So, I looked for dating sites and apps specifically for virgins (especially virgin women) to find a spouse for marriage, perhaps in a timeframe of about six months.

A search turned up two sites: YouAndMeArePure.com, and WeWaited.com.

Both were started around 2010-2011. Both no longer exist.

Here is a list of “Best Dating Sites for Serious Relationships” as of 2021.

#1 is Match.com.

#10 is Tinder, which tells you just how many dating sites/apps “for serious relationships” there are.

Part of the problem is “dating.” Dating is, actually, antithetical to getting married (“Courtship”), if you are planning to wait until marriage to get it on.

Waiting is not that big a deal, if you are only waiting for three or six months, from the time of first meeting — or, actually “courting” since you might have known someone all your life — until the wedding day. But, if you are “dating” in an open-ended fashion, it is not going to work.

So, it looks like what we need these days is not a “dating” website for virgins, but a “courting” website.

I think there are a lot of men, probably around Age 25-35, who might want to get a new car off the lot, rather than some ten-year-old rental car with 120,000 miles that everyone has taken for a ride around the block already. They would seriously consider marrying a virgin girl of perhaps 18 or 20, a few months after their first meeting.

What about virgin guys? That’s OK too, but mostly for younger men, perhaps also under 20. Basically, the “highschool sweetheart” scenario. Often societies make it possible for men to marry at such a young age. But, if a man is 25-35 when he gets married, which has always been common, then it is probably not necessary to expect that men are also virgins. Anyway, I don’t think our virgin girls would insist on it, although they are free to do so if they wish.

The reason for this is: previous sexual partners are far less problematic for men. Men tend to lose their pair-bonding tendencies over a much longer period, about 30 sexual partners. And, most men do not have this many sexual partners before they get married, even if they are 35, and especially in a society where most women are virgins at marriage. It was recently discovered that women retain the DNA (via semen) of all the men they have sex with. Nothing similar is known to happen to men. It is even hard to imagine how it might come about.

Some men do “burn out” their pair-bonding abilities. They tend to become nihilistic about women, who they see as interchangeable three-hole units to be used and discarded as appropriate. But, these men are rarely in the mood to marry, unless it is for money. Also, I think that even men who were libertines in the past, may come to a time when they are willing to undertake the building of a family, and are able to discipline themselves to that task, in a productive fashion. Anyway, if the 31yo Donald Trump (the age Trump was when he married 28yo Ivana Zelnickova) asked one of our 20yo virgin girls to marry him, they would probably say yes.

The main problem is actually finding such a girl. If you did find one, and you had a real life 18yo woman in front of you, with good character, from a good family, who could make a Good Wife and Mother of your children, who really was a virgin, and who might marry you if you asked, and who was also a total sex bomb, it wouldn’t be too hard to agree to that one.

What better option do you have, exactly?

This item on “The Culture of the Single Millennial” was good, although I think the situation is somewhat worse than presented here. That’s why I think that incremental changes won’t work, and people will have to basically do things completely differently.

Read: The Culture of the Single Millennial

One of the problems is: The goal is not just to get married, but to stay married, in a mutually beneficial and productive fashion, that is conducive to the successful raising of children. Most women figure out, around Age 28, that what they have been doing isn’t working; or, maybe they just got tired of it; or, maybe they are just being kicked off the Carousel against their wishes; or maybe they are Single Moms. This is the Epiphany Phase. The problem is, it is mostly too late for those women. Their bad habits and burned-out pair-bonding potential, in today’s context where divorce is too easy and rewards women, and under the constant influence of social media and their real-world acquaintances, tend to make them Bad Wives. Men are better off not marrying them.

“Wife up those worn-out Sluts, Hoes and Single Moms,” which was a common message from the Church and other Conservative pro-family corners in previous decades, has been proven to be a failed strategy. Finally, men have figured out what men in prior centuries always knew: You can’t make a Ho into a Housewife. This is now far more difficult even than it was then, due to today’s family courts. These girls are For The Streets.

27 was Not Too Old for Charlotte Lucas of Pride and Prejudice, who was from a good family and lived at her Father’s house. Presumably, she was a clean girl. But, today’s 27yo women are not like that.

A few women will reform themselves, and actually be Good Wives after their Epiphany Phase, from force of effort and following a good example, such as a book like Fascinating Womanhood, or Lori Alexander’s blog. But, this is a minority. Mostly, we will have to rely upon younger women, who will have to take the guidance of others since they do not yet have the experience to reach the Epiphany Phase on their own.

