Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky said that his secret was to “skate to where the puck is going.” If you want to get married, just plan on being a wife — specifically, a Good Wife and Good Mother. If you do that, getting married should be easy.

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“I want to get married.”

“Yeah, you and all the other worn-out whores, who figure out around Age 28 that they don’t want to whore around forever. Not gonna happen, babe.”

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“I am going to be a good wife and mother.”

“Well, I am not going to let you do that with some other guy.”

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Plus, she looks like this:

Get it?

27 is not too old to have a child, but it would be nice if a woman already planning on motherhood at 17 should not have to wait a decade to get it going. Probably, she met the man she would eventually marry around Age 20, passed the 58 months it now takes, on average, for a couple to get to the marriage day, and then got to baby-making soon afterwards. In past days, she would have met her man at Age 20 (or earlier), and had a child at Age 21.

“Peachy Keenan” — presumably, not the name her mother gave her — was talking about how to become “marriage material” at americanmind.org.

Mostly, it is good advice.

Why can’t young men find suitable brides?

You know why. Fifty years of feminism has had its way with two generations of American women, with predictable results. Throw in the eager pharmaceutical market, social celebration of “sex work,” the pornification of entertainment, successful destruction of “devoted wife” and “loving mother” as attractive careers for girls, and finally, the dismantling of “human female” as a real and separate gender—and well, here we are. …

Fortunately, there are many eligible young men who have ducked and dodged the incoming cultural shrapnel that has stripped so many others of their agency and masculinity and their confidence and even their gonads. These brave souls made it to adulthood with their appendages attached and sanity intact.

Now they are in want of a wife. But that’s the problem: “wife.” What’s that? Most girls are no longer raised to be wives. Not since Target started selling Girls Rule t-shirts for toddlers, at least. “How to be a wife” is now an archaic skill set one must seek out on trad-minded blogs.

“How to be a wife” is not something anyone really ever even thinks about, until it’s too late.

OK, good, but her advice is not quite thinking about “how to be a good wife,” it is more along the lines of, “how to appear marriageable,” which is not quite the same thing.

Still, before a woman can learn, or study, how to be a Good Wife and a Good Mother, she has to begin by thinking that such a thing should be done.

Stop thinking of marriage as an end. It is a beginning. Life is extremely short so it’s best to get the good part started as early as you can. When you find the guy, remember that it’s not about what he owes you, or what he’s “done for you lately.” Forge something new as a team. Don’t waste another second on losers who don’t value you. Life can be difficult. Once in a while it can get so tough that you won’t know how to keep going. You’re going to need a loyal partner in that foxhole with you. Someone pulling for you. Someone ready to jump on the grenade.

There are a lot of ways to learn how to be a Good Wife. My favorite place to start is Fascinating Womanhood, by Helen Andelin. There are many other good resources, but read this first, and then you have something to compare to. An updated, contemporized version is now out, but I like the original, because of all the cultural quirks of that time which now seem antiquarian. It relates a time (the 1960s) when whoredom among women was still unusual; when most women became housewives even though feminism was spreading; and when young people dressed like this:

It was a high point of American history.

For a similar reason, you can learn a lot from the books of Jane Austen, precisely because they relate a certain time, place and social circle, with characteristics that seem almost untouchable now but perhaps we could aspire to.

Megan Fox, Hollywood dream babe, former “Sexiest Woman in the World.”

I had to convince him that I was slightly more responsible and well-spoken and had other things to bring to the table besides being 18.

Every other woman:

I Am the Table.

She got married, and had three children.

“Now just sit right there and let me tell you all the things I bring to the table.”

This is an interesting item by Helen Roy. And since Helen is a TradBabe (that is, she has options), and also a wife and new mother (don’t take advice from single women), and of the BigBrain subcategory, it has something worthwhile in it I think.

This is the basic landscape of dating in Hell World 2021, and most people in their courtship years are lonely, depressed, and frustrated by the whole thing. In seeking their political mirror image in women, conservative men see no one. In calling themselves conservative, no one seeks them. So, what can be done? …

An implicit spiritual nationalism would take men much further in life and love without requiring them to explain their positions to women. Men must become the leaders on a personal and cultural level that they wish to see in the world, and should stop talking to women about politics in the way that most people understand politics (look what Nancy Pelosi said, etc). The men I’m talking to and about must turn their focus instead to the concrete aspects of life. Be builders. Build your body, your home, your garden, new networks, and business.

