Women these days seem to be in lalaland. Actually, they were always in lalaland. They’re women! This is why they need men to Tell Them What To Do.

Here is a lovely woman on Lori Alexander’s blog, who quit her career as a doctor to become a stay-at-home Mom.

I am blessed to stay at home while my husband works, and I care for our 20 month old. I just turned 29.

It was always my dream to have a big family, but my parents always told me that “kids ruin your life” and “get your career and have kids later.” So wrong.

I worry now that I am 29 with one child. Am I too old to have a big family? Are three kids possible? I wish I had spent my 20s building up a family. I have so much painful regret. Please can you offer me some advice and wisdom.

Now, I could mention that here’s a woman with eight years of pre-med and medical training, with a new baby, wondering if she can have another baby at Age 29.

Okaaaay.

But, women are getting messages that can be confusing.

Can a woman get pregnant and have a healthy baby, or five, during her 30s?

Yes!

Can a woman have a family, at Age 29?

Maybe not.

If a woman is 29 (or 30, a milestone), and she is single with no prospects (a steady boyfriend likely leading to marriage), then there is a somewhat low chance that she will marry eventually, a precursor to children.

Recently, it has taken a stupid 58.7 months, on average, from first meeting to eventual marriage. This is ridiculous, but that’s the way it is. That means that the women getting married at Age 34 were actually NOT SINGLE at Age 30 (on average), but had already become a couple with the man they eventually married.

So we can see that if you are single at Age 29, your chances of marrying in time to have children (more than one) is perhaps not so hot, although the exact probabilities are debated. For example, this 1985 study of white college-educated women found that women Age 30 who were still single had only a 20% chance of getting married.

This was in the 1980s. It is so much worse now.

We saw that in the 1990s, only 42% of high-earning career women (like doctors) over 40 had children, way below the 85% rate for the Non-Hispanic White population as a whole.

So, if you are Age 29 and still single, and a college-educated career-type woman, the odds really are not so hot.

This means that you can’t just “let things happen,” because usually nothing happens.

I suggest this: tell people that “I want to have a family of six children, and be a stay-at-home Mom.”

This helps men figure out if you would want to have a family and be a stay at home Mom — which most careerist women do not.

This is actually a very different message than the typical career girl who says: “I want to get married so I can check off that box on my careerist resume,” with of course no thought to being a Stay At Home Mom. Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen? You gotta be joking!

Some guy might just step up and say: “Boy have I got a deal for you.”

Also, a woman should forget about all the cultural norms that lead to 58.7 months passing between meeting and marriage. Get it done in Six Months or pass. Maybe a year if you dawdle. Some people take a year to plan a wedding! This is nonsense. It’s just a party. Buy some good wine and have a good time.

For men, there are a lot of good women out there who would probably like an offramp from the highway of careerist childlessness. I don’t know about this woman’s “body count,” but she told Lori Alexander that she has never actually tasted an alcoholic beverage, and never took birth control.

If a woman is coming off a ten-year “hoe phase,” then pass.

Around here, we are searching for practical solutions. We leave theory mostly to others. But, we need theory to arrive at solutions that work.

Among our collection of convictions are:

That a couple should make an effort to keep The State out of their marriage, specifically by omitting any “marriage licenses” and probably retaining a legal “nonmarried” status as regards the State. However, a vague and open-ended “cohabitation” is not a good format either, in particular because it does not give enough stability for having children and raising them. In Europe there does seem to be an effective “common law marriage” that involves what we Americans would call long-term cohabitation with children.

Among Americans, there should be some ceremony of “marriage” beyond cohabitation, but that does not involve the State. Probably, there would be some kind of “marriage contract,” which we call a “prenuptial agreement” but might as well be called a “nuptial agreement,” which is probably what it was called in the past. I regard “prenuptial agreements” today as something like a Will. There is a State default process if a person dies without a Will, but it is terrible. So, any one of the middle class or higher should have the marriage equivalent of a Will, or what I am calling a Nuptial Agreement.

