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Complaining Is Not Enough.

Welcome to my blog. Its purpose is to explore various topics regarding sex, marriage and family — an area with many problems today, as has been amply explored by the “red pill community.” They have done an excellent job of analysis and description. But, little has been said about solutions, and this persistent lack has been troubling me, so I will take it up. I tried doing a little bit via YouTube, the preferred medium these days it seems, but I am not suited to it. So, I will join with Dalrock, Rollo Tomassi and others in print. Like Dalrock, I am happily married, for seventeen years, and have a son. (Yes, it really is “happily,” perhaps because my wife is Japanese, and her English even now is bad enough that she is isolated from Western media and the society of Western women.) Perhaps I would like to have my son, when he is older, to have some kind of woman available besides wasted harlots.
 
In general, I am a Traditionalist. This is different than today’s TradCons, which Dalrock (among many) have rightly eviscerated. But one thing you can say about Traditional solutions is that they have actually worked, in real life, for a long period of time, and produced good results. You could invent some kind of new solution, but Utopian dreams sometimes don’t work out. I am not a Christian, although I find that they are my natural allies, so I am Christian-friendly. Ezra Pound once did a broad review of spiritual traditions, including many in the East. He eventually decided to become a Christian (specifically, an Anglican), not because he was not aware of the many failings of the Anglican Church in his day, but because he realized that, if he wanted to gain the advantages that come from cooperation with like-minded people, he would have to join some kind of existing community.
 
I say often that “you have to tell women what to do.” They seem to be incapable of organizing their actions without external leadership. This leadership may come in the form of individual vision, or it may come in the form of social norms, in-group behavior, and the artificially-created “social norms” and “in-group behavior” manufactured by the Cultural Marxists in music, television and movies. Women have a choice of which leadership they choose. But, they seem to lack the masculine capability of analysis and description, awareness of longer-term cause and effect, and also based on this, invention of definite solutions, independent of existing norms. Without someone else to do these things, who they can follow, they are rudderless. Some women are quite intelligent, but this ability is usually channeled entirely toward the Rationalization Hamster, and also lies, manipulation, and deceit. (This is basically the Rationalization Hamster applied to others.) But along with this, women are open to suggestion. If some men start telling women what to do, and it seems to them an attractive proposition, some women will follow.
 
And so, although you can lament the present condition of women in the U.S. and the West today, unless you tell them what to do, they will not change. It is not enough to say “I don’t like this and I don’t like that.” Eliminating options and identifying problems are important steps toward figuring out What To Do, but do not create a solution in themselves. Along with this, men have to clarify what they want. Today, we lament the fact that most women today are unfit to be wives and mothers, and are frankly dangerous and destructive in those roles. And yet, we seem to like having a large supply of sluts on ready call, so we have been perhaps a little hesitant to say: don’t be sluts. Obviously, we are going to have to make some decisions here. Are you ready for a world in which women are sexually unavailable until after your wedding day?
 
Unfortunately, by focusing on analysis and description of present conditions, men are, in a way, telling women what to do. Men say that “all women are like that.” Women hear this, and, following what they are being told by men, as is their nature, behave in the manner that such men say they behave. While it is true that women certainly have the potential to be “like that,” and today that potential is reality, it is also true that, in the past, they were not like that. Just as there is “women’s nature,” there is also “men’s nature.” For example, men have the potential for domination and plunder, that we see in every gang or group of bandits, and which anthropologists have recorded in primitive human societies around the world. And yet, most men today are not like that. The difference is part of what we call: civilization.
 
