Lori Alexander, at The Transformed Wife, pointed out a YouTube video (which I watched when it came out), about a 27yo woman doctor who had come to realize that her career path did not have any room for a family in it.

The woman is “Georgia Free” on Youtube, and I have watched many of her videos. I generally say that there are about 20% of American Women today who actually do make good wives (at least, good enough). Mostly, you never see these women, because they usually become attached to the man they will marry between the ages of 16 and 23, they stay married and they don’t cheat, and thus they are never single and available. I think this was also true of Georgia Free, who (as I understand it) was in a long-term-relationship with a man for five years, who she planned to marry, which means that it would have begun around age 21. But, it didn’t work out for some reason.

The point is, Georgia Free is, by appearances, a high quality woman. She is capable of long-term attachment. She has not had a sordid past of hookups (I think). She is rather attractive, at least a 7/10. She has had a good upbringing, has self-discipline, and is smart and so forth, enough to be a doctor. She values family and marital stability, and loves children. She embraces traditional women’s roles such as cooking and housekeeping. She says that she would not mind being a stay-at-home mother. She is not a feminist nutjob. She does not have a collection of bastard children from uncertain and absent fathers. These have all become rarities today.

As far as I know, she has now found a new man, and is on the way to marrying and starting a family, although I am guessing that she would continue to work afterwards.

In other words, Georgia Free represents the best you can get, while following the Feminist career path — from either a woman’s perspective (successful career, and beautiful too) and a man’s (potential wife material among a swamp of unfit women). So, let’s see where the best you can get gets you.

At age 27, she has used up about 11 years of her period of peak marriageability and fertility (16-32), and has about four years left. I recommend that a woman plan to have all her children before age 32 — that the last child, not the first, be born before 32. Fertility drops off quickly after that, and many women find themselves going to the fertility clininc for IVF or egg freezing beginning around age 35.

But, she is not even married yet. She has to find a man. Then, if all goes well, they will probably spend at least a year “dating.” Perhaps they will want to cohabitate for some time. Then they will decide to get married. Then there is often a year between deciding to get married and the actual marriage itself. Then, if you get to work right away on your honeymoon, you still have another nine months before birth. So, if everything works out great, and her husband is on board with all of this, and doesn’t have issues with low sperm count, she might have her first child around age 31. But, things could go wrong during any of these stages, and often does. Then, she will be out of time, back to square one, looking for a man, at perhaps age 29 or 30.

As a doctor, she had a path of preparation which looked something like this:

1) Four years of high school, during which she probably first started to attract male attention around age 14, and entered her time of peak attractiveness, fertility and marriageability around age 16. For at least some time, she was a Debt-Free Virgin Without Tattoos — perhaps, even past her high school graduation. But, since she was planning to go to a presitigious university, all of her high school “relationships” she treated as temporary and transient, and not the beginnings of something that might lead to marriage. She refused the idea of a premarriage “relationship” (courting) with an older man (beyond high school) out of first principles.

When relationships are assumed to be transient and temporary to begin with, then it is not very important if your “boyfriend” is the kind of fellow who would eventually make a good husband. Thus, a girl can indulge her fantasies about sexy bad boys, relationships with no future, which soon becomes a habit.

If she had been married at age 17, which used to happen, to perhaps an older man who can support a family, then at age 27, she might be a mother of four already. From the man’s point of view, he can spend his Tenth Wedding Anniversary with a wife who is still a vision of youth and beauty. Can’t do that when you marry a 35 year old.

2) Now she has four years of college. Even if we set aside for now all the bad things that can happen to a girl at college, in terms of mis-education (Social Justice/Feminist poison), alcohol abuse and sexual degeneracy, we have another four years spent during her period of Maximum Beauty, Fertility and Marriageability during which again, as in high school, potential relationships that could lead to marriage are treated as transient and temporary, since she plans to go to a prestigious medical school, rather than follow her future husband, that she met in college, to wherever his career takes him.