As most of society goes farther down the drain, I suspect there will be an increasing divide between those that take a stand with marriage and family, and those that do not. This may include arranged marriages, probably around Age 20-24 for women who, perhaps living at their father’s house, haven’t had much luck otherwise.

Contrary to today’s Disney Princess fantasies, most real princesses’ marriages were arranged. Also, they were something like mandatory. For normal people, arranged marriage was common, but not mandatory. Basically, the young couple had a veto.

Over at “The Women Sphere,” there is a course (basically, a book) offered on The Ethos of Womanhood. It might be pretty good.

https://thewomensphere.gumroad.com/l/hoRPH

Donna Reed, in It’s a Wonderful Life (1947), presents an idealized portrait of the loving wife and mother, who also happens to be a 10/10 girl all the way. In those days, women really did have four children before 30, and they really weren’t fat, and they really did dress well, without dressing like harlots. So, here we present, as a model for young married women, Donna Reed.

I was at a party talking with a better sort of girl. Yes, they do exist.

In 2021, she graduated from a Christian college in Manhattan. She was planning to return to her hometown in Georgia. After a few inquiries, I gathered that the main motivation was to meet up with her boyfriend — presumably, her high school sweetheart.

So, she had managed to spend four years unsupervised in Sodom on the Hudson — admittedly, at a Christian college — and still had connections with her high school boyfriend. Probably, she did not stack up too much of a body count along the way.

Naturally, I took this as a good opportunity to give some unsolicited advice.

I did this in part because young people today tend to get no guidance from anybody, including their parents. Certainly the common experience from people my age is that they had virtually no guidance at all. Among younger people, of the better sorts of families, I think it was more common to push women into career-oriented paths, even disparaging relationships as an obstacle to career success.

But, having sallied forth into advice-giving, there then rose the question of: what can you say in a minute or two that might be helpful?

I told this woman that, among women her age, perhaps 50% of them will never marry. The Pew Research Center estimates the figure at more like 25%, which is still way above the 8% common for White women up until now. But, for some reason, I think the real number (which we will not know until twenty years from now) might be much higher than that.

Marriage is not something that “just happens” these days. You have to do it deliberately.

Also, I said: She should plant the flag with marriage and family. This is the hill you want to die on.

Plan on homeschooling.

Since she was already leaving New York to return to her (presumably) high school sweetheart, she had already discarded career ambitions for “relationships.” She had already made a sort of do-or-die commitment to marry her high school sweetheart, although perhaps she did not herself understand this.

So, having come this far, she should marry this guy, and make it quick. They have already known each other for over four years, so get it done in six months. Then, have a bunch of babies before Age 27.

Among college educated women, about 35% of first marriages end in divorce, and 90% of these divorces are filed by women. In other words, women themselves blow up their families. If a woman doesn’t blow up her own family, there isn’t much risk. So, don’t do that.

If you were to ask all these college-educated women, the 90%, that blew up their own families, I think every one of them would claim that their ex-husbands were “mentally and physically abusive.” This is because they are a pack of damn liars. Women know that other women lie, but the younger ones may not know that these too are lies.

Today, we men have to sift out the women who are much too high risk/low reward for marriage and family. Men are better off alone than marrying these women. They are unfit to be wives and mothers. Please don’t get children involved. Let’s just say that 50% of women fall into these categories.

But, there are also the Other 50% — and also, the Top 10%, which, let’s say, includes this fine young woman. She was, on top of her other virtues, also quite beautiful. We can be happy that she at least seems to have found a husband. But also, she apparently spent four years in Manhattan, and no other man snapped her up, which probably wouldn’t have been that hard if you tried.

So, just as we Men should resolve to leave aside those women who can serve no useful purpose as a wife and mother, and only strew destruction and chaos in the lives of everyone she comes in contact with, we should also endeavor to make sure that those better sort of women, with whom lie our best hopes, are not abandoned and, most likely, left to accumulate damage and hardship as the years pass by. Those women who probably could be good, and even great, wives and mothers should be given a chance to realize their natural destiny.

Women, as we know, are somewhat shapeless and formless by nature. They are blown about helplessly by their feelings and emotions. They have no principles.

