There’s an attitude common among women these days that “his money is our money, but my money is my money.” A working wife keeps her own assets, while the husband is expected to pay all joint expenses. Of course “his money is our money” also means: I get to decide how to spend his money. This is horrible and no man should tolerate it.
Remember my rule: His Money is His Money. If a man is the sole earner in the household, then he decides how to spend the money. Typically, a stay-at-home wife will receive a monthly budget for her household expenses, decided upon by the husband. A wife can take part in the decision-making process, but in the end, the husband decides how to spend the money. Mostly, men will tend toward frugality and savings. Men are abstract thinkers. They think in terms of building assets, even if those “assets” consist of numbers in a monthly account statement. Women tend to be much more physical and tactile. They want something they can touch. A big house feels “safe” to a woman, but feels dangerous to a man. A woman “feels like” she has a lot of stuff when she has a big house, and this stuff is a buffer against risk, while a man is calculating the consequences of the annual percentage rate and insurance costs. Also, women tend to be much more aware of social standing. They want what other women have. Men don’t care as much. When they arrive at the office, everyone looks about the same, from the CEO down to the intern. “Social standing” for a man is more about his occupation and position. Women don’t care much about a man’s occupation and position, except to the extent that it results in cashflow.
Some men, even those who are sole earners, simply give their money over to their wives to spend. They have “joint bank accounts.” Never do this. Keep a separate bank account, and then, give your wife a monthly budget for her expenses. Control the money.
In this as in all things, the problem is that: Even if a woman wants control over the money, and even if she is genuinely better at handling it (it happens), she will never respect a man that allows her to do this. When a man handles the money, everyone is happy. When a woman does, problems are the inevitable result. After all, what is the point of “his money is our money, but my money is my money” anyway? Basically, it is preparation for divorce. A woman prepares for divorce because she can’t see herself staying with a man who allows her to kick him around in this fashion. It is stupid, yes. Men would not do this, to their wives or each other. But, that is what women do. They can’t help themselves.
So, we come to the situations where both husband and wife are earning money. I don’t think this is a good idea, especially when children are involved. Nevertheless, it is common. I will admit at the outset that it is a little difficult when a woman is earning a lot more than her husband — more than 50% more. Let’s set that aside for now. In all other cases, the wife should hand over her income to her husband, to control. Women are usually apoplectic about this. But, it is what many men do today, even though they shouldn’t. So, you are not asking her to do anything different than what many men do, and probably, what she is asking you to do. Then, give some of it back to her, as her monthly budget.
The Surrendered Wife (1999), by Laura Doyle, has a chapter specifically about this. It is a worthwhile book for many other reasons too. Basically, the point of the book is: women are happy when men have control, and unhappy when women have control. This is also true of finances. Indeed, I would say that if the man doesn’t control the money, then all of his other “taking the lead” actions are mostly theater.
At first, surrendering control of the finances seemed suicidal to me. I believed that if I didn’t police the money that was coming in and going out of our bank account, my husband would spend it, well, wrong. …
The unromantic mother/son dynamic (where you tell your husband how much he can spend or what he can buy) is the first thing to go when you let him manage the finances. Remember: Men are not attracted to their mothers. [She should say: women are not attracted to their sons.] …
I know that if you’re a breadwinner, the idea of turning over your entire paycheck sounds particularly loathsome. However, if you’ve been managing a joint checking account where his money is deposited, then he was doing the very thing you’re dreading. If he was willing to do this, why shouldn’t you be?
In practice, certain recurring bills can be left for a wife to take care of. This would be the electricity, cell phone, internet, heat, and other such expenses. Make them part of her budget. But, the big things, including large purchases such as furniture or appliances, vacations, and payments on the house or car, should be handled by the husband.
For new mothers, I would avoid all vaccines, and avoid doctors. The main reason for “well child checkups” is to pressure you to get vaccines. Just forget about them. If “refusing” vaccines makes you uncomfortable, then choose to “delay” them. For many years, Japan did not recommend any vaccines for infants under 2yo, due to the increased dangers.
Just delay, delay, and delay, until about Age 6, and then forget all about it.
Home birth is an option, although childbirth really can be somewhat dangerous, so if you choose to go to a hospital, that is OK too. But after the birth, stay away from vaccines and doctors, unless there is a real medical issue.
For a simple fever, Tylenol is a quick and effective remedy.