Again, since these college relationships are assumed to be temporary and transient, she can hook up with sexy bad boys, and ignore all the boring hardworking guys who are preparing for successful careers and supporting a family. Her choices in men can be all for the present and no thought for the future, because they are not supposed to have any future.

She is not likely to get out of college as a Debt-Free Virgin Without Tattoos.

3) Now she has four years of medical school, ages 22-25. In this case, I would guess that she began her long-term possible-future-husband relationship around the beginning of medical school. Perhaps, another future doctor. At some level, maybe she decided that she was in a position to finally start the process of finding a husband, and relationships were no longer transient and temporary, on principle.

But, again she is in medical school, which is hardly the time to get married and have children. Then, she graduates, and begins work as a doctor. Now she probably has no tattoos, but a ton of debt.

Having debt is OK for a doctor, theoretically, because they can look forward to many years of relatively high income, with which they can pay off the debt. But, this high income period does not begin right away. After graduation, a doctor has a further apprenticeship as an Intern, with long hours and lowish pay.

Now she is 26 or 27, and for some reason, she breaks up with her long-term boyfriend that she had hoped to marry. So, now, on top of all the demands of working as an Intern, and paying down debt, getting home tired late at night, she has to somehow find another high-quality man that could be a potential husband.

Now let’s say there is a happy ending, and she finally manages to marry the best sort of fellow, and they have children. Now what?

Now, she has to keep working, as a working mother, neglecting her children. First, because of the enormous investment in education (eight years of college and medical school), plus the low-paid Intern period, that went into training as a doctor. It hardly makes sense to toss all that in the trashcan after a couple years of full-time work, and then quit and become a housewife. This is the Feminist Merit Badge.

Second, most doctors emerge from medical school with a ton of debt, which they would normally pay off over the first decade or so of their career. Fortunately, since she is married to a high-quality husband, they can probably live on his income alone if they are careful (many dual-income families are not), and then she could put the entirety of her income toward debt payments, and thus pay it down quickly. Then, she could quit working if she wanted to, or maybe keep working and not have debts to pay.

But even this would likely take at least five years. And she cannot wait during those five years. She cannot work hard for five years, pay down the debt, quit the job, and then have children and be a full-time housewife. She would be too old, around age 36. It’s not impossible, but that is running out the clock to the very end.

So we see that it doesn’t really make much sense. All the options are barely functional. Much could go wrong.

Now let’s see what happens if she followed my life plan.

As a sixteen year old, from a good family, she catches the attention of a young man who is in medical school, age 24. This is done with the help of her Mother, and her circle of matronly friends, who are eager to find good husbands for their daughters, and good wives for their sons. Today, Mothers often tell their daughters that they should not get involved with men until they have established their career; and that they should avoid any serious relationships that might derail their career plan, instead focusing on transient and temporary arrangements — aided by birth control pills, which her Mother insists on, and which leads to hormonal distortions of her natural affections.

When our man graduates, and begins to make some money, around age 27, he decides to snap up this fantastic girl that he has known for a while, and she gets married at age 19, living at her father’s house until that time.

She is the same intelligent and beautiful girl. Also, on her wedding day, she is a Debt Free Virgin Without Tattoos, unsullied by all the things that can happen during four years of college and medical school. Because she is brainy and energetic, she continues to educate herself, largely by reading books regularly. She doesn’t know much about biochemistry or anatomy, but she does know a lot about literature, history and philosophy/morality/spirituality, and knows how to play the piano. She reads not only for her own enjoyment, or even self-improvement, but because she knows that soon she will have to educate her own children, and she plans to do it well. Since she doesn’t have to work long hours in the hospital, she is careful about what she eats, and works out regularly, so she has an eye-popping fantastic body, which her husband likes very much.

