Today, women are repeatedly told not to marry when they are young; let’s say, before age 25. This used to be the outside edge of when women would marry, 16-25, with the ideal around 18-20.

It is probably not best to start with those women who are well down the road to harlotry, or who have already arrived. Today, the women who are most likely to form a stable and productive family often meet their future husbands before age 25, and often, around age 20. The only difference between now and then is that, in the pre-1920 period, they would soon get married. Today, they become boyfriend and girlfriend; often, cohabitating in a stable, fruitful monogamous relationship. Typically, they then get married later, sometime after age 25, formalizing long years of an almost-marriage.

Today, only a minority of women, I would say, are fit to be good wives. Mostly, these girls are taken off the market, in this fashion, around age 20-22 — either getting married (it still happens), or almost-married. Since they are among the minority of women capable of forming stable, loving, beneficent, monogamous relationships, this is what they do — typically, with a like-minded man. Most men never meet them, which is why they have attained a mythical status, known as “unicorns.” I think they are much more common than unicorns (let’s generously put their number around 30%, but that might be my generation rather than today’s), but they seem uncommon because they won’t be found on Tinder, Bumble, or in a bar or club. They are at home, where, after cooking a nice meal, they are having hot sex with their long-term boyfriends, who they will eventually marry.

I say to these women, and their “boyfriends”: just get married, perhaps around age 21. Why not?

There are actually some good reasons why not, but I would also suggest that there are some advantages to marrying instead of cohabitating.

I have advocated getting married young, and then, having children while young, soon after marriage. But — we will discuss this later — you could also get married, and not have children right away. That is not a bad way to go.

This recent series of blog posts by “Sharkly” describes typical features of dysfunctional wives today. As bad as this is, it is probably even worse for many men who marry women that are not regular churchgoers, and very often, have a sordid history of harlotry as well.

I personally do not suffer from any of these problems. It helps that my wife is Japanese — not a guarantee of all sweetness and light, but from a country where women have not yet been driven completely insane.

I think this series of posts is helpful, first, for men, who can either relate to experiences much like their own, or, especially for younger men, to get some idea of common situations today that they do not yet have experience with; which explains one of the purposes of this website.

But, I think it is especially helpful for women. Here is a man of unusual virtue. Besides being good-looking and having a reasonably high socioeconomic standing, he has made many efforts at repairing the damage to his family within the context of Christian teachings. Since he himself obviously gets little benefit from this marriage, his interests are largely altruistic: the welfare of the children, and also, the betterment of his wife, who is otherwise stone crazy.

A woman reading this here should appreciate what bad behavior among women is today, and how this is encouraged by the Church, a woman’s social circle, and broader society. It thus serves as a kind of litmus test: a woman who condones this kind of behavior, making rationalizations and justifications — in general avoiding any suggestion that this or any other woman should be asked to change her behavior in any way — is, I would say, unfit for marriage, and should be avoided. She would also be unfit for a monogamous “girlfriend” relationship, which reduces her to lower tiers of the “relationship” hierarchy, which I would call: “friends with benefits” (nevertheless still a friend), “fuck buddy”, and “pump and dump.” Unfortunately, many of her apparent issues with intimacy may have arisen from a prior history of “dating”; basically, times when she aspired to at least a “girlfriend” status, but was discarded by other men without reaching that level. This is one reason why I recommend avoiding “dating” and sticking with “courtship” today. “Dating” ends up causing damage; and the damage can be severe.

Thus, a woman today should — I hope, without the need for external encouragement — be critical of this kind of behavior. In other words, a woman should look upon it much the same way that a man would look upon it.

Here’s a woman who lives like it is 1958.

This video is interesting for a number of reasons. The 1950s were the last time that there was anything resembling traditional morality in the U.S. (although by 1900 standards, “dating” in the 1950s was dangerously degenerate).

If we set aside the period-correct details, what do see here? This woman is maybe a 5/10 at best, but she looks great — clothing, hair, makeup, manner. Probably real women in the 1950s did not make such an effort everyday … but maybe they should have. Beyond that, she also seems very happy to be a stay-at-home Mom. Her house looks great. She likes to cook. She takes good care of her son and husband. And she seems very happy, don’t you think?

Women today could learn a lot even from this short video.

