How To Be A Wonderful Rich Guy’s Wife #2: Kill Off The Side Chick

We were discussing how to be not just a Good Wife, but a Wonderful Wife for a rich guy, who rarely end up with good wives, much less wonderful ones. Unfortunately, one common challenge for the Wonderful Wife of a rich guy is: some variant of the Side Chick.

Your rich guy is not likely to be a Wonderful Husband, who would never consider such a thing. He is likely to be a man of average virtue, who is exposed to waaaaay-above-average levels of temptation. Maybe, before long, there might be some sort of Side Chick.

What then? 99% of women would march straight off to the divorce lawyer, full of righteous indignation. Do not do this.

Let’s see what Debi Pearl, author of Created to be His Helpmeet (2014) has to say about it:

Your husband is, without a doubt, wrong. It would be wonderful if he were wise and godly, but he isn’t. [ed note: he is rich, which is not too bad.] … You now stand where millions of wives have stood. …

Yes, he is wrong, but your response, though justified, will certainly lead to the destruction of your marriage. … if you really, honestly want to win your husband back, you must change your game plan. Face it: you have a competitor. She is your rival. …

Your husband is going to love what is lovely to him. … The tool of your warfare is your loving, kind, delightful, radiant, adoring self. …

[Debi Pearl recommends being loving, kind, delightful, radiant, and adoring during the whole day, but she doesn’t stop there.]

Call his work, with a giggle in your voice, and give him fair warning that you expect “some loving” when he gets home …

[Now we get out the big guns.]

Once or twice a month, show up at work during lunchtime for a brief unexpected visit. Make sure you are looking radiant and delightfully in love. Your very sweetness and thankfulness toward your man will make that cheap office hussy feel she is beneath your class. And your “innocence” and confidence will cause all the men in the office to be angry at “the woman” for her underhanded advances. …

[And just in case you haven’t got the point yet:]

Be creative and aggressive in your private, intimate times. Keep him drained at home so he won’t have any sexual need at work. … God is on your side. Fight and win.

If a rich’s guys wife did this, she would enter into the Olympic Class of wonderful wives. For one thing, a rich guy knows that 99 out of 100 women would drag him through divorce court, instead of “keeping him drained at home.” He will know that his wife is a 1 in 100, or better.

Be Your Own Mom

Confused women on Twitter:

I don’t know why this is hard, but that’s why you have to 3) Tell The Bitches What To Do.

Stay at home daughter: This is what women did in the past, before they got married. But, they got married around Age 18-20. Women who stayed at their parents’ house were Spinsters — that is, they made themselves useful by spinning thread and weaving cloth. So, if you did go back to your parents’ house, it would be to get married right away. But, you can already get married right away, so what do you need to go to your parents’ house for? Just get married. The idea of a stay-at-home daughter was that she was protected by her Father from the degenerate world; basically, it means that she was a virgin. But, a woman that has already gone to college and then lives unsupervised in Sodom on the Hudson doesn’t exactly have a lot of cred when it comes to Purity and Innocence.

Au Pair in France: France is nice, but an au pair is basically a nanny, or a servant that does motherly duties for young children. It is what poor young women did, at least until they got married. So, just get married. If you want, get married to a French guy, make some babies, and then be a mother to your own children, not somebody else’s. Just say that you want to marry a French guy and live in France. If you are not too ugly and not too much of a loudmouth you might get your wish.

I used to know a Japanese woman living in Tokyo, at a big company, who had a bad case of Norway. She was nuts for everything Norwegian. She even look lessons in the Norwegian language. Yes, she married a Norwegian guy, and now lives in Norway.

In other words, just get married and make babies. Be a stay-at-home wife and mother. I suggest saying so publicly too: “I want to get married, have children, and be a stay-at-home Wife and Mother, preferably in France.”

Eat Good Food

Whether you are 15 or 81, a woman these days needs to focus on eating good food. Most of the stuff that people eat today is not good for them, and you can see the results: the ugliest and unhealthiest people ever.

The quality of your food matters more than the quantity. “Dieting” through calorie restriction doesn’t work well, and is no fun. If you eat good food, and get regular exercise, your body will tend to naturally maintain itself in a slim condition.