Her first child is at age 20, and by age 27 she has four children. She spends her days at the park with the children and lovingly preparing meals for her family, especially her husband who gets back from a long day at the hospital. He is tired, but she has a lot of energy, so of course they have sex all the time.

When the children get a little older, she begins homeschooling them, and thus is involved with her children’s care all day, and the company of other wives and their children, who are doing the same thing. This, she finds, is very satisfying. And so they live, happily ever after.

There is a lot of music about falling in love, but not much about getting married, and almost nothing about being in love while married.

To illustrate what I mean, listen to this album of music about happy married monogamy. It is The Man I Love, by Peggy Lee. The year was 1957. Frank Sinatra conducted arrangements by Nelson Riddle — the best of that era.

This was rare even by the standards of the 1950s. Much of the popular music of that time — such as Frank Sinatra’s other albums — was really about unmarried serial monogamy, or “dating,” in a 1950s-style Playboy/James Bond manner. In other words, it was subversive. Today, The Man I Love is both alien, and also, comfortably sweet. It might help you kick the Taylor Swift habit. That stuff is toxic poison.

Find it from whatever music source you use. Here is a link from Amazon

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If you don’t get up and leave, this is your future.

I’ve said it before, but it needs to be said again: the Young Wife should be slim and attractive, just as she was before getting married. Mostly, this means diet and exercise.

By “diet” I mean food quality, not quantity. Calorie counting is not necessary. Eat when you are hungry, within reason. “Quality” means what you eat, not how much. “What you eat,” is, of course, Cooking, and we talked about in the Duties of a Young Wife #3. So, there is nice overlap here. With a good diet of high-quality foods — whole single ingredient foods, with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables while de-emphasizing refined foods such as white flour, white sugar and oils — it is not hard to keep looking good without having to exercise like an Olympic trialist.

Dress should be classy and modest. It should say: “I am classy and married.” No slutwear. No yoga pants outside the yoga studio. But also, no single-girl clothes. Now you are to look like the cherry tree in midsummer, not the cherry tree in flower — even if you happen to be 19. Careerwear is a good example of “classy and modest,” but we are talking about stayathomewifewear here.

Karen Grassle’s outfits as Caroline Ingalls in the Little House on the Prairie TV show exemplify what a young married woman might have dressed like in the 1870s. Mostly, a combo of buttoned shirts and long practical skirts.

When you consider that this woman lived literally on the fringes of civilization, made all her own clothes and washed them by hand, ironed them with an iron heated in a wood fire, and did things like milking cows and chopping wood in them, it’s amazing how well people dressed back then. Yes, I know it is television (the real Caroline was not as good looking as Karen Grassle), but the clothes are about right I think.

If you stacked a hundred sluts from end to end, it still wouldn’t reach to the knees of Caroline Ingalls.

And what about her husband Charles? Wild enough to go past the edge of the known world with three little girls. Civilized enough to wear a bowtie. A man you could rely on to shoot a bear and play the violin. 100% American hardass.

But, on special occasions (the television) Caroline Ingalls knew how to dress up.

Just as a woman is responsible for a house that is not only clean and functional but also charming and beautiful, so she should attend to her own appearance in a manner that is a credit and honor to her husband, family and nation. A woman like that is worth a dozen “trophy wives.” A team of ten of today’s Hamptons trophy wives probably couldn’t split wood for one fire before breaking down into tears and divorce threats. Women like Caroline Ingalls conquered entire continents.

Here she is, ironing her daughter’s handmade dress, while her family is so far into the wild that her house is literally a dirt hole. Women like that are like gold.

We continue with our Duties of the Young Wife: the things that a young woman should do immediately upon becoming a wife. We will assume that this Young Wife is a stay-at-home wife who does not yet have children.

