You wouldn’t think there would be any need to write a Guide to Sex. All the animals do it, without having to read about it beforehand. But, it seems that a lot of men today don’t know how to do it, or at least, how to do it well enough.
I went to a private boarding school for high school (actually, one year of high school). During that time, there was a speaker on the topic of sex. The audience was the 250 or so male and female students, age 14-18, plus about 60 faculty and spouses.
The speaker asked a question: Who is capable of more orgasms, men or women?
I raised my hand. Everybody knows that women have more fun. Even me, who had never actually done it, at that time.
There was one other woman who raised her hand, the wife of a faculty member. Then she looked around, and seeing that nobody else had their hand up (including her husband, sitting next to her), except for me (who was sitting directly behind so she couldn’t see me), she sort of put it down again. I kept my hand up. Why, I don’t know.
And so, whether from hearsay (most students) or experience (faculty), people seemed to think that men have more fun during sex.
Today, we hear about the orgasm deficit. Rather than having much more fun than men, women seem to be having much less. I have heard promiscuous women say that about 10% of men are good at sex. I think she means — not bad. In other words: not that 10% of men are in the top 10%, but that only 10% of men meet some kind of minimum standard of non-disappointment.
The speaker’s opinion was that women had more fun, since they were capable of multiple orgasms. The world record for the most orgasms in an hour is: 134. Plus, women’s orgasms can be longer and more intense.
That is a big number, but in my (later) experience, it was common for a woman to have ten or more orgasms during a “session,” and there are sometimes multiple “sessions.” This didn’t happen all the time, or most of the time, but it did happen. I think it could happen with nearly all women, given enough time together.
This is a lot of fun, for men and for women.
There is no special technique to this, or at least nothing that I am going to go into now, but there are a few basic guidelines. There are certain roles to play: the man’s role is to make the woman have a good time, and the woman’s role is to have a good time. The man is somewhat active; the woman somewhat passive. The man takes the lead, and the woman follows. If you look at the basic roles of formal dancing, it is much the same. The man always “leads” in dancing, but doesn’t the woman have most of the fun?
The man gets her off; she can’t really get off without his help.
The woman’s role is to have a good time. This is something of an internal process. It is external for the man. He does to another. For a woman, it is more of an internal experience. (This is exactly analogous to the process of conception itself.) If a woman doesn’t know what else to do — if she has no experience in these matters — she can just lie quietly on the bed and let the man have his way with her. I don’t mean that she continues to lie quietly, but rather, that she responds to his stimulus.
The process of learning, internally, how to have a good time can take a while for a woman. Probably, weeks or months.
The woman is attentive to her internal state. The man should be attentive to … the woman’s internal state. This is apparent usually from her breath, voice, movements, etc. You can think of playing her like a musical instrument. Be creative and artistic. Don’t just pound on the keys with your fists. If it’s not working, try something else.
A woman should make at least a little noise, so the man can be aware of her internal state. Women do this naturally, but some women suppress this, presumably because they don’t want other people to hear. Screaming is OK. Although the man is paying attention to the woman’s state, nevertheless he must Be The Big Boss, and take charge.
I think that most women can become “very responsive.” It usually takes some time to get there. She has to practice a little bit. There are some women who feel nothing at all. But, I think that is on purpose: they don’t want to feel anything. If they change their mind about that, they could eventually remedy the problem. For men, I think it helps if you simply are aware that this is what you are doing. It is a sort of attitude. For one thing, you don’t just stop after one. You aren’t going to get to two if you stop at one. Just keep going, perhaps with a rise and fall of intensity. Also, don’t assume that a woman’s orgasm is as long as a man’s — perhaps, ten seconds. Just keep going. Eventually, she will sort of run out of energy, and things will come to a natural conclusion. Maybe it will be 20-30 seconds. But, she might be ready again in a couple minutes.
Sometimes women will actually say: “Don’t stop!” For some reason, when men hear this, they stop. Other times, if it gets really intense, a woman may say: “Stop!” Obviously, don’t stop. Just push her over the cliff. She will thank you later, when she regains the power of speech.
Usually, men find this whole process very satisfying. But, perhaps you are disappointed that men don’t have the same kind of fun that women do. The Tantric people say that men can do this. Men can train themselves to separate ejaculation from the orgasmic response, and have orgasms like women. But, this is certainly rare.
There was a popular book in the 1980s, the One Hour Orgasm. Actually, they mean a series of rising and falling orgasms, over a period that, with practice, can reach up to an hour. It is not a bad place to start. Yes, I tried it. It worked.