About all that a young woman needs to do to Be a Babe is to eat good food, exercise regularly, and pay a little attention to beautification. Your body type doesn’t really matter that much. Fortunately, this is about the least competitive environment for young women in all of US history. Easily 30%-40% of all women under age 30 end up Fugly, mostly due to their own carelessness rather than any inherent disadvantage.

Later, one of a wife and mother’s primary duties will be to prepare good food for her family.

Mostly, this “good food” means food prepared “from scratch,” or from single ingredients. Don’t buy things in the supermarket with a list of ingredients. You can make a few minor exceptions, mostly for condiments like ketchup and mustard, but even then, look for products that might be organic or have no funny things in their ingredients. Visit the produce section, the meat section, pick up some laundry detergent, and you are done. All those other aisles of packaged foods are not for you.

Although I would caution against using food with any kinds of ingredients, I would especially caution against “natural ingredients.” What is this? It can be anything, as long as it comes from a natural source. For example, if you make MSG in a chemical factory, but use soybeans as a starting point, you can call it “natural ingredients.” Also, even the ingredients that seem relatively harmless, would be better if you used better-quality alternatives. For example, a salad dressing that contains canola oil is not going to be as good for you as one that you made at home with organic olive oil.

Focus on fruits and vegetables. If you like, you can have meat, or perhaps, if that is not your style, then you can go in more of a vegan direction. There is a lot of focus on meat-heavy diets these days, but actually, Americans eat twice as much meat today as they did in 1900, and it is still going up. You could cut your meat intake in half, and it would still be a lot of meat. The main advantage of a meat-heavy diet is not that meat is so good for you, but it is better than processed foods made from GMO corn and soy, white sugar, seed oils, and stuff with weird additives. Meat is a single-ingredient food.

I would de-emphasize the “white foods,” including refined grains (white flour), sugar (white sugar), and vegetable oils, and things made from them (doughnuts). People ate chocolate cake in the past, and ice cream, but they didn’t eat it all the time, like people do today.

Around here, we look for bulk foods of high quality. We get organic rice or various sorts of organic beans, mostly in 25lb bags. Other bulky foundation foods include potatoes, onions, squash, beets and turnips. You can buy a 50lb bag of potatoes for $18.

Although we are not strictly no-wheat around here, we stay away from modern wheat. Unfortunately, although wheat has been a core element of the European diet since antiquity, common wheat underwent a change around 1980 that seems to have rendered it slightly toxic. I consider regular wheat a “GMO” food although this is not quite strictly true. This includes organic wheat. Instead, look for pre-1960 forms of wheat, or even pre-1700 forms. This includes: einkorn, emmer, and spelt. Einkorn is the original grain domesticated in Mesopotamia about 10,000 years ago. By the age of the Romans and Egyptians, the common form of wheat was Emmer. You can buy organic einkorn and emmer flour today, and make bread from it if you like. It is much heavier and crumblier than wheat bread — somewhat like cornbread — but it is satisfying nevertheless if you want something like “bread.” I think this is better than “gluten-free flour” alternatives. They work especially well for uses where you don’t need something so fluffy, like a cupcake. Try einkorn pasta (which you can purchase readymade, try vitacost.com), or pancakes made from emmer flour. Or, you can just skip the wheat. Asians didn’t use it.

Canning is a good way to prepare instant foods for later. It is not hard to put pasta sauces or soups into 1 qt. Mason jars. Put together 16 quarts of chili or minestrone soup on Saturday, and can it into jars. Then, whenever you want something quick, just open a jar and reheat it. Since you made it yourself, it will be much better quality than almost anything you can buy in a store.

Fruit is a nice instant food. You don’t have to cook it. You can just eat it. However, fruit often needs to be ripened. This is somewhat strange to some people. What, I can’t just eat it? Just set it aside somewhere to ripen. But, don’t forget it. Keep an eye on it, so you can eat it at its peak. A watermelon or pineapple makes a nice lunch. Just some watermelon or pineapple. That’s all.