Women will inhabit the spaces that men build. By the same token, they will burn down a dilapidated house with you in it, especially if your only response to the crumbling walls is to whine, “Look at these crumbling walls! Imagine if our termites infested the neighbor’s house. Their walls would crumble harder.” Conservatives are the guys screaming at the crumbling walls. Parasites are more appealing by comparison.

If you actually start building a local world with high standards and natural hierarchies that you don’t have to languish at the bottom of, you will strengthen yourself spiritually, socially, and physically. This is what women want. …

So, again, we must transcend the superficial political order. The woman you’re looking for probably isn’t a tattoo-free, debt-free virgin, and she probably isn’t a policy wonk, either. That is to say, she may not be precisely like-minded. She may have some baggage. She may accept politically what her friends and employers compel her to. That’s actually probably okay for now, so long as the following is true. The real signal of a woman with the capacity to submit to a mission against the modern world is not political—it’s a vibe. Cultivate the eye for the Eternal Feminine (sweetness, softness, warmth, playfulness) above all. The true enemy of modernity is this essential, transcendent kindness, loveliness, and grace—not necessarily a shrewd financial sense. Of course, be prudent. Sexual and financial history matters. But do not be so prudent that you disqualify everyone with a past. Never forget that redemption and reconciliation is available to us all. Practically speaking, if you are building something good, she will follow, and eventually be convinced of the rest.

The only hope for women, socially submissive creatures, to recover en masse from the quiet tragedy of the modern world, is for men to seriously strike out on their own from the system that rewards women for dominating them. By freeing themselves from the oppressive bourgeois expectations of normie political life, men free women in turn to become who they are. This will be a self-evident reward in itself. In other words, it will become an attractive choice to the right women.

In practical terms, I see something like this:

Men, in dealing with the flaming rubble of today, have had two basic approaches:

1. Adapt to the flaming rubble. Become King of Bartertown. Basically, this means: have six girlfriends in rotation, each of which you can dispose of quickly, if necessary.
2. Check out of the flaming rubble. Go your own way. It’s the best way not to get burned. No “relationships” and no marriage. Don’t waste enormous amounts of time, energy and resources on women who will never amount to more than yesterday’s pussy and today’s STDs. The only thing that lasts is the problems they create. Enjoy your time with your guy friends. It’s the only pleasure you will find in this hellscape. Bros over Hoes. Put your head down and work, and you can probably retire by 45.

Those trying to “conserve” marriage and family have tended to default to: “Wife up those worn-out whores and single moms with a passel of thugspawn.” This was tried for about 20 years, and didn’t work. There is going to have to be a period of triage, where those women who are not capable of serving in the role of a Good Wife and a Good Mother, who are Unfit for Marriage, do not get married.

There has been a lot of interesting analysis over the past ten years, which is ongoing. TikTok has become a grand new source of raw insight into the female mind, and it has been making people queasy anew, even those who thought they had some understanding of today’s depravity.

What I think Helen is getting at is:

1. Get up off your knees.
2. Get your Patriarchy on. Anthropologists say that they have never found any conclusive evidence of a matriarchal society in all of human history, at any time or any place. There are only strong patriarchies (male leadership), weak patriarchies, or ashes.
3. Tell the Bitches What To Do.

Women, as Helen Roy relates, are conformists. They take the shape of their “container.” You have to give them something to conform to. You have to give them something to participate in. They can decide if they want to be part of your deal. Many won’t, but some will.

If you give them the Player/MGTOW spectrum, which is a lot of the Manosphere these days, and look at it as something to participate in or conform to — rather than a masculine strategy for dealing with a world of dysfunction — a woman would conclude:

1: I should be part of a harem, and conform myself to those expectations. I will have to support myself (this is not Polygamy), and then maybe get as much time with a Top Guy as I can manage.

2: These guys are telling me to leave them alone, so I will leave them alone. I will have to support myself. Maybe we will get together from time to time to relieve sexual tension, but don’t expect anything more.

This will conflict with their natural baby/nurturing instincts, eventually driving them crazy, soon followed by wine and prescription meds.

So, if anything is to be done, some men (not all) will have to provide a concrete, specific plan that a woman can participate in and conform to.