Girls:

Remember our goals thus far:

Get married young (age 16-25, ideally 18-20), so that you can have a full set of children before age 32. Find a good husband. Live at home with your parents until you are married. Don’t go to college (except possibly a nearby one that will allow you to live at home; but today even that is not a very good idea). Maintain chastity until marriage. No “dating.” No boyfriends.

Quite a lot is riding on finding a good husband, which means that you must get the attention of an attractive, high-value man, and also, he needs to be willing to marry you; and not only that, to marry without being a boyfriend/having sex first.

This is not so easy, although it is also not so hard as many girls make it. First, you should be slim and attractive. This is mostly a matter of diet and exercise. Eat good food and exercise regularly. It really doesn’t matter what sort of body type you have, as long as you are slim and healthy. Just being slim and healthy, and making some effort at beautification (at least, avoiding intentional uglification) will put you in the top 30% for your age group; and if you are in the 16-25 age range, you will be in the top 10% of women who are actively looking for husbands, who are mostly over age 28.

Remember, maintaining a healthy diet and exercise, and being slim and healthy (and sexy) will continue for the rest of your life. It is not just an act you put on to bag a husband, and then later you go back to Doritos and ice cream. It is something that you will teach your children. So, learn it now, and you will have something to teach them.

This “beautification” can take a number of forms. I suggest wearing dresses of knee-length or longer. It is getting rare for girls to wear dresses at all, except for special occasions, but that also means that you would stand out if you did. For example:

Makeup should be naturalistic. Hair should be long and natural. No tattoos. No piercings except for earrings. No fake boobs, lip injections, botox, etc.

Examples of “slutty” clothing are everywhere today, but it is important to understand that the norms today are “slutty.” The message a man gets is: short-term fun but definitely NOT wife material. This is a high-end kind of slutty, but it is still slutty:

These are great-looking girls, but definitely NOT wife material — and guys can tell from one photograph.

I would even tend to avoid common swimwear. There seems to be a trend toward more modest swimwear these days. This stuff isn’t even uncommon now.

But, there is more to being top-class wife material than merely wearing some clothes. If you are going to jump right into childbearing and child-raising, skipping any career stuff, then it would help if you are enthusiastic about children and child-raising. Most women have a natural tendency this way anyway, but you can encourage it rather than suppress it. Keeping house — not just cleaning, but also decorating, which can include things like gardening — will be a major activity, so you should be enthusiastic about that. You can begin with your own bedroom, keeping it clean and decorating — decorating in an adult fashion, not teenybopper stuff. If you are a slob as a single woman without much responsibility, we can’t expect very much from you once you have all the demands of childcare as well.

We will add more to our list soon.

As I described in our previous post, young women should have children during their peak childbearing years, 18-32 — that is, they should have their last children no later than around age 32, not their first. To do this, they should get married at age 16-25, with an ideal around 18-20.

How is our young woman to get married?

Obviously, you have to find a man who is both willing to marry you, and attractive in some way — basically, you want to marry him. This is commonly a combination of looks, character, and wealth/income/status.

This probably doesn’t sound very complicated, but note that these requirements eliminate a large number of men from the outset. For example:

Men that will have sex with you, but don’t want to marry you.
Men that are good looking, but do not have the means to support a family.
Men that can support a family, but are unattractive to you.
Men who are of a lower socioeconomic class than you aspire to.

And so forth. Do not spend any time at all on these men. Avoid them. Typically, a man that is both willing to marry and able to support a family will be 3-15 years older, age 21-35. While it is OK for a woman to have some ambitions in these matters, at the same time, a woman must not price herself out of the market, and end up with nothing at all. Today, it is common for a woman to state that she wants a man that is over six feet tall. We all have preferences, but men find it bizarre that this be put forth as a requirement. Only about 15% of men are over six feet tall, and not all these men are attractive or have a high socioeconomic status. Tom Cruise, the actor, is 5’8″. If we then “require” that our six-foot-plus man be in the top 30% in terms of physical attractiveness, and be in the top 20% in terms of income (for their age group — the highest-earning men are typically in their fifties), we are left with 15%*30%*20%=0.9% of men. These men can be choosy; and, since they can only marry 0.9% of the women, these women they marry will themselves generally be in the top 1% of women. (But, no matter how many generations go by, it seems that this level of rational calculation is beyond women’s abilities.)