Women look to men to provide order, form, and direction. Women conform to the “container” provided by their surroundings, whether it is the men in their life — their fathers or husbands — or organizations such as schools and corporations, or social pressures, or examples on television.

Thus, men need to provide this “container.” This is “leadership.” Or, it is “frame.” Basically, it means: Tell The Bitches What To Do. It may also include discipline and punishment. Sometimes, in the past, if they deserved it, men would take their wayward wives, tie them to a post, and whip them. No More Mr. Nice Guy. Women were not exactly unhappy about this — especially, if the women knew they deserved it.

Rather, women tended to be disappointed if they did something obviously wrong, and suffered no punishment. WTF kind of half-assed, limp-dick Patriarchy is this, anyway?

Unfortunately, many men today seek favor by conforming to a woman’s wishes. Basically, this is “simping.” First of all, you can’t “conform” to a woman’s wishes, because they change like the wind. There is no “container” to conform to. Women’s wishes are, you could say, limitless. Second, women hate this, because men are essentially acting in a feminine manner. Now there is no order, form and direction, because women can’t, and men won’t.

There are many reasons why men do this. For one thing, they spend nearly all their young lives conforming to women’s wishes — their mothers, and their teachers at school, who are mostly women. For this they are rewarded, while independent-minded men are punished. This does not produce strong men.

But, a man can certainly be kind, generous and loving to a woman, especially if she deserves it. Tell The Bitch What To Do, and then, if she cooperates productively, give her her just reward.

When women quit their jobs to stay at a home and care for their children, sometimes they need to cut back on their expenses. Sometimes this is easy stuff, like skipping a week of skiing in Colorado. But, sometimes it is big stuff, like moving to a smaller house.

But recently, a lot of women have been leaving their jobs for one reason or another, and they end up at home even somewhat unexpectedly. Maybe they got kicked out due to vaccine requirements, or maybe they had to stay at home because the children were attending public school remotely.

Either way, many women found that they quit their jobs, and … they didn’t have to cut back at all. The costs of working were actually more than their net income. They were working for nothing, and they didn’t even know it.

The income of a working wife is subject to payroll and income taxes. Then, with whatever is left over, the household has to pay for childcare expenses. This includes daycare, and it might include private schooling, if you don’t like public schools. Even if you do use public schools, it probably includes some kind of afterschool program. Then, a woman has to pay for the direct costs of working, which includes commuting — probably a second car — lunches, clothing, etc. Then, there is a long list of things that are not direct costs of working, but which tend to arise because a woman is too tired to do typical housewife tasks. This is often a lot of restaurants and takeout. It might include paid activities for the children. It might include babysitting or other expenses.

A big benefit for staying at home, today, is homeschooling. You face either public schools today, which are mediocre even in the best neighborhoods, or private schools which can become very expensive, and even then can be far less than ideal. There may be no good private school alternative in your neighborhood, at any price.

Another important item is food. If you don’t have someone at home preparing healthy meals from scratch, from healthy ingredients, the alternatives are only restaurant food (including fast food and takeout) and prepared foods from supermarkets. These are all bad alternatives. If you eat nothing but restaurant food/fast food/takeout/supermarket prepared foods all day every day, your health is going to suffer.

A stay-at-home Mother might also be involved in elder care. Probably, most women today don’t relish the idea of taking care of her own parents in their decline, or those of her husband, but it is something that women did in the past. This can save a ton of money — money that the family may eventually receive, in the form of an inheritance. But, even while the parents are still alive, let’s say that they are spending $40,000 a year to maintain their own household (with difficulty due to their age), forgetting for now the super-high expenses of assisted living or nursing homes. As part of a woman’s household, their additional costs may be little more than groceries — let’s say, $1000 a month for an elderly couple. If the elderly couple agrees to pay $3000 a month for their upkeep ($36,000 a year), that means an extra $2000 of tax-free cash for the household per month — enough for both house and car payments. Everybody wins.

Then there are the “soft” costs, which are, in many cases, the most important. An overworked woman is in a constant bad mood — as anyone would be, in that situation. This will affect her relationship with her husband and children.

But even if we set this aside, women should sit down and calculate whether they are getting any net monetary benefit at all from working full time. A lot of women weren’t, and had no idea.

I was talking with a friend whose daughter recently had her first baby.

She was making $250,000+ per year doing marketing for pharmaceutical companies. She was planning to go back to work. But, she decided instead to stay at home with her baby.