But, these women, not yet conforming to anything, are not naturally in the shape of Your Deal. There are a few TradBabes of the highest caliber, who do understand these things, and are not Fugly. But, not enough to go around. And, you will have to look hard for them. They are not on Tinder, or Instagram, or at the bar, club, or supermarket. They seem to be on Twitter. Among the rest of them, there are a few that might have a tattoo, and some debt, and been poked a few times, but are still capable of being a part of Your Deal, in a productive fashion, without strewing chaos and destruction everywhere.

But, those men who will take up the challenge, will have to “build.” What does this mean? Build a building? Mostly, it means The Word and The Law. It means making structures in your mind — or, Frame.

This is “The Children’s Song,” from Puck of Pook’s Hill (1906), by Rudyard Kipling. In 1906, Britain was still Champion of the World. This is what people teach their children, when a nation is at its best.

Land of our Birth, we pledge to thee
Our love and toil in the years to be;
When we are grown and take our place
As men and women with our race.

Father in Heaven who lovest all,
Oh, help Thy children when they call;
That they may build from age to age
An undefiled heritage.

Teach us to bear the yoke in youth,
With steadfastness and careful truth;
That, in our time, Thy Grace may give
The Truth whereby the Nations live.

Teach us to rule ourselves alway,
Controlled and cleanly night and day;
That we may bring, if need arise,
No maimed or worthless sacrifice.

Teach us to look in all our ends
On Thee for judge, and not our friends;
That we, with Thee, may walk uncowed
By fear or favour of the crowd.

Teach us the Strength that cannot seek,
By deed or thought, to hurt the weak;
That, under Thee, we may possess
Man’s strength to comfort man’s distress.

Teach us Delight in simple things,
And Mirth that has no bitter springs;
Forgiveness free of evil done,
And Love to all men ’neath the sun!

Land of our Birth, our faith, our pride,
For whose dear sake our fathers died;
Oh, Motherland, we pledge to thee
Head, heart and hand through the years to be!

When I want some inspiration for something to write about, I often turn to Lori Alexander at the Transformed Wife. Recently, she talked about women’s unrealistic expectations.

Too many women these days carry a burden they were never meant to carry. All of their lives, they are told they can be and do whatever they want to do. They can be an astronaut, be a CEO, or even become President. “Yes, young women, go get your college degrees and maybe a master’s or doctorate, then pursue a career. Work five days a week away from home. Forget about having a family or if you have one, forget being with them often. Your worth is far more important than being a wife and mother!”

This is why women view being a wife and mother as drudgery. They’ve been programmed their entire lives to not be a wife and mother. If they are wives and mothers, they feel like they’re missing out on something grand.

First, practical advice:

A lot of a mother’s duties are something like drudgery — to which I say: cut back on the drudgery. Today, things like laundry and cleaning don’t take much time, unless you insist on stretching it out by 4x-5x, as many women seem to do. The big drudgery today is: Chauffeuring. If it is too much, try to find a way to reduce it. Leave time unscheduled, and just kick the kids out of the house until the street lights come on.

But, then there is this idea that a woman should be doing something else instead of, or in addition to, being a wife and mother. Today, they are supposed to start their own companies, or something like that. In the past, in the 1950s, a common fantasy for housewives was: to become a professional ballet dancer.

No, seriously.

Marie Robinson was a professional therapist for women, who heard this stuff a lot in the 1950s. In The Power of Sexual Surrender (1959), she wrote:

Women who suffer from frigidity often have, in addition to negative feelings toward the male sex, another very marked characteristic. They are subject to powerful fantasies which militate against the recovery of their lost sexuality and their psychological maturation. It is extremely important that these fantasies be ruthlessly explored and exploded. If they are not, they serve the unhappy function of preserving the unhealthy conviction that one deserves a far better fate than that of being a beloved wife and mother.

Such fantasies are often half hidden from view, just as are one’s negative feelings about men. They are daydreams left over from adolescence or earlier. Their destructive power derives from the fact that the daydreamer either still believes that the dreams are realizable or that she could have achieved them if her husband and family had not prevented her from doing so.

It is amazing how powerful and persistent these fantasies can be. They generally spring from an early desire to become an actress, a dancer, or a concert artist However, they may also express wishes to become a doctor, lawyer, athlete, diplomat, or whatever. Their impossible, Walter-Mittyish character is blithely ignored by the daydreamer. I have had frigid women of forty and even fifty, who, just beneath the logical, sound surface of their minds, still believed that someday (tomorrow perhaps, next year certainly) they would go to acting school and soon obtain leading roles in a Broadway drama, or resume their piano lessons and become famous concert artists.