There are good reasons for men to avoid marriage these days, but still, you should never tell women that “marriage is dead.” This is because women do what you tell them to do. They really don’t have much analytical ability, so they have to, by default, go by the guidance of others. If you tell them that “marriage is dead,” they will hear: “The male leaders of our tribe have a new plan that does not involve marriage.” Then, women will kill marriage.
Or, they will look for some other tribe, since this one seems like it isn’t going to work out well. When women hear about MGTOW, they don’t see it is a rational, albeit regrettable, reaction to present conditions. They hear it as a plan. A Frame.
Rather, we should support the institution of marriage, because we really have no other means of raising children properly, and also, there are a lot of other benefits when marriage works well. In the past, before 1910, only about 5% of marriages ended in divorce. So, at least by that metric, it can work.
So, you should tell women: “We really need to fix the institution of marriage, so that it will provide benefits to all of us again, as it did in the past.” If you say this, women will help you fix the institution of marriage, so that it provides benefits to all of us again, as it did in the past. You should tell women: “These are the main problems ABC, and these are the solutions XYZ.”
Not all women, of course. But, some will join your tribe. Because, what are their alternatives?
The challenges of being a rich guy’s wife are a little different than for the middle class. All you have to do is follow the gossip mags to find many, many examples of terrible wives of rich guys. But, this also means that there is a very, very small population of good wives for rich guys. Since rich guys aren’t stupid, they know this, and are on the lookout for good wives. If you are the kind of woman who would be a good wife for a rich guy, and you put yourself in his path, he might take you up on the offer.
Don’t Make Problems: Being rich, there aren’t many external problems facing the wife of a rich guy. Obviously, you have plenty of money. If there is some other kind of problem, you can usually solve it by spending money, hiring some specialist to take care of it for you. It would seem like being a rich guy’s wife is the easiest thing in the world. But, most actual wives of rich guys are a dismal failure.
What The Fuck Is This? Bill Fucking Gates does not have to wash the dishes. If you don’t want to wash the dishes, then hire someone to do it. Do not make up problems out of thin air. Or, just wash the dishes yourself. What’s so hard about washing the dishes? Don’t make it into a problem. Are you going to be the kind of Rich Guy’s Wife who has a problem with washing the dishes?
In other words, wives must be agreeable and cooperative. No complaining, contentiousness, nagging, disagreeableness, or dissatisfaction.
Insist On A Prenuptial Agreement: As a potential rich guy’s wife, I wouldn’t just acquiesce to a prenuptial agreement, I would insist on it. If you come into the marriage with (relatively) nothing, then you would leave with nothing — perhaps, not even the custody of your children, if he would prefer to keep them. As a Wonderful Wife, this is irrelevant, because you are not going to Make Problems, and you are not going to get divorced. If your rich-guy husband really treats you badly (some of them can be a little freaky), you can leave. But, that doesn’t mean you get a big payout for destroying his family. If he initiates the divorce, which you do not want, then you can perhaps agree to a certain lump-sum payout, which is ample but not punitive in nature. This will tell a rich guy very clearly that you are not a gold-digger. This will immediately put you in the minority of all the women he meets.
Stay in Shape: As a rich guy’s wife, you must be presentable. This means figure, and dress. Just do it like Melania Trump. Work out every day, and eat healthy food. You don’t have to be a stunning beauty, like Melania, to be a rich guy’s wife. Seriously, 7/10 is enough, and practically any woman can do this if she works out regularly, eats healthy food, and makes a little effort toward beautifying herself (not too much makeup). This is because of all the other good things that you bring to the table.
Realize that you might have a lot of alone time: A lot of rich guys are very busy. They aren’t going to be around most of the time. Don’t make a big deal about it. He’s off somewhere else, and you can spend his money. What is so bad about that? You can mention that you might like more time doing something together. He might cancel some business and take you on a trip for the weekend. You don’t have to suffer in silence. But, whatever the outcome is, do not make a big deal about it, and don’t complain. What do you think a rich guy is going to do when, during the little time he has available with his family, you mess it all up with your complaining and horseshit? Do you think that, maybe, he will tend to spend more time at the office? Rather, focus on making your limited time together fun and pleasant. What is a rich guy going to do when faced with the choice of spending fun and pleasant time with you, and heading back to the office? This is not very hard to figure out, but most rich guy’s wives blow it.