Fruit is seasonal, so eat a lot of what’s in season. If it’s not in season, skip it until it is. Watermelon is a summer fruit. Cherries are available in early summer. Citrus is winter fruit. Apples ripen in the autumn. Tropical fruits like bananas and pineapples are available year-round, but they are best in winter since that is when there are no summer fruits available. There are also Southern Hemisphere seasons. There’s a burst of fresh grapes from Chile that arrives in US supermarkets around February. Anyway, if it’s cheap, it’s probably in season. If it’s expensive, then forget it — not only does it cost more, but it won’t taste as good because it is not in season. If you are buying fresh strawberries or peaches in March, where do you think those came from? Instead, you might be better off with frozen strawberries and peaches, in March.

While you can just eat fruit or meat, without much preparation, most vegetables are not very good by themselves. Remember steamed broccoli, or steamed green beans? Not so good just by itself, right? Most Americans are rather retarded about this. Vegetables need combination, and preparation and spices.

Green salads should be part of your diet almost every day. Make your own salad dressings.

I do not recommend any vegetarian “imitation foods” including soy burgers or vegan ice cream made from rice. But, since these are all processed foods, if you are sticking to single-ingredient foods, then you won’t be using this anyway.

If you eat meat, look for better quality meats.

The process of learning how to cook delicious food from single-ingredient sources can be a lot of fun. When you get the hang of it, it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. Just eat organic oatmeal for breakfast, instead of Lucky Charms. What’s so hard about that? If you’re busy, open a jar of homemade soup that you made six months ago. If you are too lazy even for that, then eat some fresh dates and walnuts, washed down with some apple juice.

Along the way, you will be much healthier, and look much better. Also, if you are feeding a family, it can be much cheaper. Even if you pay extra for organic ingredients, it is still pretty cheap if you buy in bulk and cook yourself.

The Height Thing

Guess what girls: Men like women with full and perfectly formed tits.

I guess you knew that already.

But, in practice, they will marry most any sort of woman who is not too chubby, gets a little exercise, and stays in good shape — including flat-chested girls. It then becomes a question of: other virtues.

Personally, I have a thing for bony, flat-chested girls.

Nearly any woman, if she takes good care of herself, is good enough for most any man, in physical terms.

For example:

Here is a homely sort of girl, without makeup, without the aid of clothing, rather flat-chested, and with a hairstyle that hasn’t been popular since the reign of Mao Tse-Tung. She is actually posing in front of her toilet. But, making the best of what she has (on the right), she is definitely Good Enough for most any man — even the tippy-top sort of man, if he didn’t have better options available. She could easily provide her husband decades of Happy Fucking, especially if she embraces her natural potential to be a Sex Goddess.

Apparently, the Height Thing has been around a while, but women seem particularly dizzy about it in recent years. Maybe they get told that “they need to have high standards,” and they don’t really have any idea what this is supposed to mean, so they assume that it means they need to have “height standards.” Finding a decent sort of man, that is single, not too ugly, not too old, not too mean, not too druggy, or drunk-y, not too soy, not too wimpy, or simpy, or faggy, or otherwise Woke, who can support a family, and likes you, that you could possibly marry, is hard enough as it is. Why mess it up with dealbreaking height requirements?

In the 1950s, the pinnacle of American femininity was embodied by Grace Kelly:

Even after hundreds of starlets have come and gone, Grace Kelly, along with Marilyn Monroe or Rita Hayworth, remains in the top class of the most spectacular American women of all time.

She married Prince Ranier III of Monaco, and became Princess Grace.

Grace Kelly was 5’6″. It looks like Prince Ranier was about 5’7″.

Okay, he was not only wealthy, he was actually royalty, even of Monaco, a tiny city-state. They made a nice couple.

But, he was not too short.

Skate to Where the Puck Is Going

Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky said that his secret was to “skate to where the puck is going.” If you want to get married, just plan on being a wife — specifically, a Good Wife and Good Mother. If you do that, getting married should be easy.


“I want to get married.”

“Yeah, you and all the other worn-out whores, who figure out around Age 28 that they don’t want to whore around forever. Not gonna happen, babe.”


“I am going to be a good wife and mother.”

“Well, I am not going to let you do that with some other guy.”