Also, since we are not having sex before marriage, we also need men that will marry you without having sex with you first. This might seem impossible today, but I don’t think it is so difficult. If a man is looking for a wife, it is not so important if you do not have sex before marriage, because you will get married soon and then you can have all the sex you want; or, perhaps you will go your separate ways. It is only important if a man has no immediate interest in marrying you.

This process of deciding whether to marry is known as “courtship.” It is not the same as “dating.” The “courtship” process takes place when a woman who wants to get married (you) meets with men who want to get married, to decide if they want to marry each other. If you have a woman that doesn’t particularly want to get married immediately, or a man that doesn’t particularly want to get married immediately (either or both), but you just want to spend some pleasant time together, then you are “dating,” which obviously is not going to lead to marriage because nobody wants that to happen.

“Dating” is a waste of time for a woman who wants to get married, because obviously it does not lead to marriage.

The “courtship” process does not take very long, because it is usually not too hard to determine one way or the other in not very much time. I would say about three months is enough. It could be three days. “Courtship” results in an “engagement,” and it does not take too long for engagements to lead to marriage.

However, during this “courtship” process, you can certainly go have a nice dinner with one of your suitors if you like. In other words, you can go on a date. But, no sex. No kissing, even. We should also not rule out “socializing,” men and women spending time together in a friendly noncommittal way, in a group or in a pair. This is often a necessary early step toward a more serious process of “courtship.” Parties and dances are forms of “socializing,” and there are more informal forms as well.

This might seem complicated, but it basically means “no boyfriends.” The “courtship” process does not produce boyfriends. There is no “pairing” or exclusivity of this sort until marriage itself, or perhaps engagement. Thus, even if you may have a favored suitor, you can see other suitors until the point that you get engaged. If a suitor doesn’t like the fact that you are seeing other suitors, then let him know what he can do about it.

Since nearly everyone is “dating” these days, it is worthwhile to state your intentions upfront. Just say: “I am looking for a husband to marry soon, I am a virgin, and I will not have sex before marriage.” If you put a description like this on Match.com, you would eliminate 98% of all men, but the 2% that remained would probably be pretty interesting. I think most men would appreciate it. Smart men would recognize that these are advantages in a potential wife; smart men tend to make attractive husbands; and smart men know that, if they are going to marry (as nearly all men do), they should marry deliberately, rather than blundering into it.

You actually have a lot on your side. While all the other party bitches are wasting their youth on sluttery with no intentions to marry, you are out there snatching up the best men; or, at least, one of the best men. The other women only get serious when they are around age 30, and by then they have huge disadvantages — not only age, but a sordid sexual history and a decade of feminist brainwashing.

During the courtship process, it is good to state what sort of marriage you would like to have. Some of the big things are: how many children (roughly), when you want to have children (soon), whether you want to be a stay-at-home mother (yes), whether you would like to homeschool, your religious preferences (or perhaps it is not so important for you), and so forth.

Dalrock has a lot of advice regarding finding a spouse here.

I have said that one of our purposes here was to tell women what to do. Women naturally do what they are told anyway — they pick this up from social norms and their social circle, authority figures like teachers and professors, the media, their parents and so forth. Unfortunately, much of what women are told to do these days is horribly dysfunctional. Much of it is dysfunctional on purpose — this is Cultural Marxism. Women themselves seem to have little capacity to understand this dysfunction, or remedy it. They rely upon men for this.

Matriarchy does not exist.

Thus, we are telling them what to do because women are relying on us. If we men fail to tell them what to do, or fail to tell them to do something that is functional and beneficial, then women blame men for the problems in society. Have you noticed this? “It is not my fault,” women say (they say this all the time today) “because I did what I was told to do.” And … they are right. One of the consequences of Matriarchy Does Not Exist is that it is Men’s Fault if things do not go well.

But, it is best if we begin telling them what to do at a young age, so we are really addressing girls here, of the ages roughly 12-16. So, I will speak now to these girls.

Girls:

Much of what you are told — by your teachers, your friends, older girls, the media, the role models in television or movies, and even your own parents — is horribly dysfunctional. If you follow these directives, you will cause great harm to yourself, and also, along the way, to your husband, children, the other men in your life, strangers who have to pay for your mistakes, and society as a whole. Millions upon millions of women have tried to follow these rules, and the result is wreckage and destruction — single moms on welfare, broken families, wrecked men who were raped in divorce court, children without fathers, heavy taxes to pay for all this catastrophe, children who were never born because they were murdered by their own mothers, diseases, huge swathes of single middle-aged women who can’t get through the day without prescription antidepressants, working women who can’t manage to get married, children neglected because Mom abandons them each morning to go to work, men who simply cannot trust any woman not to cause him harm and destruction, women who cannot trust any man not to abandon her, and on and on and on.