Don’t spend stupid amounts of money. You can spend on things appropriate for a rich guy’s wife. Of course you will have nice clothes and a fancy car, and regular lunches in high-end restaurants with your lady friends. But, don’t get into a spiral of materialism, where you are buying five new outfits every weekend that you will never wear. Don’t insist on owning stupidly expensive stuff because some other rich guy’s wife has it — a vacation property in Vail, or a private jet, or a Bentley. Just drive your Lexus, get a hotel on vacation, and don’t worry about it. Be content. Because, if you aren’t content with your wealthy lifestyle as it is, you won’t be content with anything. So, practice being content.
Take Good Care of your Man: Being rich often comes with many challenges. Be supportive and caring for your husband. At the very least, do not make new problems to add to his existing problems. But, after you have done that, you can then start making things better for him. Give him a back massage and listen to his problems, if he wants to share them with you.
Take Care of your Wifely Duties: Mostly, this is likely to be childcare, housekeeping and home decorating. But, instead of doing it yourself, as a middle-class wife would, you might be hiring others to do this. Anyway, get it done at a high standard. But, also, don’t waste your husband’s time and energy with these things. He does not want to get into a big discussion about what the color of the paint in the third bathroom of your second vacation house should be. He has other things to worry about.
Don’t Drink or Do Drugs. Unfortunately, some wives get bored, and they end up drinking and doing drugs. Do not do this. From time to time, you might become pleasantly tipsy with your Rich Guy, followed by hot sex. But, don’t do drugs even if he does.
Initiate Sex Regularly. Ask him if he wants to do it. Don’t wait for him to ask you; at least, not all the time. Wear lingerie without having him ask you. No dead bedrooms. Plus, Be A Sex Goddess.
Be Unfailingly Faithful. Absolutely no fooling around. Be a Model Wife. Do not get involved with your personal trainer or tennis instructor — even if all your other rich guy’s wife friends are. No “girls’ night out,” which can easily lead to “girls’ week in Spain together,” even if other men’s wives do this.
Accept His Fooling Around. Women are throwing themselves at rich guys all the time. “They let you grab them by the pussy,” as Donald Trump once said. But, rich guys don’t get rich by doing stupid things. Mostly, they won’t jeapoardize their families or reputation. They won’t dump you for another woman, even if you are afraid of that. Sometimes, there are weird sex freaks, such as Jeffrey Epstein and his friends. Then, you might be best off just leaving. But, most men are not like that. I would tell your husband that you do not like his fooling around, and that you don’t want him to jeapoardize the family (and your cushy position as his wife). You don’t want him to give you any diseases, or waste a lot of his money on other women. Tell him to keep it in a separate compartment, away from you and the children. Tell him also, that you will remain unfailingly faithful no matter what he does. Also, being perfectly faithful, you also expect some attention yourself from time to time. He will likely be shamed into, at least, rolling it back. Just do it like Jackie Kennedy. Don’t get divorced over it. Get into the idea of being competitive; in other words, be more of a Sex Goddess than the other women. This is not very difficult. That 25yo 10/10 Hot Side Chick is 50%+ likely to be a frigid starfish. If you are in good shape and also a Sex Goddess, you can be his best option well into your forties or even fifties. You don’t want to get into: “I am mad at you for fooling around with a younger, hotter woman, so I refuse to have sex with you.” Like that is going to work. Like a rich guy doesn’t have options, and has to put up with this. But, a lot of women try it anyway.
A Sex Goddess doesn’t fake it. She knows how to have a good time, for real.
It would be best if, as a Sex Goddess with a slim, firm body even at your age, who is also perfectly faithful, and initiates sex herself from time to time, you were enough for a rich man. For many rich men, it is enough; and they devote their remaining energies elsewhere. There is no need to be gluttonous. But, maybe you are not so lucky. Maybe you are afraid that you will be replaced by a younger, hotter woman. But, you might consider that, if a rich man can be married to a Wonderful Wife like yourself, and also discreetly get some hot action on the side, this is a much better situation for him than dumping you, and marrying a younger, hotter woman, who is 99%+ likely NOT to be a Wonderful Wife, because women who are fooling around with married men just don’t work out well. In a divorce, either you are going to get the children, or he will. In the first case, he will lose his children, which can be very traumatic for men. In the second case, someone needs to take care of the children; and, who better than their own biological mother; especially if, in all other things, she is a Wonderful Wife? He won’t replace you.