Such fantasies derive their power from the fact that the daydreamer feels unable to deal with reality. Since a woman who is frigid is dealing with her real-life situation in an inadequate manner, it is not strange that she should hold onto such fantasies with passion. They protect her from her feelings of inferiority. What matter, says her unconscious mind, if you are unable to love; what matter if your husband exploits you, attempts to enslave you. Tomorrow—someday, at any rate—you will show them all that you are beautiful, glamorous, a great performer, or doctor, or lawyer, or Indian chief. …

Most people, realizing that such daydreams, formed in the heat of youth, have no function in reality, have long ago given them up in favor of living as passionately as possible in the present.

The frigid woman, however, having a reason for keeping them alive, has never scrutinized them in the cold light of rationality. I know of one woman who, at the age of thirty-eight, with three children under fifteen years of age, still felt she could become a dancer. As she looked more closely at this conviction she became increasingly surprised at how seriously she really took this fantasy. At length, when she felt really ready to face sacrificing her lifelong fantasy, she wrote a list of facts and questions. I present them here.

1. To become a dancer I would have to study the dance for a minimum of five years; during that time I would have to practice dancing for about eight hours a day. Could I take this discipline?

2. If my mind were able to take such discipline would my body be able to stand up under such arduous work?

3. If I were able to arrange it would I be willing to give up my daily contact and relationship with my three children?

4. If I overcame every obstacle and became a well-known dancer, achieving my wildest dream of success, I would have to go on tour for at least eight months of the year; this would mean separation from my husband and children during that time. Do I want this? Even if I do, could I take it emotionally?

Where did this come from? Probably, a lot of women were trained in ballet and piano as girls. They may have gone to college, but in those days, it was expected that a woman going to college was going to find a husband there, or soon afterwards, so they didn’t have so many CEO fantasies. Today, a young woman is given all kinds of male-life-track advice, which conflicts with motherhood and family. College today is a step toward a career for women, not a place to find a husband on track to a career.

Then as now, women seem to have had little ability to make any rational sense of these things they were told. They were just told what to do, and they did it.

This is ridiculous, and an improper use of the term “the Wall,” but, as before, let me explain what is going on here.

Let’s say you wanted to marry a virgin — for the very good reason that virgins tend to make good wives.

To that we can add some other preferences: No Tattoos, and No Debt, and Not Fugly.

All that you really need to do, as a 21-year-old, to Not Be Fugly is to Not Be Fat, and make a little effort at beautification. But, that still excludes about 30% of 22-year-olds, we could say (some would say higher than that).

About 60% of women are virgins when they begin college. About 20% are when they graduate. So, of all the women among the better sort of society, here those that to go college, two-thirds of all the virgins are gone by Age 22. You are left with just 20%. And, if you also cut out those with tattoos (not many virgins), debt (many), and Fugly (about 30%), already you have only a small percentage of women left.

Some women who don’t attend college were nevertheless raised well, and make good wives. Some women who go to college (it seems to be about 10%) are horrid sluts. But, overall, this is a good measure.

Let’s look back women who got married after 1970, when No Fault Divorce and related anti-male legal changes incentivized Divorce for Cash and Prizes, and see which women made good wives. I don’t mean that they “could” make good wives, but that, at the end of their lifetime, their husbands could say: “She was a good wife.” They actually made good wives. I guess this is about 20% of all women who were married. Before 1910, I would guess that about 70% of women made good wives — as it turns out, about the percentage today of virgins who make good wives.

Of those women of the past 50 years, who made good wives, most of them were gone by Age 22. They might not have been married yet (although many were), but they had already begun a monogamous relationship with the man that they eventually married. A few began a long-term monogamous relationship with a man that they didn’t marry, and then quickly got married to someone else. Either way, they are no longer single. So, now we are looking for Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos that are also Not Fugly and Single. This might not seem like it is asking very much. Probably 70% of all sixteen-year-olds, of the better sort of society who eventually attend college, meet these criteria. But, by Age 22, it is perhaps 3% of all women who attended college (and less than that for women as a whole).

So, between Age 16 and Age 22, we went from 70% to 3%. If you want to have any success in this, you have to look at Age 16-21 — the 70% — not the 3%.