Another major duty of the Young Wife is “home economics,” or what might also be called: frugality. In other words, she should accomplish her other duties, to as high a standard as she can attain, while also staying within the budget established by her husband. In consultation with his wife, a husband should establish a budget for these recurring expenses. This budget might be small, or it might be extravagant. Some husbands may wish to maintain a position in society that requires a display of opulence. This may include a gigantic residence with many rooms, all of which must be tastefully decorated; perhaps a vacation home or even two, maintained to the same standards; and this extends even to the opulence of his wife’s clothing, for example. The wife should accomplish the goals that have been assigned to her, while staying within her budget.

In general, a wife should aim to accomplish her basic tasks without using much money. This leaves some surplus, which the husband can then use more freely, perhaps at his wife’s wishes. A wife says: “I would really like to have this or do that” which is not in the regular budget. But, since the regular budget is modest, the husband has plenty of money left over to fulfill his wife’s wishes, which he enjoys doing.

This is contrary to a common pattern among women today, which is to pressure and extort their husbands to spend as much as possible on their wives; or to burden the family with extraneous expenses such as credit card bills. This pattern must be rejected.

A Young Wife should go the other way. She should say, to her husband: That is too much; it is not necessary; I don’t need it; the smaller one is fine with me. Typically, the husband then says: Take it anyway; don’t worry about it; spend some money on yourself; it’s a present.

Frugality is especially important today, when a wife who stays home must live comfortably on only her husband’s income, even while the norms and examples of her peers often include two-income families. Basically, she will have to do things differently; usually, more cheaply.

The best frugality is frugality that is inherent. For example, bicycles are inherently much cheaper than automobiles. A two-bedroom condo is inherently cheaper than a four-bedroom freestanding house. A day at the beach is inherently cheaper than a day at an amusement park. Homeschooling is inherently cheaper than private schools. Rather than trying to do more with less, it is usually best to do less, do it well, and have plenty left over.

Sometimes, a husband might need a little encouragement to see the benefit of dropping his minimalist bachelor ways, and spending more money. “Of course that scruffy bachelor thing is good enough — but why not have this thing which is much better, and which is so easily obtainable?” This might be in the form of a better house, or a better education for the children. It might be in the form of better cutlery: for some reason, young men seem to have a thing for kitchen knives of execrable quality. Sometimes, a wife has a sense of social ambition that is a virtue rather than, as is often the case, a vice. But even here, the family’s finances should not be imperiled.

Many of the most important and valuable things do not cost much money. A wife who cooks well can actually save money. You don’t go out to restaurants much when you discover that the best food in town is in your own kitchen. A well-decorated house and a pretty garden reduces the urge to visit hotels and resorts. A rich home life of books and conversation reduces the need for external amusements. A Young Wife can make a home of splendor and beauty without spending very much money. It is mostly a matter of discipline, effort and imagination.

Some women have made frugality into a sport. We see the extreme couponers; or those women who exult in what they can find at yard sales and on eBay; or women who can take a fifty-pound sack of potatoes ($16), a twenty-five pound bag of organic beans ($60), a fifty-pound bag of organic wheat flour ($36), and some herbs and spices ($20), and make a whole month’s worth of tasty food; or women who raise their families in houses of less than 500 square feet — and end up on national television as a result. One of my wife’s friends once appeared in magazines for her exotic fashions; later, she amused herself by assembling outfits from donated clothing that cost her less than $5. “Home economics” does not have to be all scrimping and restriction, but rather, an interesting field of endeavor itself.

It is May, the time of flowering plants, so let us make some ancient comparisons that, nevertheless, lie at the core of our difficulties today.

In Spring, plants flower. This is a wonderful but fleeting time of beauty, similar to a woman’s “flowering” around the ages 16-25. Here is a cherry tree in blossom:

Isn’t that lovely?