Raise his children well: A lot of child-raising duties can be outsourced to others. Maybe they will go off to boarding school at the age of 12. However, you should still be a great mother to your children, and take an active role in raising them. Sometimes, rich guy’s wives want to act like they aren’t even mothers at all. They are off in Switzerland for three weeks, abandoning their children at home, who end up making friends with the cleaning staff at the country club because there are no other adults to care for them. Also, no hireling, such as a nanny or governor, is ever going to have the close connection that a real mother has. A rich guy’s wife might get involved in many childcare duties similar to a middle-class wife, even though she can afford to pay for others to do it. Are you going to deprive your own child of a Mother, simply because you can afford to? Skip the nanny, and do it yourself. Breastfeed. Maybe, homeschool.
Cook: Maybe you and your rich guy husband are fine with a professional cooking staff. But, when a wife does the cooking herself, it shows a personal level of care and concern. Besides, cooking is fun. Become a great cook. Use that fabulous dream kitchen. What else are you going to do all day?
Do Not Associate With the Bad Wives of Rich Men. Most rich men’s wives are bad wives. Just look at any of the Real Housewives shows on TV. These are stupid drama, but alas, common stupid drama. Realize that, as a Wonderful Rich Man’s Wife, you are going to be very different from other rich men’s wives. Try to find other Wonderful Wives of rich men to associate with. If you can’t find any, then go with the Wonderful Wives of upper-middle-class men.
Don’t work. You don’t have to work. So, don’t. Taking care of children and home, at a rich guy standard, can be very involving. You don’t need to earn any feminist merit badges as some other guy’s employee. Do not get Married to the Corporation. But, at some point, you might have a little too much leisure time on your hands. Probably, this is when the children are somewhat older, and out of the house. Talk to your husband about whether it is OK with him if you begin some kind of commercial endeavor. Since you don’t have to work, make it something worthwhile.
Undertake Your Rich Guy’s Wife Duties With Skill: This means things like being presentable in society, and handling various social responsibilities. When you are at a dinner party or gallery opening, make him proud that you are his wife. Be a skillful member of his team. Write thank-you notes, and do all that social stuff.
No Plastic Surgery: Just say to no to plastic surgery, botox, fillers, implants, liposuction, and all the other dismal stuff along those lines. Just work out every day, eat healthy food, use a little (but not too much) makeup, and wear nice, age-appropriate clothes. A rich guy’s wife is a woman who knows how to age with dignity and style. When you are 45, wear clothes that are appropriate for Age 45 (that is, not too much skin), which look really good on you because you have a slammin’ body, for your age. Don’t try to look like 25 year old. You cannot, but will look bad trying. Melania, who really was a professional bikini model, doesn’t do that stuff. Wear a bra, and don’t worry about it. A rich guy’s wife, if she takes care of herself, can be a 9/10 or 10/10 for her age group, even if she was a 7/10 at Age 22, and rich guys understand and appreciate this.
Melania, crushing it at Age 30.
Melania Trump, still dressed like a champion at Age 45.
Melania, Age 18. Basically an 8/10.
Don’t Get Divorced. Just don’t do it. Except in some extreme situations, where your rich guy husband is some kind of freaky Satanist, there should be no good reason for it. If you Don’t Make Problems out of thin air for no good reason, probably there will be no problems leading to a divorce. Among college-educated women, women initiate divorce 90% of the time. Don’t be one of those women. If you do get divorced — because he made problems, not you — then leave with what you came with, or a modest payout, which still might be enough to live comfortably for all the remaining days of your life.
Your goal is not to bag a rich guy by promising to be a wonderful wife. It is to actually be a wonderful wife, to plan on that beforehand, and act like one even before you are married. Rich guys will definitely notice. You will stand out, among all the other women who are letting him grab them by the pussy. Because, that is all they have to offer. Just look at the long line of women who had the chance to be a rich guy’s wife, got married to a rich guy, and blew it.
Mostly, all you have to do is Be Nice and Look Good. Seriously, that is all. But, for some reason, most rich guy’s wives can’t do it.
Whether or not abortion should be legal is a legitimate debate. In the past, it was legitimately debated, in State Legislatures. This is our Democratic Republican system — which, in the 1960s, included full voting rights for women. State Legislatures made their decisions on the topic.
Before the Roe Vs. Wade decision by the US Federal Supreme Court in 1973, 30 States had banned abortions, 16 States made them legal under certain circumstances, 3 States allowed residents to obtain abortions, and New York State allowed abortions freely (including non-residents). Probably, you could have also made a trip to Tijuana if you wanted to.