Plus, she looks like this:

Image

Get it?

dunking on Tumblr

27 is not too old to have a child, but it would be nice if a woman already planning on motherhood at 17 should not have to wait a decade to get it going. Probably, she met the man she would eventually marry around Age 20, passed the 58 months it now takes, on average, for a couple to get to the marriage day, and then got to baby-making soon afterwards. In past days, she would have met her man at Age 20 (or earlier), and had a child at Age 21.


“Peachy Keenan” — presumably, not the name her mother gave her — was talking about how to become “marriage material” at americanmind.org.

Mostly, it is good advice.

Why can’t young men find suitable brides?

You know why. Fifty years of feminism has had its way with two generations of American women, with predictable results. Throw in the eager pharmaceutical market, social celebration of “sex work,” the pornification of entertainment, successful destruction of “devoted wife” and “loving mother” as attractive careers for girls, and finally, the dismantling of “human female” as a real and separate gender—and well, here we are.

Fortunately, there are many eligible young men who have ducked and dodged the incoming cultural shrapnel that has stripped so many others of their agency and masculinity and their confidence and even their gonads. These brave souls made it to adulthood with their appendages attached and sanity intact.

Now they are in want of a wife. But that’s the problem: “wife.” What’s that? Most girls are no longer raised to be wives. Not since Target started selling Girls Rule t-shirts for toddlers, at least. “How to be a wife” is now an archaic skill set one must seek out on trad-minded blogs.

“How to be a wife” is not something anyone really ever even thinks about, until it’s too late.

OK, good, but her advice is not quite thinking about “how to be a good wife,” it is more along the lines of, “how to appear marriageable,” which is not quite the same thing.

Still, before a woman can learn, or study, how to be a Good Wife and a Good Mother, she has to begin by thinking that such a thing should be done.

Stop thinking of marriage as an end. It is a beginning. Life is extremely short so it’s best to get the good part started as early as you can. When you find the guy, remember that it’s not about what he owes you, or what he’s “done for you lately.” Forge something new as a team. Don’t waste another second on losers who don’t value you. Life can be difficult. Once in a while it can get so tough that you won’t know how to keep going. You’re going to need a loyal partner in that foxhole with you. Someone pulling for you. Someone ready to jump on the grenade.

There are a lot of ways to learn how to be a Good Wife. My favorite place to start is Fascinating Womanhood, by Helen Andelin. There are many other good resources, but read this first, and then you have something to compare to. An updated, contemporized version is now out, but I like the original, because of all the cultural quirks of that time which now seem antiquarian. It relates a time (the 1960s) when whoredom among women was still unusual; when most women became housewives even though feminism was spreading; and when young people dressed like this:

1960s couple eating outside - Susan Saint-Rossy, LCSW ...

It was a high point of American history.

For a similar reason, you can learn a lot from the books of Jane Austen, precisely because they relate a certain time, place and social circle, with characteristics that seem almost untouchable now but perhaps we could aspire to.

“What Do You Bring To The Table?” Megan Fox Edition

Megan Fox, Hollywood dream babe, former “Sexiest Woman in the World.”

I had to convince him that I was slightly more responsible and well-spoken and had other things to bring to the table besides being 18.

Every other woman:

I Am the Table.

She got married, and had three children.

wallup.net

“Now just sit right there and let me tell you all the things I bring to the table.”

Build It and They Will Come

This is an interesting item by Helen Roy. And since Helen is a TradBabe (that is, she has options), and also a wife and new mother (don’t take advice from single women), and of the BigBrain subcategory, it has something worthwhile in it I think.

This is the basic landscape of dating in Hell World 2021, and most people in their courtship years are lonely, depressed, and frustrated by the whole thing. In seeking their political mirror image in women, conservative men see no one. In calling themselves conservative, no one seeks them. So, what can be done?

An implicit spiritual nationalism would take men much further in life and love without requiring them to explain their positions to women. Men must become the leaders on a personal and cultural level that they wish to see in the world, and should stop talking to women about politics in the way that most people understand politics (look what Nancy Pelosi said, etc). The men I’m talking to and about must turn their focus instead to the concrete aspects of life. Be builders. Build your body, your home, your garden, new networks, and business.

