what I mean by a Sex Goddess in the Good Wife Level 5:

Since we are talking about the Good Wife Level 5 here, of course her sex life is the stuff of legend. She is not horny all the time, does not have an “insatiable sexual appetite,” and is not interested in sex with men (or women) other than her husband. Kinky and deviant things she regards as a sign of dysfunction, for people who, for some reason, can’t enjoy things the normal way. She is normally quite modest, and careful not to attract the attention of other men with suggestive dress or coquettish behavior. Other men notice anyway, and regard her with a kind of respectful admiration. Sex is not always such a big affair, because that would become silly. But, from time to time, she and her husband enjoy a long session of lovemaking, where she will have a dozen or more orgasms over the course of an hour or longer — she can never keep count. And since she has a bangin’ hot body (for her age), this is quite a lot of fun for her husband, who hardly has any interest in other women, who he knows could hardly be any better and very likely much worse. With the help of “wife goggles,” her husband considers his wife very sexy well into her forties and even fifties. Her husband too, knowing that sex is a shared endeavor and that he has to keep up his end of the deal, keeps himself in shape and polishes his lovemaking skills. If you asked the Good Wife Level 5 what she attributes her bedroom success to, she would insist it is her husband’s extraordinary ability and inherent natural sexiness, since he does the work and she mostly just rolls her eyes back and goes along for the ride. If you asked the husband, he would certainly give credit to his wife, since he is not doing anything else than any other man might do, but he is getting much better results. The Good Wife Level 5 read on the internet somewhere that 75% of women report that they rarely or never achieve orgasm during vaginal intercourse, but she regards this as ridiculous and inconceivable. She might get interested in sex as a realm of exploration and study, just as she is interested in all the other aspects of her life. She has her favorite parts of the Kama Sutra. She might get involved in Tantric sex practices, and not in a dilettantish way either. This would require the participation of her husband, who would also join her on this journey, as any man would who is not a damn fool.

Straight Talk for Women, with A. V. Yader

This is a series originally written for men — men who, over and over, do stupid things that they should not do. Thus, they need to be talked to in plain language. I am presenting it here for women, particularly younger women, who still have something left to save. Mostly, it is pretty obvious stuff, that women can agree with. But, alas, like men, women today do the same stupid stuff over and over, which they should not do. For example:

Prescription antidepressants are bad for you. If you need evidence that you are a fucked up mess, you have it right there. So, don’t get to that point in the first place.

Don’t complain about your health. (a common means of manipulation, attention-whoring, and excusing indolence)

Don’t make fake rape claims. If you were really raped for real, you might just want to shut up about it. Also included: don’t make fake domestic violence claims. If you have really experienced real domestic violence, it is probably because you chose that kind of guy on purpose to begin with, which was obvious to everyone around you.

Don’t be messy. Also, don’t be a whore.

“Strong and Independent Woman” = noisy pain in the ass who is unfit for a relationship.

You could go on and on and on. It would be nice if a few girls today didn’t end up a shitshow at 30.

When a nation is torn apart by war, it can be rebuilt. Foundations can be re-poured and made with stronger concrete; buildings and bridges can be reconstructed using modern materials and updated practices; and infrastructures can be improved upon and modernized—things can be made better and stronger than they were in the past due to technological advancements and the know-how provided by men.

But what about the people? Sadly, the ravages of war will be etched into their minds until death. The passage of time will certainly ease old wounds, but ultimately, people can’t be rebuilt, they must be replaced. Only a new generation can come along to provide a fresh start and relieve the pain that was once endured. And even then, history will always be there to remind everyone of the past.

It’s no different than a war being waged against feminist indoctrination and “equality.” There are no buildings, bridges, and monuments to rebuild or resurrect. But there are millions of battle hardened women with cum-drenched souls, mental disorders, and everlasting baggage. If every woman in America stood up today and said she wanted to end the war and return to traditionalism, it wouldn’t change a thing. You would still have the same amount of women worthy of commitment, marriage, and bearing your children as you do right at this moment: practically zero. [editor’s note: The good ones are gone by 26.)

A new generation of women would have to be brought up in order to see an improvement, but who would be the mothers and role models for this new crop of females? Who would we entrust to raise respectable young girls who would grow into traditional women with good values? The same degenerate losers we have at our disposal right now? The same women we deliberately avoid impregnating in the first place?

They would be the ones to pull it all together and steer the ship back on course? I don’t fucking think so. The foundations and infrastructures between the sexes are far too fractured and fragmented for things to ever be what they once were—never mind being improved upon or strengthened. This is a war that isn’t even close to being over, and we’re losing.

It’s not going to get better, it’s just that simple—this is it. Women are not going to magically become friendly, feminine, chaste and well-mannered just because that’s what men want them to be. Mental illnesses are not going to miraculously disappear with a pill or therapy. The carnage from all of the drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity is a permanent fixture on the American dating landscape—it’s not a bug, it’s a feature. This is not some passing storm that one can just ride out and there are no clear blue skies just beyond the horizon. And I wouldn’t count on this forecast changing anytime during our lifetimes, either, if I were you.

Additionally, we have to accept that women are fine with this—they like the storm. They have their beta male raincoats and their government sponsored umbrellas: they’re drier than a Jewish girl’s pussy when she’s surrounded by men who don’t make good money. They’re high, they’re dry, and they don’t have anything to worry about. And why would they?

No matter how bad life gets for a woman, no matter how much of a fuck-up she becomes and no matter how much destruction she leaves in her wake—some dickhead will be there ready and willing (and enthusiastically) to break her fall. This is why they don’t take their jobs seriously; it’s why they don’t take their finances seriously; it’s why they don’t take anything seriously—because they know if things start to get the least bit difficult, men will always be be there to apply tourniquets to the most hemorrhaging areas of their lives. And the worst part is: they’ll never appreciate or be grateful for any of it.

That’s not easy to accept, especially since men have no such luxury: it’s either make it or break it, sink or swim. No matter which direction you turn, the guns of failure are aimed directly at your temple, and, in many cases, it’s women with their dirty little fingers comfortably nestled on the triggers, patiently waiting for the opportune moment to squeeze.

The modern woman is not going to take care of you. She’s not going to pick you up when you fall and she’s not going to be there for you when you fail. A supportive, decent woman is something your grandfathers and, perhaps, your fathers got to enjoy. But for you? Nope, you’re on your own, buddy. It’s on you, as a man, to step it up and get to where you want to be.

Women aren’t taught to appreciate your efforts and sacrifices. Your success as a man will always be reduced to “privilege,” luck, or some other make believe advantage or benefit that you wish like hell you truly had. Women either hate you for your success or want to use you because of it—loving you for it never enters the equation. This is the default setting on the modern female, and there’s no way to reprogram the bitch.

And that is what you are up against. You’re surrounded by a very sick group of battle-worn women, and it’s from this pool of women that you’re supposed to—somehow—find someone decent and respectable with whom you can build a solid relationship and start a family. The odds of finding a good one aren’t in your favor, and the majority of us aren’t going to make it.

Despite this unfortunate reality, we still have lives to live. We still have our biological needs and those must be met one way or another. For better or worse, these are the women we have at our disposal. So, it’s in our best interests to be proactive in our defenses, and to ensure our future and well-being stay firmly in tact. We do this by sniffing out red flags and knowing when it’s best to just walk—or run, if necessary—away. It is my goal to provide this knowledge to the very best of my ability.