In Roe Vs. Wade, the Supreme Court claimed that the U.S. Constitution — that document written mostly by James Madison in the late 1780s — gave women a legal right to abortions.
The effect of this was that all the laws enacted by duly-elected State governments, through the democratic-republic process, with full voting rights for women, were invalidated. The laws were decided by nine unelected men wearing black robes.
Whaaaaat? Where in the Constitution was this written?
After all, it has to be written somewhere. In print. Where was it? Why hadn’t prior generations of Americans noticed this earlier? It’s not like the Constitution is as long as the World Book Encyclopedia. Show me.
The Fourteenth Amendment was ratified in 1868, and gave Black Americans freed from slavery (Thirteenth Amendment) the same legal rights as other Americans. Here is the entire text of the Fourteenth Amendment.
All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law.
In 1868, this meant: Recently freed Blacks would have the same legal protections as all other citizens, such as a trial by jury.
But, in 1973, the Supreme Court argued that the duly elected State legislatures, having made laws regarding abortion according to the wishes of the citizens of their State; and the Justice system enforcing those laws in those States, were not “due process.” Instead, the Supreme Court argued that, whatever seven out of nine judges agreed on, was “due process.” They just made it up out of thin air.
Yes, they really did that, and called it “due process.”
For a long discussion about this, I recommend Robert Bork’s book, The Tempting of America.
Now, we should remember that the reason that abortion was banned in most States in 1970, was because the legalized-abortion group could not win a legislative victory. The preponderance of public opinion was against legalized abortions, which was reflected in State legislation, duly arrived at through the elections of State Congresspeople. But, in some places, the legalized-abortion group did win a legislative victory, notably in New York State.
In other words, Roe Vs. Wade is a legal abomination. It may be that, if we were to eliminate this abomination, and return to a condition where State governments could pass legislation on these important topics in reflection of prevailing opinion, there would be more States today that allow abortion than was the case in 1972. Probably, Massachusetts would, and Texas would not. The worst thing that would happen is that a woman might want to buy a Greyhound bus ticket to Massachusetts. Maybe this could be paid for by a private charity, funded by people who thought this was important. Oh the horror.
Instead, we have a situation where infanticide, or baby-murder, is not only legal but actually publicly subsidized, because seven guys wearing funny clothes claimed that this was written in the Fourteenth Amendment; and unfortunately, the Constitution gives us no way of taking these dickheads and kicking them in the ass. (Thomas Jefferson said that this was a major defect of the Constitution.) You can see why people are a little unhappy about that.
Recently, some TradGirls on Twitter were complaining about Manospherians who were saying that: these days, if you are looking for a wife, 22 is too old!
These women were confused. So, since this blog is (hypothetically) for girls and young women, let me explain it to you.
Let’s say that you had four preferences for a wife.
Debt-Free Virgin No Tattoos Not Overweight or Obese
This is not that difficult a list. Every woman is capable of this. It is not something that naturally excludes most of the population, like a requirement that men be 6′ or taller, or in the top 20% of income. It does not require any special skill or achievement, like playing the piano or dancing ballet.
In the old days, there were a lot of 25yo single women who fit this description. Probably 80% of 18yos did.
Today, among 18-year-olds, about 20% fit this description. Among the better sort of girls, that might be headed for a four-year university, it is more like 40%. That is not too bad.
But, among single women Age 22, even among the graduates of four-year colleges, only about 10% fit this description. Maybe less than that.
Something happened between Age 18 and 22 that reduced the number of single women fitting this rather modest list of requirements by 75% or more. Basically, what happened is: These women were living on their own, outside of their Father’s house.
Add to that the fact that, among those women that have a natural tendency to form long-lasting, stable, mutually-beneficial, monogamous relationships, most of them have already done so by Age 22. Although they might not get married until Age 26 or Age 28, most of them are off the market. They are no longer single. Sometimes, women get into an extended relationship around Age 19 or 22, which goes on about five or six years, and ends without resulting in marriage. These women are back on the market, maybe around Age 26 or 28. But, since their tendencies are to create lasting, long-term relationships, and now they are more focused on marriage, they are usually available for only a short time, and are soon married.
That’s why, if you’re looking for Slim Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos that make Good Wives, most of them are gone by Age 22. If you want to catch them, you have to go younger. It’s not the way it should be. It’s just the way it is.
