Online Dating

This was an interesting representation of one woman’s experience with Online Dating. Probably, she is somewhat average — not exceptional.

There are some interesting elements here.

First, she swiped right on only 582 out of 15094 men, over a period of six months. That’s 4%. And, Tinder itself probably screened out a lot of the less-appropriate men. Of course, all the other women are also choosing the same 4% of men, or maybe 10% if we allow for a little difference of age and opinion. Then came the reverse-screening. Out of 582 men, 411 (71%) did not either match or begin chatting with her. Apparently, these 4% of men can be choosy. Out of this came 171 chats and 54 dates (0.4%). Is that what women mean by “high standards”? That’s about one new chat partner a day, and a date every three days. Out of this, she got 37 rounds of “casual sex” (every five days) and zero relationships. Does this mean that she never saw even one of these 37 men a second time? Or, maybe she did. It doesn’t sound very healthy either way. Were there any dates, that didn’t lead to sex on the first date, but led to a second date? Were there any second dates at all? Was she hooking up again with her prior hookups, on top of all these new hookups? This does not include all the other things this woman was doing during those six months, including: Work/school connections, bars and clubs, parties, business trips, foreign travel, daytime approaches, other dating apps, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, etc. That is a full schedule of whoring.

But, at the same time, we see a lot of selectivity. If she was just interested in casual sex, would only 4% of men do? And only 0.4% that led to actual in-person meetings? Is this what women mean by “I know my worth”? You would think it wouldn’t matter that much. Wouldn’t it at least save a little time and effort if you had a regular FWB rather than starting from scratch again? At least, you could practice together a little bit, and get better at sex, which is often rather bad on the first encounter. Did she hope for a FWB (har!), but was not able to accomplish that? Did she hope for a “relationship”? If she did, that would be pretty crazy, since she should have figured out before #37 that her strategy wasn’t working. Probably, like a lot of women, she would claim that she was “seeking a relationship” this whole time, and actually sort of believed that, although her behavior shows no real attempt to accomplish that.

Obviously, you can’t marry, or even have a “relationship” with, some burned out slag heap like this. And, a lot of women probably have a similar background these days.

Women: What strategy do you have, exactly, to avoid a similar outcome? Or, maybe this is OK with you? Good luck with that.