Later, the blossoms fall, and the cherry tree, though still in the fullness of summertime life and vigor, nevertheless ends this magical time of beauty:

The purpose of the cherry tree’s flowering is, actually: sex, and procreation. In this case, it is done with the help of insects, which does not translate very well to human affairs. But, there is a reason why the cherry tree blossoms (that is, becomes sexually attractive) at the beginning of warm weather. The cherry tree then procreates (makes fruit with seeds), and these seeds then can use the summer to grow before the next winter. In a similar way, animals (including humans) have children early — early in the summer, or early in life — so that the raising of children can take place during the period of maximum vigor and energy. A woman’s prime childbearing years are 16-32. If she has her last child at 32, that child becomes an adult while the woman is in her early fifties, a time when energies are beginning to wane; and also, a time when she may begin to adopt new duties, such as caring for aging parents.

Men have a little different timeline. But even so, a man over the age of fifty or so becomes unattractive, even if he is both fertile and wealthy enough to support a family. One reason is that, if he has a child at age 53, that child will be twenty when he is 73. He will have to raise the child during a time of declining energy, health and productivity, which is a risky proposition. The child may have to begin taking care of his aging parents at exactly the time when he is also struggling to establish a career and family of his own.

Perhaps, one can argue, we should ignore and frustrate this basic biological process, in order to achieve something that we think is of value; perhaps, a law degree. But even if that is so, we are nevertheless acting contrary to basic natural processes, which introduces an element of disorder, contrariness and difficulty to our affairs. The benefits better outweigh the costs and consequences. Some women will attempt to balance the equation by discarding the idea of children altogether; but, it seems that almost no women can do this successfully and without remorse. They are really only postponing the idea of children. And, they can do this only so long as they have some fertility left to squander on intentional infertility.

I say this mostly for the benefit of young women, and girls, who do not have either much experience, talent for rational calculation, or ability to foresee longer-term consequences; and thus, must rely primarily on what they are told to do by others. Use your Springtime period as the cherry trees do: for procreation. If you are going to procreate (have children), do so within the context of a marriage. This means you have to get married first.

We have been talking about the Duties of a Young Wife — what a woman should do immediately after getting married, perhaps age 18-25. We will assume that this Young Wife is a stay-at-home wife, and does not yet have children, but probably will soon. In the end, it is not so different for wives who work full time.

Cooking is a major activity for the Young Wife. She should take it seriously. If she has not yet practiced cooking very much, she should start the process of becoming a good cook. If her mother taught her how to cook, she should improve her skills. It took my wife five years to learn how to cook well.

These days, a woman doesn’t need to know how to make clothing, milk cows or play the piano. But, the modern family still gets huge benefits from a wife who can cook well.

Today, the importance of a woman who cooks well is not much appreciated. If anything, a woman faces criticism for actually doing something useful and important, and which benefits her husband and family. It seems like most young women are told that they are to be served and doted on like Disney Princesses. Have you ever seen a Disney Princess that knows how to cook? (Maybe Cinderella, but she wasn’t a princess.)

Let’s look at some of the important aspects of cooking well:

1. Eat Well Every Day. Eating is a major part of life. Life is more fun when you eat well every day. Also, meals are a major social event, for the family and also for friends.
2. You husband will love it. Men know the value of a woman who cooks well.
3. It’s fun. Cooking is an activity that can be a lot of fun. Just look at how many foodie and cooking shows there are. Don’t those Celebrity Chefs look like they are having a good time? Cooking can be a great hobby. Besides, a stay-at-home Woman of Leisure has a lot of time on her hands. What better use of it than to learn how to cook?
4. It’s an important part of our culture and civilization. Think of what a central part food plays in the great civilizations of the world. France is France in part because of French food. Japan has great food. Chinese cuisine can be wonderful. If you have ever been to a Central American or African country where the choice is between Rice with Chicken and Chicken and Rice, you will know what I am talking about.
5. It’s cheaper. Eating out in restaurants, even cheap restaurants like takeout, can get expensive quickly. Also, restaurant food is generally not very healthy. It is supposed to be special-occasion food, not everyday food. Or, it is supposed to be quick and slightly addictive, like fast food. You can’t control for food quality very well with restaurants. Looking for a pizza restaurant that uses organic flour? Good luck with that. Fast food often contains chemicals and additives. Even deli meats and cheeses typically have a ton of salt. When a woman cooks well for her family, it can even be cheaper than what a busy single man spends while eating often in restaurants. Having a wife saves you money. Plus, sex. There’s a reason men used to get married, in the past.
6. It’s healthier. People today are grossly unhealthy, fat and ugly. Mostly, this is due to poor diet. Processed, prepared and packaged foods, and fast foods, are the main cause. A Young Wife should learn to cook from single ingredient foods — fruits, vegetables, beans, rice, spices, herbs, meat. Things that don’t have a list of ingredients. Avoid all processed, prepared and packaged foods. Make it yourself. Besides avoiding all kinds of chemical additives, you can also step up the quality. A fifty-pound bag of organic bread flour doesn’t cost much. Use a breadmaker, and you can have fresh-baked organic bread every day. Get organic beans and bananas. Use lots of fresh vegetables, potatoes, or squash. Look for naturally-raised poultry or beef, perhaps from small independent producers. Think of all the health consequences of bad food today. A major duty of the Young Wife is to research all these topics, and create food for the family that keeps them healthy, slim and strong.

Learn these things before children arrive. You want to be able to cook well so that, when you also have children to take care of, you are not fumbling around in the kitchen or grabbing for processed foods because you don’t know how to cook.

Cleaning doesn’t take much time these days, but cooking properly still takes hours each day. Often, the best way to approach this is to Do More: to make cooking into an aspiration, goal or enthusiasm, rather than a burden you would rather avoid. Some women have undertaken to make every recipe in Julia Child’s Mastering The Art Of French Cooking. Another woman might want to learn about Indian cuisine, or learn the subtleties of making bread.

Doing the dishes is part of housekeeping, and thus the woman’s duty. Sometimes men like to do the dishes, just as an expression of gratitude for his wife’s effort at making a fine meal each day. But, if he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have to. Do the dishes. My wife often doesn’t allow me to do the dishes even when I offer. But, she has Japanese standards in mind. In the Japanese way, men do not even fill their own bowls, but ask their wives to do it. My wife takes pride that, at her table, things are done properly; this means, she fills my bowl.

Take meals seriously. Today, many people don’t even have “meals.” They are eating in the car or snacking at the kitchen counter standing up, or in front of the television. One advantage of cooking — from single ingredient foods — is that you can’t snack, because there are no snacks. You don’t buy prepared or processed foods. When you have to cook, you have meals. A regular dinner together is an important part of family life. Insist on it. Even before children, insist that your husband sits down at the table for dinner together with you, and that he spends at least thirty minutes at the table.

Make sure that the accompaniments to meals are beautiful and classy. Have a regular dining table — maybe something beautiful and antique. Have pretty tablecloths or napkins. Have excellent dishware or glasses. I have some antique English silverware (actually it is silver plated, but made in 1863) that cost me less than stainless stuff at Pottery Barn. Use the good stuff every day. You can buy good-quality china or glassware, on the used market, for hardly any money at all. And, it doesn’t wear out. Small children should have plastic plates and cups, but otherwise, there is no reason to use junk. Dress properly for dinner, and insist that everyone else does too. You don’t have to wear lipstick and earrings every day, but no yoga pants and sweatshirts either. And, you can wear lipstick and earrings if you want to.

RooshV, who has more experience with women than 99.99% of men today, finally concluded that they were unfit to make decisions about their own lives. They needed male leadership. Don’t you think this is why every woman is looking for a man that acts like a leader?

The reason that women had their behavior limited was for the simple reason that they are significantly less rational than men, in a way that impaired their ability to make good decisions concerning the future. This was eloquently described by German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer in his important essay On Women. He described them as overgrown children, a comparison that any man who has dated more than a dozen of them can quickly agree to after having consistently witnessed their impulsive and illogical behavior firsthand.