But, in the old days, the best girls were all gone by Age 22 then too. They got married Age 18-20. Do you think they wanted to stay virgins until Age 25? In those days, women wanted to make babies, just like they do today.
I have a friend with a 12yo daughter who is going to be a babe in a few years, if she doesn’t get fat. On top of that, she is homeschooled on a rural homestead, and is really a splendid girl. There aren’t that many girls like this around. It would be a waste to send her off to college, or for her to marry within the rather limited selection of local young men. She would be a good wife for a rich man. Wealthier young men today have all the female attention they want, but they also know that these women make bad wives. If the time comes for them to look for a wife, they might be on the lookout for a different sort of woman. But, how would these two get together?
I mentioned earlier the example of Steve Cohen, one of the wealthiest and most successful hedge fund managers of his generation, who married a woman of a modest background. Apparently, this worked quite well. While the other men of his cohort suffered through years of difficulty and divorce with their trophy wives/former hoes, Cohen is still happily married after thirty years and four children.
Today Cohen is old, fat, bald, and ugly (and worth over $10 billion). But, when he got married in 1991, he was a good looking guy.
One reason for Cohen’s choice was probably his first wife. She didn’t go well:
Steve Cohen married his first wife in 1979 when he was just 23 years old, and a year out of college. Her name was Patricia Fink. The couple had two children during the time of their marriage but things didn’t work out between them. The marriage ended in divorce in 1988, after just nine years. The relationship would turn bitter years afterward when his ex-wife attempted to sue him and accused him of operating a racketeering scheme, and hiding millions of dollars from her so he wouldn’t have to settle in divorce court. She further accused him of making money from insider trading in 1985, while the couple was still together. She began the litigation against Cohen in 2009 and the battle ensued for nearly 2 years, but in 2011, the case she had filed against him was dismissed.
Typical crazy-ass bitch. She basically won the lottery — she was a billionaire’s wife — and all she had to do was treat him nicely, stay in shape, maybe excuse a few infidelities, and raise his children.
Since our rich young man is not likely to go looking under rocks in rural homesteads, the burden is upon our young woman to go and meet him. Fortunately, there is a way to do that. Here is WikiHow on: How To Find Rich Men. Here is a list of the best dating apps for wealthy singles (they mean wealthy men); and here is another.
Obviously, you are going to have to bring your best game here. You need to be an 8/10 or better. (For a wife, instead of a side chick, 8/10 is enough.) You have to dress like you belong in the company of wealthy men. It would help if you were pretty well educated, although you don’t need to go to a top university.
But, on top of this, you have something else that the zombie hordes of hot young hoes do not. Basically, you are Wife Material. If a man asks himself: “Which of these women do I want to be the mother of my children? Which woman can be entrusted with my future happiness?” the answer is obvious. I suggest a dating app profile that looks like this:
You just lay it out for our young man: I am a tippy-top Good Wife girl, looking for a Good Man. Take me on a Date, but no kissing until after we are married.
This is so weird that our young man might do it just out of sheer curiosity.
A small group of affluent, marriage minded young men have already figured out: “No Hymen, No Diamond.” To which you can answer: “No Diamond, No Hymen.”
I don’t know if this would work. But, you might as well try.
Humans lived in mud huts for tens of thousands of years. Then, Something Happened. Men built Civilization.
Here is a comment from “Elspeth,” a woman:
Men are the builders of stable civilizations; women can’t do it. We can only help create functioning societies inside of the framework of what men build. If the men are not interested in building traditional, stable, virtuous communities for building families and passing on the faith to children born in them, there’s is no point in expecting women to be able to right the ship.
We are not equipped. There’s a reason why you don’t find women leaders in the Bible until the ship is way, way off course.
What women can do is preserve. They can continue in the patterns that they have been taught. You often see churches these days with women the most active part of the congregation, in an effort to preserve the congregation. You see women teaching their children in much the same way as she herself was taught (for better or worse).
But, women do not build: that is, make anew.
Remember our principles around here:
Get up off your knees.
Get your Patriarchy On.
Tell the Bitches What To Do.
Believe it or not, if it makes sense to them, they will actually do it! This is because women soon discover that, left to their own “feelings,” they are adrift and soon come to harm. “What women want” is like a flamethrower that burns down everything around it. Women come to understand this: without male guidance, they are lost, like a ship without a rudder. They then seek male guidance for their own survival. This may come from a corporation, the government, or some other institution (Frame) that takes the male role in a woman’s life.