Mostly, we are using Nineteenth Century models around here, because they worked, and because they are still part of the cultural memory. However, it is worth looking into the foundations of this more closely. Sigma Frame did a historical review of marriage that has shown lasting worth.

Are Common Law Marriages The Most Bibilical? (June 3, 2023)

But marriages today basically live or die by “common law agreement.” A family survives because a woman is a Good Wife and a Good Mother, and does not blow up her family with cheating/divorce/nagging and all the other ways that a woman can become a pestilence to her husband and children. Yes, there are bad men too, but if we exclude those men driven to find alternatives due to intolerable wives, what percentage of marriages are failing (either through divorce or continued misery) primarily due to men’s fault? I think it is not many, especially among those with a bachelors’ degree, where women initiate 90% of divorces.

This video and article is good, but the comments section is amazing! I learned something.

From Germania, 98 AD, by Roman historian Tacitus.

Some goodies from the Twitternet.

What occupation had the greatest percentage of Trump supporters?

This reinforces the data that the Democratic Party basically exists due to Single women and Working Moms (Feminists).

In the past, women didn’t need to vote. Their Men voted for them — either their Fathers, or, after marriage, their Husbands.

Fraction in US married by Age 38-42:

Higher incomes get more married, but have fewer children, until over $500K:

Conclusions:

Make some dough.

Get Married.

Stay at home Moms.

Lots of children.

Vote for politicians that share your values.

If you are married, you wear a ring to show that you are not available or looking.

If you are engaged, you wear a ring to show that you are not available or looking.

If you weren’t engaged or married, you were available and looking. There were no “relationships.”

Unfortunately, things are a little more complicated now — needlessly complicated. Thus, some people have been experimenting with new rings that show you are available and looking.

https://pearring.co/en-us

There are also lavender rings to show that you are LGBTQ+++++. Kinda like: “I’m radioactive.” Works for me.

I don’t like the plasticky green look much, but one problem with other ring schemes (including “purity rings”) is that they can be hard to distinguish from regular wedding rings, and subtleties like “it’s on a different finger” are lost in real life.

Men — OK, men over 40 — are always thinking about the Roman Empire.

This is because: Men are the builders of civilization.

Why is it that, for 500 years after the Renaissance, college education consisted of:

Learning Greek and Latin

Reading big books in the original Greek and Latin

???

Books like the histories of Polybius, Livy and Tacitus.

Books like The Commentaries of Julius Caesar, or the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius.

Two of the greatest leaders of Rome actually wrote books, and you can read them!

Women never think about the Roman Empire.

This is because: Matriarchy Does Not Exist.

Women think about: Cats, Baby Yoda, and other things that resemble human infants.

Nothing wrong with that.

Wife: how often do you think about the Roman Empire?

me: everyday 😂

This wife explain why 👇

#RomanEmpire #ThingsNobodySaidInThe1980s #Aliens pic.twitter.com/oFQyt03Wbe

— Laugh Alchemy (@LaughAlchemy) September 14, 2023

A wedding engagement is a big deal. We often mark this event with a ring. But, do we really need to make DeBeers wealthy by buying diamond rings? DeBeers created this tradition with the power of advertising, in the 1930s. After all, the appeal of diamonds is, in part, that the girl can go cash it in when the engagement/wedding/marriage goes south. “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” If you are going to get married, and stay married, what do you need a diamond for?

Rich people can do whatever they want. But us normal, not-rich people, especially people in their twenties who might be rich in the future but not right now, should keep wedding expenses low. How about a silver engagement ring? It makes sense that, if we mark a wedding with a gold ring, then we might use cheaper but still precious silver to mark an engagement.

You can buy a Sterling Silver engagement ring, perfectly acceptable, on Amazon for $12.

Any decent sort of girl should be happy about this, since it is the marriage, not the diamond, that is the valuable part.

If your girlfriends give you shade for your cheap-ass future husband, tell them either:

A) At least I’m getting married, ha sucks to be you; or:

B) We took the money and bought a new car.

If your girl complains, maybe she always was a gold-digger — or, a diamond-digger.

This woman doesn’t say that she was a virgin at marriage but … what do you think?

Men: This is what you want.