Women are directly fitted for acting as the nurses and teachers of our early childhood by the fact that they are themselves childish, frivolous and short-sighted; in a word, they are big children all their life long—a kind of intermediate stage between the child and the full-grown man, who is man in the strict sense of the word. See how a girl will fondle a child for days together, dance with it and sing to it; and then think what a man, with the best will in the world, could do if he were put in her place.

If there is someone among women who has the kind of experience with women of RooshV, it might be this woman, who is a retired and married dating coach for women. Besides all the experience that comes from being a dating coach, she is retired, which means that she can say what she thinks, even if it is not popular among the sort of women who might want a dating coach. Also, unlike (it seems) most dating coaches, she is married; and, apparently, happily so. Here, finally, is a woman saying something useful. Girls: watch and learn.

This is for: Young wives, and girls who wish to become young wives.

We looked earlier at some of the Duties of the Young Wife — what a wife does immediately after her wedding day. We will set aside, for now, duties of Matrons, or mothers of older children and young adults. We began with basic housekeeping. This is rudimentary; but, many women fail at this, even those of considerable ability who may have graduated from top universities. When looking at the Duties of a Wife, we are, on the one hand, describing things that all wives should do; and which all wives are capable of doing. We have to set out fundamental things that even women who are well below average can do. Women who are well above average should know that, in addition to these basic things, they can do many other things, as suits their temperament and ability. I laid out some of those things in my hierarchy of the Good Wife. To say that the Duties of a Young Wife include cooking and cleaning, does not mean that she must fill the entirety of her days with cooking and cleaning. But, it does mean that she should not neglect it, either.

These errors seems to be related to expectations for employment at a job. When you work at a job, you are expected to act busy for eight hours a day, whether your have eight hours or work to do, or two. But, a stay-at-home wife without children is called a Woman of Leisure because all this housekeeping stuff certainly does not take all day, so she has a lot of time left over.

Now we move beyond basic housekeeping and maintenance to decoration of the home. There is some difference of opinion as to whether this is the responsibility of a husband, or a wife. The Japanese custom seems to be that decorating is the responsibility of the husband, and falls within the sphere of the house itself: the husband “builds” the house, perhaps with his own hands, or more commonly, has it built by others, purchases it, or rents it. This “building” is imagined to include the decorating: choosing and placing furniture, for example. The American custom is that the husband “builds” the house, but it is the wife’s responsibility to decorate it, within the context of her husband’s wishes.

Either way, someone has to do it. At a basic level, this involves things like painting or wallpaper, window treatments such as curtains, rugs, furniture, and lamps and lighting. This is a sphere of considerable creativity and expertise, and you can spend a lot of time and money at it. Some people hire interior decorators. We will assume that the wife will do most of the work here. However, this must be done in context of the husband’s wishes. He should say, to his wife: Please decorate the house. (Or, he could take it upon himself, if he has an interest in the details of the process.) It should be done in a manner that pleases him, even if, as for women’s clothing or makeup for example, he does not understand very well how that effect is created. It must be done within the budget established by the husband (with the wife’s consultation), both in terms of money, and also, in terms of time and energy. Sometimes wives spend way too much time on home decoration, and neglect other duties. Major changes, such as the purchase of a new sofa for example, should get his approval. However, a wife can be proactive and suggest things that should be done: “Honey, I think we should get another bookshelf, or a desk for Johnny where he can study.” He will then say: “How much will this cost? OK, then, go right ahead and find something good.”