Thus, I want to focus on concrete, specific solutions. For example, there is near-universal agreement that today’s laws regarding divorce, sexual assault, domestic violence and other interactions between men and women are grossly anti-male and dysfunctional today. But, you rarely hear anyone say what, then, the laws should be. If you were to change it, what would you do? In the past (before 1970), for example, divorce required either mutual consent and terms acceptable to both parties, or, for a unilateral divorce, abridgement of certain conditions, notably adultery or serious domestic violence, with evidence that would hold up in jury trial. In another example from history, divorce among the ancient Romans would result in the man keeping the children. This served as a double preventative: most women would avoid divorce if it meant being separated from her children; and also, a man looking for a younger, sexier wife would probably be handicapped by having custody of his children. This would naturally require someone to handle childcare; and what better (or cheaper) person than the children’s natural mother? At the same time, a younger, sexier women would probably not be very interested in caring for another woman’s offspring.
 
Besides not telling women what to do, men today are bizarrely, pathologically politically inactive. Men need to join together and get things done to change the laws, just as men have always done to produce any change. Look around you: who is going to do it, if not men? At the very least, men should support existing men’s rights organizations. It is true that they have been woefully ineffective. But, more money would probably help fix that. Any man who is unwilling to give $25 to an existing MRA organization deserves everything he gets. This is evidence of extreme learned helplessness. Think of it like doing political pushups. If you can’t do even one pushup, you are in bad shape my friend. Get over your learned helplessness. Give another $25 to the YouTube Redpill personality of your choice. Divorce law is State law, so eventually there will have to be an MRA organization for each state, which lobbies and informs State legislators: the Ohio Society for Men’s Rights. If all concerned men were giving $100 a year in total to the cause, there would be enough money around that other men would have the funding to establish such organizations. Unfortunately, most men cannot risk too much opprobrium, as it jeopardizes their livelihoods. Thus, we need specialists, whose livelihood is itself based on objecting to the status quo, and who can serve as professional lightning rods.
 
Men are the builders of civilization, not only in steel and concrete, but also in laws and principles. Women nurture the creations of the men of their choice. So: start building.

Breastfeeding Failure

Helen Roy writes that 75% of women in the US try to breastfeed, but give it up somewhere along the line. This is a little weird. All the other mammals breastfeed, and they do not “fail.” Today, at six months of age, only 13% of babies are exclusively breastfed.

My wife breastfed our son exclusively. He never tasted “baby formula.” He even refused, as an infant, real breast milk in a bottle. This was, not very long ago, the norm. “Baby formula” only became common in the 1960s, although there were various home recipes before then. It coincides, not surprisingly, with the spread of working mothers.

Breastfeeding is very time consuming. A mother of an infant, especially in the first few months, may have to breastfeed about every two hours, including through the night. This, in itself, is no big deal. It is what human mothers have done for millions of years. Commonly, this and other basic babycare tasks can become so demanding that basic housekeeping and cooking may be neglected. Often, family and friends may help out around the house for the first few months.

Obviously, breastfeeding and working outside the home do not go together very well — or, even working in the home, or working from home. The solution, that we promote around here, is: Don’t work. Be a stay-at-home Mom. This might mean giving up some material comforts. Women in the prehistoric past lived in tiny huts made of twigs and leaves, but they stayed home and breastfed their infants.

Are you really going to find some other, better solution? In the last fifty years of working mothers, nobody has. We have the Feminist types begging for state-funded daycare, mandatory postnatal work leave, and all the other things to make a dysfunctional system less dysfunctional. But, even if they got all their wishes, these women would soon find out that abandoning their children to be raised by the State, and depending ever more on The Corporation to be their provider, instead of a husband, has dire consequences. Why bother to have children at all. Women themselves are coming to the same conclusion, which is one reason we see fertility rates plummet far below replacement levels wherever mothers work full time.

Be a Barren Whore if you like. But, if you have children, get married first, and be a stay-at-home Mom. And, breastfeed. If you are already a stay-at-home Mom, why not?

Big Cheap Weddings

Today, a small wedding makes sense. The fact of the matter is, our wedding habits are formed from a time when nearly all the guests lived within a 20 mile radius. I suppose you could argue that 20 miles, in the old days, was still a full day’s travel, and that a five-hour flight from the East to West Coast is not much different, in terms of time and relative expense. Nevertheless, it is a lot to ask of our more distant relatives and friends to get on a plane for a wedding. When you consider not only the expense to the families of the wedding couple, but also everything spent by guests on travel, hotels, gifts, clothing (such as matching dresses for bridesmaids), and so forth, the total cost of a wedding today is completely absurd. Just stay home and send the couple $1000 via Paypal.