Her husband doesn’t make as much as she did. The household income will fall by 50%+. She doesn’t care. She figures that they will get by somehow.

Around here, we promote the idea of the stay-at-home Mom. Cut back on expenses if you have to. Some women will be offended by this. But, if you are a woman that actually wants to be a Stay At Home Mom, then do it!

Men sometimes have a problem with this. There was a time when even I thought my wife should go to work, on principle, even though we didn’t need the money. But, she refused. So, guys, go out and make some damn money, and stop complaining. You will be glad you did.

How can you, as a man, do this to your wife? pic.twitter.com/baFC7HZbnq

— Your Favorite Fed 💋 (@amorettelocke) December 7, 2021

This woman really loves her baby. But also, working full time, plus commuting, is a damn grind even without children. This is harder for women. After not working for 12 weeks, I wouldn’t want to go back to work either. And what’s wrong with that?

“Dating is hard for virgins,” especially girls who want to wait until marriage. This is because, as Tom Leykis used to say, “dating is fucking.” Saying that you want to “date but not have sex” is like showing up to a tennis court and saying “I don’t believe in tennis racquets.”

So, you are not going to play that game. You are playing a different game. And, you have to say what the game is that you are playing, so that people don’t expect you to play tennis.

The game you are playing has basically two aspects:

One is casual socializing, without any expectation of sex. This is “below dating.” It is more like “hanging out,” and often happens in groups instead of couples. Courtship, it seems, requires some entry levels that are not all about marriage. In the past, people went on picnics, or had dances, or had clubs of various sorts. There was also “traditional dating,” where people went on dates, but it was understood that no sex was involved. It was just about meeting people. For example, women might schedule three dates in a week, with different men. This was not whoring, it was just meeting people. No kissing.

The other aspect is: Courtship. Here, you are specifically looking for a marriage partner, and you expect to get married perhaps within six months of finding a partner.

Thus, a virgin girl, let’s say of 18, who wants to wait until marriage, might either casually socialize in ways that are definitely not “dating,” probably in groups, or, will be actively engaged in a husband search. There are no “boyfriends.”

Sometimes, a girl won’t be interested in marriage right away, for whatever reason. But, women tended to get married young in the past, Age 16-25 with a peak around 18-20. If you get married at 19, it was because you started your husband search at 16. You can’t really expect a woman to avoid sex until marriage, and then wait until Age 28 to get married. That is bonkers. So, women, if you are going to go the virgin-until-marriage route, that also means that you should get married young. In the past, during the nineteenth century, 23 year old women were not virgins. They were getting pounded four nights a week, on their way to their third child.

Women are confused because it seems like men don’t want to date virgins, but also, that men say they want to marry virgins. It is hard for women to find these marriage-oriented men, who will seriously consider the idea of getting married within about six months, and might marry a girl without having sex first. Also, it is hard for marriage-oriented men to find these young virgin girls — so hard that, although they might definitely entertain the idea of marrying a virgin girl of 18, if one somehow crossed his path, they may not take any actual steps toward achieving that goal. Many of these men might be over the age of 25, and you can’t exactly go hanging around the high school.

In the process of Courtship, you can go on a date. A man should know that no sex is expected. If you are going to get married anyway, within six months or less, then it is not that big a deal to wait a little bit — even, no kissing. Do not rinky-dink around for the 58.7 months it now typically takes for a couple to get married, after their first meeting. Get married or GTFO.

It would be nice if there were dating apps that were specifically for virgin women actively looking for husbands. (Maybe there are.) But, if you are using more mainstream methods, then you should say upfront what game you are playing. Your dating profile should say: I am looking for a husband, to get married within perhaps six months. I am a virgin, and no sex, and no kissing, before getting married.

This will eliminate 98% of men, which is not a bad thing since women get too much attention to deal with anyway. If your matches go from 800 to 5, what’s wrong with that?

From a man’s perspective, let’s say that he was actually interested in finding a good wife, and would prefer a virgin bride of 18-20, of course accepting that there would be no sex until marriage. How would this man find a girl like that?

So, basically, for young women of perhaps 16-20 who wonder how this is supposed to work, you have to say:

PICK MEEEEEEE to be your wife and the mother of your children, because I am a virgin girl who wants to get married soon! I am so much better than all those other hoes! (Which is true.)

Don’t keep it a secret, that you mention hesitantly on your third date. Not gonna work.

This will make a lot of sense to men. They will understand.