Unfortunately, young men are often not taught how to keep house properly. They tend to be very messy. Often, men pass Age 30 without learning to keep house at a decent standard. This is stupid. Housekeeping is not that hard. Learn how to do it, and do it right. Then, go off and do something fun, like snowboarding.

If you live somewhere, and your Mom isn’t taking care of it, then you have to do basic housekeeping. Mostly, young men do this very badly. Eventually, they learn how to do it. Over time, typically many years, men eventually learn that it is worth spending a little extra time per week doing basic household chores, so that you live in a nice clean place. You do not have to spend a lot of time at it. Maybe three hours per week is about right. Just pick one or two evenings per week, and get it done, and done properly.

Sometimes men learn this, at an early age, in the military. The military demands that men keep their living spaces clean. But, most men do not learn this from the military.

If you live apart from your Mother, let’s say at Age 18 as a college student, then you should begin, immediately, to learn basic housekeeping tasks. These include:

Do the Laundry. Do the laundry about once a week. Fold your clothes and put them away properly. Iron if you have to. Do not let dirty laundry pile up. Do not wear dirty laundry because you have no clean clothes. Do not dump your clean laundry in a corner, and just pick things out of the pile as you need them, instead of folding them and putting them away. Along with your clothes, wash other household linens such as towels, sheets and napkins once a week. Wash your sheets at least once a week, or maybe more often. Bath towels should be washed at least once a week. Hand towels, in the kitchen or bathroom, should be changed every day.

Make your bed. Make your bed each morning after you get up. Change the sheets at least once a week, or more (especially if you have guests). Have a nice bed — nice sheets, comforters, pillows etc. This stuff is cheap so there’s no reason to have crappy, ugly stuff. Go to a store like HomeGoods.

Take a shower. Take a shower at least once a day. Maybe more than once, especially if you have been doing dirty or sweaty work.

Clean the bathroom. Bathrooms should be cleaned at least once a week. Wipe down the sinks, counters, toilet, floors, mirrors etc. with a sponge. Use rubber gloves. Toilets should be cleaned every day, but at least once a week. Hand towels should be changed every day.

Clean the Kitchen. Kitchens should be cleaned every day. Every day, before going to bed, the kitchen should be ready for the next day. Dishes should be washed. Sinks, counters and tables should be wiped down. Use rubber gloves. Sweep and mop the floor at least once a week, or every day if you are cooking often. Wipe down the stove and stovetop at least once a week, or every day. Don’t let old/rotten food build up in the refrigerator.

Clean the other rooms. Living rooms, halls, bedrooms etc. should be vacuumed once a week. Don’t let clutter build up. Put things away. Dusting is actually a thing. Dust builds up on horizontal surfaces, such as the tops of dressers or bookshelves, lamp shades etc. Wipe off the dust with a damp cloth once a month, or more if necessary. Clean out “cobwebs” that can collect in corners. These are actually strings of dust, they are not made by spiders.

Take care of the yard. If you have a yard, you have to take care of it. If you really don’t want to spend your time dinking around in the yard, and would rather go fishing, then don’t have a yard. Look for an apartment or townhouse where you don’t have a yard to take care of. But, if you have a yard, then you have to do minimal care of it. This might be raking and mowing.

Do basic maintenance. Little things need to be taken care of all the time. Apparently, a lot of ill-disciplined people can’t even manage to change the batteries in their fire alarms, and they live for years with the “needs batteries” chirping. Replace light bulbs that go out. Do it right away. Don’t just leave burned-out light bulbs for weeks, months or years.

That’s it. Just learn how to do this right away, at the age of 18 or 20. It takes time and effort, but it is only about three hours a week. Purchase the necessary materials if you have to. Brooms, vacuum cleaners, buckets, sponges etc. are cheap so get something good that works well and is a joy to use. Use rubber gloves, while washing dishes or cleaning. We buy “kitchen rags” from Walmart. These are sold as cheap cotton washcloths, less than $1 each, but we use them as all-purpose cleaning rags. Just get into the habit of doing it, and doing it properly with no sloppiness or slacking off, and then go do what you really want to do.