I have now warned you. If you do that, and you get the same results as millions and millions of women before you, then it is now your fault, not mine.

If you want to avoid this fate, then you will have to do something else. Who knows what to do? In the past, it would be your Mother; but, typically, only if she herself followed this pattern, so it was mostly a matter of rote and repetition for her. Such Mothers are rare today. Thus, today we will rely mostly on older men, over forty, with some experience and insight, to chart a new path through the wilderness. Ideally, this is your father. But, if you don’t have that sort of father, or you don’t have a father, then you can get help from other older men. Among this group, who is charged in all societies with making such decisions, a new consensus is emerging. I have described it here on this website. Actually, it should be familiar, because, in large part, it is the way things were done, in the West and actually in all advanced societies, for centuries until about 1920.

The most important thing for young women to do is to bear children, and raise them. This is a simple matter of biology: a woman’s peak childbearing years are 18-32. Not all women have to be moms, but most of them do, because societies that don’t bear children cease to exist. The future belongs to those who show up. But actually, nearly all women today want to marry and have children. They just don’t figure it out until they are 29.9999 years old. All the women who ever bore children did not do it out of some felt obligation to “society,” but for their own purposes and satisfaction. If you really think you are one of those women who is not meant to have children, then don’t; just don’t blame me later if you change your mind.

Several things follow directly from this. A woman should be married before she has children. Children should be raised in an intact nuclear family. Thus, to bear children while young, a woman should get married young. Traditionally, women got married in the ages 16-25, with the ideal around 18-21. Fortunately for women, this corresponds with a woman’s peak physical attractiveness (which is directly tied to fertility — even former supermodels lose their appeal over the age of 35), and also, a woman’s highest levels of what was known as “innocence and purity.” Nobody much wants to marry a man known for his “innocence and purity,” but this is vital for a woman.

Marriage sanctifies sex. In other words, sex within marriage is a good thing, and far preferable to a marriage without sex; sex outside of marriage, although it has some appealing aspects, also brings problems, difficulty and destruction. Thus, the best thing for a young woman is to avoid sex before marriage; get married young; and then have lots of sex with your husband.

Thus, our goals are: get married young, to the best husband you can get (typically 3-10 years older); have a full set of children before age 32; avoid premarital sex; maintain “purity and innocence.”

From this, it makes sense to live at your father’s house until marriage. Then you don’t need a job. Your father will maintain you before marriage; and your husband will maintain you afterwards. If you come from a lower-income family that really needs your additional income, you can work but still live at your father’s house.

A woman can certainly be educated, but this education should happen at home. A woman probably has plenty of free time while she is living at home with her father, so this would be a good time for study. Much of this can be done independently (self-study), or with the help of a tutor or mentor.

But, a woman should not go to college. Not much education happens at college; “purity and innocence,” along with virginity, are inevitably lost; four years of peak fertility and marriageability are lost (getting married while in college, once common, is nearly unheard-of today), a woman’s mind is filled with the most destructive Cultural Marxist garbage, and often, student loan debt introduces a big fat reason for a man not to marry this woman until she pays it off, which often does not happen until after 30. We might make an exception for a local college that a woman can attend while living at home. But, colleges today are so dismal that a young woman would still be better off studying on her own.

This might seem like it is risking an awful lot on finding a willing and attractive husband. This can be a challenge; but, you have the ages 16-25 to do it, and these days, not a lot of competition from other women. It is also a challenge to get into a good college and then get a good job from a good employer afterward. But, after all that, you still aren’t married — you still have to find a willing and attractive husband! — and now you have a ton of student debt. Even if you didn’t have the debt, and you did get married, now you should have some children; which means that you should quit your job. Which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense does it?

Now you are a young wife with a full passel of children. That should keep you busy. Be a good wife, a good housekeeper, and a good mother. I recommend homeschooling.

If you have children young, then they will be out of the house before you are fifty. Then, you can have whatever career you like, without any conflict with children and family. You could probably begin the process of getting vocational training (from a school for example) while your children are high school age.

