Advice For Girls #2: How To Get Married

As I described in our previous post, young women should have children during their peak childbearing years, 18-32 — that is, they should have their last children no later than around age 32, not their first. To do this, they should get married at age 16-25, with an ideal around 18-20.

How is our young woman to get married?

Obviously, you have to find a man who is both willing to marry you, and attractive in some way — basically, you want to marry him. This is commonly a combination of looks, character, and wealth/income/status.

This probably doesn’t sound very complicated, but note that these requirements eliminate a large number of men from the outset. For example:

Men that will have sex with you, but don’t want to marry you.
Men that are good looking, but do not have the means to support a family.
Men that can support a family, but are unattractive to you.
Men who are of a lower socioeconomic class than you aspire to.

And so forth. Do not spend any time at all on these men. Avoid them. Typically, a man that is both willing to marry and able to support a family will be 3-15 years older, age 21-35. While it is OK for a woman to have some ambitions in these matters, at the same time, a woman must not price herself out of the market, and end up with nothing at all. Today, it is common for a woman to state that she wants a man that is over six feet tall. We all have preferences, but men find it bizarre that this be put forth as a requirement. Only about 15% of men are over six feet tall, and not all these men are attractive or have a high socioeconomic status. Tom Cruise, the actor, is 5’8″. If we then “require” that our six-foot-plus man be in the top 30% in terms of physical attractiveness, and be in the top 20% in terms of income (for their age group — the highest-earning men are typically in their fifties), we are left with 15%*30%*20%=0.9% of men. These men can be choosy; and, since they can only marry 0.9% of the women, these women they marry will themselves generally be in the top 1% of women. (But, no matter how many generations go by, it seems that this level of rational calculation is beyond women’s abilities.)

Also, since we are not having sex before marriage, we also need men that will marry you without having sex with you first. This might seem impossible today, but I don’t think it is so difficult. If a man is looking for a wife, it is not so important if you do not have sex before marriage, because you will get married soon and then you can have all the sex you want; or, perhaps you will go your separate ways. It is only important if a man has no immediate interest in marrying you.

This process of deciding whether to marry is known as “courtship.” It is not the same as “dating.” The “courtship” process takes place when a woman who wants to get married (you) meets with men who want to get married, to decide if they want to marry each other. If you have a woman that doesn’t particularly want to get married immediately, or a man that doesn’t particularly want to get married immediately (either or both), but you just want to spend some pleasant time together, then you are “dating,” which obviously is not going to lead to marriage because nobody wants that to happen.

“Dating” is a waste of time for a woman who wants to get married, because obviously it does not lead to marriage.

The “courtship” process does not take very long, because it is usually not too hard to determine one way or the other in not very much time. I would say about three months is enough. It could be three days. “Courtship” results in an “engagement,” and it does not take too long for engagements to lead to marriage.

However, during this “courtship” process, you can certainly go have a nice dinner with one of your suitors if you like. In other words, you can go on a date. But, no sex. No kissing, even. We should also not rule out “socializing,” men and women spending time together in a friendly noncommittal way, in a group or in a pair. This is often a necessary early step toward a more serious process of “courtship.” Parties and dances are forms of “socializing,” and there are more informal forms as well.

This might seem complicated, but it basically means “no boyfriends.” The “courtship” process does not produce boyfriends. There is no “pairing” or exclusivity of this sort until marriage itself, or perhaps engagement. Thus, even if you may have a favored suitor, you can see other suitors until the point that you get engaged. If a suitor doesn’t like the fact that you are seeing other suitors, then let him know what he can do about it.

Since nearly everyone is “dating” these days, it is worthwhile to state your intentions upfront. Just say: “I am looking for a husband to marry soon, I am a virgin, and I will not have sex before marriage.” If you put a description like this on Match.com, you would eliminate 98% of all men, but the 2% that remained would probably be pretty interesting. I think most men would appreciate it. Smart men would recognize that these are advantages in a potential wife; smart men tend to make attractive husbands; and smart men know that, if they are going to marry (as nearly all men do), they should marry deliberately, rather than blundering into it.

You actually have a lot on your side. While all the other party bitches are wasting their youth on sluttery with no intentions to marry, you are out there snatching up the best men; or, at least, one of the best men. The other women only get serious when they are around age 30, and by then they have huge disadvantages — not only age, but a sordid sexual history and a decade of feminist brainwashing.

During the courtship process, it is good to state what sort of marriage you would like to have. Some of the big things are: how many children (roughly), when you want to have children (soon), whether you want to be a stay-at-home mother (yes), whether you would like to homeschool, your religious preferences (or perhaps it is not so important for you), and so forth.

Dalrock has a lot of advice regarding finding a spouse here.

Published by proprietor

Happily married, with children.

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