If left to women alone, they would not even be able to live in mud huts. They would soon starve to death, while bickering among themselves. When men are left alone, they are soon rebuilding civilization. As soon as they achieve some base level of success, they then try to make it bigger; better; faster; easier. Bear Grylls did a season of The Island with separate men’s and women’s groups. At one point, the producers apparently released a small pig in both the women’s and men’s groups. The men naturally killed and ate the pig, aiding in their group survival. This is not as easy as it sounds, and required them to do a lot of things they had no experience in. But, they understood what their team needed, and did it. The women, starving to death, made the pig into a pet. This was done apparently due to their “feelings” — they didn’t want to kill the pig.
For some reason, men today think that if they complain enough, women are going to fix the problem. That is actually not too far off: If you stop complaining, and just tell them what to do, women will actually fix the problem!
Recently, I was rereading, with new appreciation, Courtship in Crisis: The Case For Traditional Dating by Thomas Umstadt Jr. Among other things, it is a chronicle of the failures of Modern Courtship over the past thirty years. Since I am promoting Courtship around here, we also want to avoid all the problems of Modern Courtship. Among them, it turned out to be a very bad way to get married. Highly prospective, marriage-minded singles stayed single. Many of the men, after suffering multiple rejections often by “Dragon Fathers,” had to leave Courtship circles and engage in Modern Dating in order to find a wife. Many of the women cried themselves to sleep (really) wondering why nobody seemed interested in them. In the old days, it was imperative upon Fathers and Mothers to get those girls out of the house, around Age 18-20, ideally married to the best sort of men, but get it done one way or another.
Umstadt lays out four stages of “Traditional Dating,” as it was actually practiced in some communities in the 1950s. Apparently, this was quite successful. Since people got married young then, it is mostly a guide for Dating among people aged 13-20.
Dating. This is strictly noncommittal. One of the rules was actually: Do not go on a date with the same boy twice in a row. Once you have decided that, it is not hard to add a few more. No kissing. Be home by 10pm (for older girls). Younger girls (Age 13-15) would probably be home before dinner. Limit dates to no more than two hours. No boyfriends. The goal is to get used to dating, and to meet a variety of different boys in a safe and noncommittal way. Girls went on a lot of dates — fifty or more — but there was nothing slutty about it. A major point of the book is that young people need something easy and accessible. In the Modern Dating framework, a date has an implicit commitment of sex, or Long Term Relationship; in Modern Courtship, it has an implicit commitment of marriage. Are we going to hook up? Does she expect me to take her back to my apartment? Are we going to Start a Relationship? Are we going to bang on the first date? The second? The third? Here, these extra commitments are explicitly excluded. The answer is: no, no, no no and no. You can just have a good time.
Going Steady. Here, a girl (or young woman) and a boy (or young man) see each other exclusively, and often, as preparation for a potential proposal of marriage. It makes sense that, if you were getting close to the proposal stage, you would maybe want to stop seeing other men or women. There would be some serious discussions. Still, no “boyfriends” or “girlfriends” here. No kissing. Just a “potential wife” or a “potential husband.” You could still break it off, and since you were never really a couple, but just discussing that, there wouldn’t be too much breakup trauma. This stage does not last long. It is not a steady state. You either get a proposal, or you cut it off. No wasting time.
Engaged. After a proposal of marriage is accepted, with parents’ approval of course, a couple is engaged. This would not take too long — a few days up to a few months, basically long enough to plan a wedding. Still, no kissing is necessary here, since if you are going to get married soon, and then go on a nonstop sex extravaganza for a week or even a month (a honeymoon), who cares really?
Married. You may now kiss the bride.
When I look at this proposal, it looks to me a lot like Courtship around 1850, but with the substitution of going on Dates for the prior customs of Visiting at the family house, or organized social Dances. Visiting, which seems strange and difficult to us today, might have actually been a nice, low-stress way of going about things. A girl would have established Visiting Hours, and you would just go up to the door and Visit. Like seeing a movie. You would probably get to know the parents in a casual, informal sort of way, since you would be over there a lot. You would meet some brothers and sisters. Not only would this tell you something about the people that would be part of your family, it would also tell you something about how the girl was raised. Nevertheless, today we tend to Go On Dates (which is not the same as “Dating”), and why not.
Cornerstone 