Women will inhabit the spaces that men build. By the same token, they will burn down a dilapidated house with you in it, especially if your only response to the crumbling walls is to whine, “Look at these crumbling walls! Imagine if our termites infested the neighbor’s house. Their walls would crumble harder.” Conservatives are the guys screaming at the crumbling walls. Parasites are more appealing by comparison.

If you actually start building a local world with high standards and natural hierarchies that you don’t have to languish at the bottom of, you will strengthen yourself spiritually, socially, and physically. This is what women want. …

So, again, we must transcend the superficial political order. The woman you’re looking for probably isn’t a tattoo-free, debt-free virgin, and she probably isn’t a policy wonk, either. That is to say, she may not be precisely like-minded. She may have some baggage. She may accept politically what her friends and employers compel her to. That’s actually probably okay for now, so long as the following is true. The real signal of a woman with the capacity to submit to a mission against the modern world is not political—it’s a vibe. Cultivate the eye for the Eternal Feminine (sweetness, softness, warmth, playfulness) above all. The true enemy of modernity is this essential, transcendent kindness, loveliness, and grace—not necessarily a shrewd financial sense. Of course, be prudent. Sexual and financial history matters. But do not be so prudent that you disqualify everyone with a past. Never forget that redemption and reconciliation is available to us all. Practically speaking, if you are building something good, she will follow, and eventually be convinced of the rest.

The only hope for women, socially submissive creatures, to recover en masse from the quiet tragedy of the modern world, is for men to seriously strike out on their own from the system that rewards women for dominating them. By freeing themselves from the oppressive bourgeois expectations of normie political life, men free women in turn to become who they are. This will be a self-evident reward in itself. In other words, it will become an attractive choice to the right women.

In practical terms, I see something like this:

Men, in dealing with the flaming rubble of today, have had two basic approaches:

  1. Adapt to the flaming rubble. Become King of Bartertown. Basically, this means: have six girlfriends in rotation, each of which you can dispose of quickly, if necessary.
  2. Check out of the flaming rubble. Go your own way. It’s the best way not to get burned. No “relationships” and no marriage. Don’t waste enormous amounts of time, energy and resources on women who will never amount to more than yesterday’s pussy and today’s STDs. The only thing that lasts is the problems they create. Enjoy your time with your guy friends. It’s the only pleasure you will find in this hellscape. Bros over Hoes. Put your head down and work, and you can probably retire by 45.

Those trying to “conserve” marriage and family have tended to default to: “Wife up those worn-out whores and single moms with a passel of thugspawn.” This was tried for about 20 years, and didn’t work. There is going to have to be a period of triage, where those women who are not capable of serving in the role of a Good Wife and a Good Mother, who are Unfit for Marriage, do not get married.

There has been a lot of interesting analysis over the past ten years, which is ongoing. TikTok has become a grand new source of raw insight into the female mind, and it has been making people queasy anew, even those who thought they had some understanding of today’s depravity.

What I think Helen is getting at is:

  1. Get up off your knees.
  2. Get your Patriarchy on. Anthropologists say that they have never found any conclusive evidence of a matriarchal society in all of human history, at any time or any place. There are only strong patriarchies (male leadership), weak patriarchies, or ashes.
  3. Tell the Bitches What To Do.

Women, as Helen Roy relates, are conformists. They take the shape of their “container.” You have to give them something to conform to. You have to give them something to participate in. They can decide if they want to be part of your deal. Many won’t, but some will.

If you give them the Player/MGTOW spectrum, which is a lot of the Manosphere these days, and look at it as something to participate in or conform to — rather than a masculine strategy for dealing with a world of dysfunction — a woman would conclude:

1: I should be part of a harem, and conform myself to those expectations. I will have to support myself (this is not Polygamy), and then maybe get as much time with a Top Guy as I can manage.

2: These guys are telling me to leave them alone, so I will leave them alone. I will have to support myself. Maybe we will get together from time to time to relieve sexual tension, but don’t expect anything more.

This will conflict with their natural baby/nurturing instincts, eventually driving them crazy, soon followed by wine and prescription meds.