Once you have cut down the guest list, it is not too hard to keep overall expenses low. I would aim for less than $3000 for the wedding, all in, with about 20 guests. This is enough for a pleasant venue and a nice dinner.

But, let’s say that you want a big wedding, which we will define as 50 to 100 guests. Here is a real-world solution, which you can adjust to fit your own real-world circumstances.

Near us is a State Park that has a nice stone building, or “pavilion,” on a lake. It has tables for about 80 guests, and attached bathrooms and a kitchen. It costs $150 to rent for a day.

Let’s say that we will max out this facility at 80 guests. We will need a few things: tablecloths, dishware and glassware for 80 people. Probably, we can rent this somewhere, but actually, used high-quality dishware and glassware is so cheap these days that we can probably buy high-quality china for 80 people for less than one day’s rental fee. I would guess about $300 would do it. You might also ask guests (basically, older mothers) to bring their own quality dishware, glassware and table linens for use at the event, if they live nearby.

Ask some of the guests to do the cooking and serving. Probably, this will be older moms, accompanied by younger daughters. Other guests, who have more money than time, can be asked to provide some materials for the dinner, such as wine or necessary ingredients. Some guests can simply make a monetary contribution. A few guests offering $100 each would cover most food costs.

All in, the total cost might be around $3000 for 80 guests, which can be completely covered with wedding gifts/donations, for a net cost of $0.

Hold the wedding ceremony at the facility, or at a church.

RedPill Blogroll

SigmaFrame did a useful rundown of “red pill” bloggers. This does not include YouTube, but most of the heavy lifting is still done in long-format print. SigmaFrame lamented that the “Christian redpill,” “Marriage redpill,” and “Fatherhood and family redpill” segments are notably scarce.

I would categorize our efforts here as “Marriage RedPill” and “Fatherhood and Family redpill.” This also makes it “Christian-friendly,” although we are not really proper Christians around here.

The basic theme of this blog is “building.” It is not “analyzing the decline,” “dealing with what we have,” or even “finding solutions,” although there is a lot of that. It is more about “explaining and implementing solutions.” Or, as I put it:

Get up off your knees. (Stop complaining and acting helpless. Don’t expect women to fix the problems.)
Get your patriarchy on. (Men are builders. Women will never do it.)
Tell the Bitches What to Do. (Mostly, after Men establish their own goals or blueprints, and personal behaviors in accordance to those goals, which is an internal process, the main next step is to instruct women. Kevin Samuels is a good example of what I mean. The process of discussion itself is “telling men what to do,” but you really can’t tell men, you can just suggest.)

After reviewing the options, we around here have decided that the traditional pattern of marriage and family, found in nearly all successful advanced cultures, would be our strategy of choice. For one thing, it works. And also, history tells us that it seems to be the only thing that works. Or, there would be some example, somewhere, of some other successful system, and not just a society in degeneracy and decline. But, the basic patterns of the Christian world before 1900 were also the same in India, China, the Middle East (or Islam, which is basically Christianity 2.0) and Japan. We might make mention of polygamy, which has a long history especially in the Muslim world. This does appear to be sustainable. But, it has been noted through the centuries that this has many inherent problems. For every man with five wives, there are four men without wives. Much else leads from this.

I recommend that most men make an effort to get married and have plenty of children. I suggest a stay-at-home Wife and Mother, with homeschooling a high priority. However, this requires a woman that is capable of being a Good Wife and a Good Mother, even in today’s environment with all its corruptive influences. If you can’t find a good woman, forget it. Do not attempt to turn a Hoe into a Housewife. Let the Strong and Independent women (aka “shrews”) be Strong and Independent. Especially, Independent. Probably, this implies that only about 30% of men would marry. But, since there are still a lot of stupid men, unfit women still have a lot of options.