In the old days, before “Dating,” or before 1910, when young women lived at their father’s house before marriage, in the better sort of society, probably 90% of single women Age 22 were Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos, and not Fugly either. In those days, 22 was not too old.

A woman can be a good student, a good daughter, a good employee, a good friend, a good neighbor and a good citizen. Even, a good girlfriend. But, if she is not a Good Wife, then she has nothing to offer to a man who is interested in having a family. A woman that can’t, or won’t, be a Good Wife, should not become a wife, and no man should marry her. The consequences of marrying a Bad Wife are horrid.

It is not enough only to be a Good Wife. You also have to be a Good Mother. There isn’t much reason to get married, if you aren’t going to have children. And, if you are going to have children, you should get married first. So, being a Good Wife and a Good Mother go together. If you can’t do it, then just go be a Good Employee and a Good Neighbor, and forget about marriage and family. Let your life provide some sort of benefit to others — your employer and neighbors — and don’t stray outside your circle of competence.

Marriage.com actually has some good material. Here is “20 Qualities of a Good Wife,” by Rachael Pace. These are things that a woman does, of benefit to her husband and family. Guess what — not one of them is: “I Am the Table.”

Read: “20 Qualities of a Good Wife”

The last thing a man wants to hear when he gets home from work is all the other things he is expected to do — taking care of this, and fixing that. This can very easily degenerate into nagging, which does nobody any good. If they could, men would take their nagging wives, tie them in a sack, and throw them in the river. Many men conclude that they are better off doing almost anything else rather than being at home with a nagging bitch. They may become workaholics.

Nevertheless, one duty of a woman is to inform her husband of the things around the house that need attention. He might say: Take care of it yourself. Or, he might say: Hire someone to do it. He might do it himself, when he is in the mood to do so. Or, he might ignore it completely, considering it something not of high enough priority to bother with, compared to going fishing.

That’s his business. Your business is only to inform him of the issue. Sometimes, women might think that maybe he forgot about something. Probably not, but since it hasn’t been done yet, this is a reasonable conclusion. One solution is just to write things down, on a centralized list of things that deserve attention. Once it is written down, you don’t have to worry about whether he remembered. Mention it once and forget about it. It is now his problem.

The way it was in London, 1909.

Fuck yeah he doesn’t. That is your job, not his. Are you some kind of invalid? Do you need “help” to do the laundry or vacuum? When he comes home from work, it should all be done. Get to work, bitch!

Men do typically work around the house. Mostly, this is repair and maintenance, and sometimes, yardwork. But this is not “helping,” it is just doing. A man does not “help” his wife paint the exterior walls or fix the faucet. He just does it. Either his wife helps him, or she doesn’t. Sometimes, if he is very busy and can afford it, he hires a handyman or gardener to take care of those things. So, you know that when a wife complains about him not “helping,” she is just being a whiney lazyass.

With the advent of full-time working mothers, which I do not recommend, some traditional wifely duties had to be split with husbands, making each equally overworked. If there are two full-time working parents, this is OK. If a wife works part-time, it is not OK. Get your housework done. That’s why you are only working outside the house part-time. And it is not at all acceptable for a stay-at-home wife and mother. A stay-at-home wife and mother should do all her traditional duties, and then ask: “What else can I do to support and improve our household?” She should aim to help more.

Sometimes, a man will help, simply because he wants to help his wife with her duties. This is a sort of gift. Unfortunately, women often take this as an opportunity to foist her duties off on her husband. If he helps once, then she immediately assumes that he has lifted that responsibility off her shoulders forever. Then, when he doesn’t do it again, she starts complaining. Now look at this from the man’s perspective: I helped you with your work, just to be nice. But, all I got for it was a bunch of whiney complaining horseshit. A smart man concludes: I will never do that again. If your husband helps you with your duties, look on it as a one-time gift. Be thankful and grateful. Do not expect it to ever happen again. If you are thankful and do not expect it to happen again, he will probably be helpful again sometime.

But, I think it may be best for husbands to never overstep into their wives’ responsibilities. The better sort of wife doesn’t want this kind of help, even when offered. She would rather stay up until midnight washing the dishes, while you are already asleep, than have you help her. She doesn’t want to be married to a man that does women’s work. Her husband is not a Kitchen Bitch. She doesn’t want to be the kind of wife that can’t handle her responsibilities, like some kind of invalid.

So, unless you are a full-time working wife and mother, the traditional and proper response to this kind of whingeing is: A good stiff beating with a rod.