Inevitably, there are some women who are just destined to become Hollywood actresses, or doctors. Some women will inevitably choose career over family while young. Like all choices in life, this will require sacrifices and produce consequences. Don’t blame me if you don’t like them. Most women today would be better off if they followed this script, rather than the dysfunctional feminist career-girl/party slut script that they are following today.

Nice visual data from Nathan Yau.

Marrying Later, Staying Single Longer.

The idea that being a stay-at-home Mom is boring, demeaning and inadequately challenging comes from the 1960s; specifically, Betty Friedan‘s 1963 book The Feminine Mystique. “Betty Friedan’s” real name was Naomi Goldstein. She had been a communist propagandist since her student days. She dropped out of graduate school to become a reporter for a communist news service. From 1946 -1952 she worked for the newspaper of the United Electrical, Radio and Machine Workers of America, (UE) “the largest Communist-led institution of any kind in the United States.” In 1947, Congress targeted the UE as a Communist front and its membership began a steady decline.

In other words, The Feminine Mystique was communist propaganda designed to destroy the family.

For some women, that is all they need to know to drop this “women are unfulfilled in the home” garbage and rush back to their children and husbands. But, most women need a little more than this.

The book did make a connection with women, mostly those that were graduates of the better colleges. They felt that spending their time with household drudgery was a waste of their potential. They were bored. So they rushed off to work.

This is actually rather stupid. No housewife should be spending very much of her time on “household drudgery.” You have to clean the toilet and vacuum the floors whether you have a full-time job or not. It should take about the same amount of time. If you are spending more than one hour a day at it, it is taking too long. A lot of this “drudgery” is really childcare. Children require a lot of care. Wealthy women have always had others do it for them: nannies, governesses, tutors, maids and so forth. Yet, a woman who is unwilling to undertake the process of raising and educating her children, and considers it drudgery beneath her station, should not be a mother. You are unfit for it. Go be a barren accountant; but please do not get married or have children.

No, the main reason that these women — this small set of upper-class well-educated women — were bored is not that their days were full of mopping and cleaning toilets. It was that mopping and cleaning the toilet took only a few minutes, and then they were bored.

This boredom arose, I would guess, primarily due to a lack of imagination. They couldn’t think of anything more worthwhile to do than labor for some corporation. They could have become more involved in their children’s upbringing and education. Today, they could become homeschoolers, which would engage the most able minds to their full capacity. They could continue to educate themselves — basically, read good books. They could socialize with other bored women. They could adopt various hobbies, like playing the piano. They could undertake the homemaking process with greater ambition — to become an ambitious cook, or maintain an ambitious flower garden, or become an ambitious interior decorator. They could get involved in some sort of community organization. They could get involved in some sort of national organization. They could become a Level 5 Housewife, or a fitness Mom.

Certainly, these women had some energy and ability, or they wouldn’t have graduated from one of the better colleges. But, they don’t seem that intelligent to me, or they would have thought of one of these things, rather than being conned by communist propaganda. For fifty years.

Unfortunately, as I think of this, it again reinforces the perception that women really need men to tell them what to do — to guide and protect them. Women, it seems, just can’t figure out even obvious subversive communist horseshit like this. They fall for it like total idiots. So, I am going to tell them what to do: stuff this toxic filth in the garbage.

Housekeeping, and raising and educating children, is a milieu with many opportunities to challenge the most able women. But, if a woman has additional time and energy beyond that, there are many, many worthwhile things to do. A woman who is actually bored has nobody to blame but herself.

A selection of quotes from conservative author Ann Coulter.

Ann Coulter, the far-right pundit and author of the new anti-immigration book “Adios, America!,” recently voiced her disdain for both immigrants and female voters on the radio show “Free Speech” with Gavin McInnes. While McInnes is himself an immigrant from Canada, he apparently had no problem bashing immigration from America’s Southern neighbors.

From The Transformed Wife:

In September of 1903, an article in The Atlantic called Why Women Do Not Wish the Suffrage, the author explains why women didn’t want to vote (only 4 percent wanted to vote in a poll taken). They knew their highest calling was in the home and raising the next generation. They wanted their entire focus to be upon this and not concerned with things that they weren’t involved with like fighting wars, being policemen, or going out and making a living for the family. Oh, how far we have fallen. Now, many mothers do not want to be home full time raising the next generation. They want to be out in the workforce instead and societies have suffered greatly.

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