You can spend gigantic amounts of money on home decorating; but, you can also spend very little. Many, many things can be done for less than $100. For less than $100, you can get a can of paint, or a fine set of curtains, or a ceiling light fixture, or a table lamp, or a minor piece of furniture like a coffee table or end table, or a wall decoration like a picture, or a small rug, or an excellent set of dishware or glasses. Look always to the used market, on Craigslist or EBay, or at local antique stores or estate and yard sales. For less than $200, I have seen 12-person sets of fine china that was probably someone’s wedding present. Look at the used/vintage/antique market for furniture and furnishings of all sorts. Even large items like dining tables, beds, bookshelves and desks, of high quality, can often be had for less than $200. In general, it is worthwhile to stick to high quality items, of solid hardwood instead of particleboard for example. Many vintage/antique things are of high quality, in part because cheapie stuff doesn’t last, and ends up in a landfill rather than an antique store. You can buy a good antique dining set of table and chairs, which is already 70 years old, let’s say for $500, and then sell it again twenty years later for $700. If you spent $500 on a new set from Ikea, after twenty years you would sell it for $100, or possibly give it away to Goodwill.

You may have to redecorate whenever you change residences. A table that “fit” one space may not work for another. Get used to buying and selling furniture as needed.

I once was lolling about a store that sold high-end handmade rugs, typically costing $2000-$5000, and up to $30,000 or more, for the 8×12 size I was interested in. Often, the customers of this store had old rugs that they wanted to replace, so the store owner would not only sell and deliver the new rug, but also pick up the old rug much like a new car dealer takes a trade-in on an old car. So, he had a lot of old rugs, which were worn but of high quality and still usable. Among these old rugs (costing $400-$1200), he had one rug that had become moth-eaten, and a large part of one corner was completely eaten away. But, the other 95% of the rug was in pretty good shape, and of high quality and a beautiful design — the kind of rug that may cost $3000+ new. I got it for $100, and have received many compliments on it.

All the time, people are dying, or downsizing, or getting divorced, and whole house-fulls of beautiful things are sold on the used market, for whatever price they can fetch.

If even $100 is too much, you can often get things for free. Many people have furniture or other home furnishings that they do not use, but which are too much bother to sell, and which are too valuable and usable to simply throw away. They would be happy to give it to you if you ask. I have received whole sofa sets, ten years old but in good shape, from friends who replaced their sofas and were keeping their old ones in the garage. Once I paid $50 for a washer and dryer set, that was 15 years old but perfectly functional. I used it for eight more years and never had any trouble with it. Eventually I too gave it away, by that time rather dingy but still running strong.

When you consider that you can decorate a home very well for not very much money, there is really no excuse to have anything but a well-decorated home. It is simple indolence. Nevertheless, many people fail at this. One reason for failure is that a husband does not particularly want a well decorated home. Probably, when he was single and living alone, he did not want to spend any time or energy at home decoration, in part because he had other things he was interested in. This is a failure of young, single men: young, single men should also take an interest in properly decorating and maintaining their residences. Young, single men should develop a minimum of taste and understanding to purchase a good desk or set of dresser drawers for their own use, similar to the way that a young man should develop a minimum of taste and understanding to buy a good suit or pair of shoes. But, it is excusable in the sense that a man wants to live simply and not spend a lot of time fussing over womanish decorating tasks. He would rather ride his Harley on the weekends than shop for sofas or paint the walls funny colors.

There is even, among some young, single men, a sense that a home should not be well decorated, not simply because he would rather put his attention elsewhere, but as a sort of principle, or self-image. This is, ultimately, a form of slovenliness that must be abandoned. Young men should aspire to live well, in a well-decorated home.

After marriage, a man may continue to think that home decorating is not worth his time, money or energy. This is a mistake: it does not cost much money — much less than the Harley, or other guy-hobbies that he is involved in — and now, since he has a wife, he can tell her to do it. So, the first step, for a young wife, is to excite her husband’s interest in a home that is decorated at a standard above an army barracks, and to get him to understand that this does not cost much money, and that she will take care of 90% of the work, so that he can still ride his Harley on the weekends. This is what stay-at-home wives are for. Put that bitch to work.