I have not said too much about maintaining a family and raising children. But, if you have got this far, I don’t think it will be too difficult. Mostly, girls should be expected to live at home until marriage, preferably around Age 18-20. Basically, Jane Austen. I think we can make some allowance for individual oddities. But, that should be the main pattern. Most women should have children; and, after having children, should raise them. Some women will go without marriage and children. Some women will have children, but will have others raise them, in a successful manner, which probably means private nannies, governesses and tutors, or possibly, relatives such as siblings or parents.

Today, there seems to be a bifurcation growing. I personally do not feel the need to worry about mainstream society much. My son will probably find a wife among the homeschool community. Among all the other desirable features — a debt-free virgin without tattoos — we can now add: no Covid vaxxes. This is becoming a breakaway society, which I think will intensify soon.

WifeyMaxxing

Here’s Melanie King, commenting on a video of a woman who, apparently, actually called in to Kevin Samuels’ show, and actually followed his advice. It worked!

This woman now has her own YouTube channel, RealFemSapien, where you can get some of the advice that mothers used to regularly tell their daughters, but don’t anymore.

Men can tell the Wifey women right away. Note that she wears a dress, has longish hair of a natural color, and not much makeup. She has some tattoos, left over from past error, but no noserings. But, mostly she says the right things.

Other than that, she is, perhaps, nothing special. She has an average background (lower middle class), average looks (but not fat), and, maybe, average intelligence. This is good. Average woman can be Max Wifey too, and gain all the Wifey benefits. It is not reserved to a special slice of the upper middle class.

Today, there being not so many Wifey girls out there, the few that exist have an unnatural advantage. This woman seems to have married well above her socioeconomic class.

Let’s also take note of Melanie King herself, who is a 10/10 for looks, and a 9/10 or even a 10/10 for brains. Plus, she is very Wifey-friendly. This combination puts her in the Top 1% of all American women. But, she is not actually so Wifey herself. She has more of a “doing her own thing” energy. I don’t get the impression that having a family is a priority for her, even though she encourages it for others.

Is It Really That Simple?

Today, men are in a very bad way when it comes to marriage and family law. This is exacerbated by the fact that men don’t seem to want to organize themselves to do something about it.

But, maybe there is an easy way out — just don’t get a marriage license. Do not sign that contract with the State. You can still be married. It is really that simple? Here is a recent item from the comments section that suggests that … it really is!

You Should Already Be Breastfeeding

Our baby was breastfed throughout. He never tasted artificial “formula.” Actually, as an infant, he even refused to drink breast milk from a bottle. No bottles. Straight from the source.

This was no big deal, just as it is no big deal for all the other mammalian species.

Around here, we insist on breastfeeding.

Raising Infants and Toddlers

“Baby formula” was recently called “Liquid Doritos,” and actually, that is not too far off. Here’s a list of ingredients:

Obviously, this is another advantage of the stay-at-home wife. The current ruckus over “baby formula,” and all the related arguments about “society doesn’t support mothers” etc., is really just a load of complaints about the natural and predictable consequences of working mothers. In the past, working mothers were mostly poor. Today, they are mostly feminists. They are putting their feminist agenda above the wellbeing of their children. It’s not really about babies, it’s about maintaining their feminist agenda. What, exactly, does this “support of mothers” look like? Dropping your child off at a government daycare? Maybe you should just sell your infant into slavery. Let someone else take care of it.

Men: If you are going to have a family, try to make it possible for your wife to stay at home.

No Birth Certificates

The “birth certificate” is a relatively new thing, and very sinister. Basically, you are selling your child into slavery, owned by the government. I would look into alternatives, such as a self-made document recording the day of birth, signed by witnesses.

history of birth certificates

Birth Certificate Equals Slavery Certificate

The key to this is the use of ALL CAPITAL LETTERS in the child’s name. ALL CAPITAL LETTERS is an indication of a CORPORATION, not an individual.