So, if anything is to be done, some men (not all) will have to provide a concrete, specific plan that a woman can participate in and conform to.

But, these women, not yet conforming to anything, are not naturally in the shape of Your Deal. There are a few TradBabes of the highest caliber, who do understand these things, and are not Fugly. But, not enough to go around. And, you will have to look hard for them. They are not on Tinder, or Instagram, or at the bar, club, or supermarket. They seem to be on Twitter. Among the rest of them, there are a few that might have a tattoo, and some debt, and been poked a few times, but are still capable of being a part of Your Deal, in a productive fashion, without strewing chaos and destruction everywhere.

But, those men who will take up the challenge, will have to “build.” What does this mean? Build a building? Mostly, it means The Word and The Law. It means making structures in your mind — or, Frame.

What To Teach Your Children

This is “The Children’s Song,” from Puck of Pook’s Hill (1906), by Rudyard Kipling. In 1906, Britain was still Champion of the World. This is what people teach their children, when a nation is at its best.

Land of our Birth, we pledge to thee
Our love and toil in the years to be;
When we are grown and take our place
As men and women with our race.

Father in Heaven who lovest all,
Oh, help Thy children when they call;
That they may build from age to age
An undefiled heritage.

Teach us to bear the yoke in youth,
With steadfastness and careful truth;
That, in our time, Thy Grace may give
The Truth whereby the Nations live.

Teach us to rule ourselves alway,
Controlled and cleanly night and day;
That we may bring, if need arise,
No maimed or worthless sacrifice.

Teach us to look in all our ends
On Thee for judge, and not our friends;
That we, with Thee, may walk uncowed
By fear or favour of the crowd.

Teach us the Strength that cannot seek,
By deed or thought, to hurt the weak;
That, under Thee, we may possess
Man’s strength to comfort man’s distress.

Teach us Delight in simple things,
And Mirth that has no bitter springs;
Forgiveness free of evil done,
And Love to all men ’neath the sun!

Land of our Birth, our faith, our pride,
For whose dear sake our fathers died;
Oh, Motherland, we pledge to thee
Head, heart and hand through the years to be!

But I Could Have Been a Ballerina

When I want some inspiration for something to write about, I often turn to Lori Alexander at the Transformed Wife. Recently, she talked about women’s unrealistic expectations.

Too many women these days carry a burden they were never meant to carry. All of their lives, they are told they can be and do whatever they want to do. They can be an astronaut, be a CEO, or even become President. “Yes, young women, go get your college degrees and maybe a master’s or doctorate, then pursue a career. Work five days a week away from home. Forget about having a family or if you have one, forget being with them often. Your worth is far more important than being a wife and mother!”

This is why women view being a wife and mother as drudgery. They’ve been programmed their entire lives to not be a wife and mother. If they are wives and mothers, they feel like they’re missing out on something grand.

First, practical advice:

A lot of a mother’s duties are something like drudgery — to which I say: cut back on the drudgery. Today, things like laundry and cleaning don’t take much time, unless you insist on stretching it out by 4x-5x, as many women seem to do. The big drudgery today is: Chauffeuring. If it is too much, try to find a way to reduce it. Leave time unscheduled, and just kick the kids out of the house until the street lights come on.

But, then there is this idea that a woman should be doing something else instead of, or in addition to, being a wife and mother. Today, they are supposed to start their own companies, or something like that. In the past, in the 1950s, a common fantasy for housewives was: to become a professional ballet dancer.

No, seriously.

Marie Robinson was a professional therapist for women, who heard this stuff a lot in the 1950s. In The Power of Sexual Surrender (1959), she wrote:

Women who suffer from frigidity often have, in addition to negative feelings toward the male sex, another very marked characteristic. They are subject to powerful fantasies which militate against the recovery of their lost sexuality and their psychological maturation. It is extremely important that these fantasies be ruthlessly explored and exploded. If they are not, they serve the unhappy function of preserving the unhealthy conviction that one deserves a far better fate than that of being a beloved wife and mother.

Such fantasies are often half hidden from view, just as are one’s negative feelings about men. They are daydreams left over from adolescence or earlier. Their destructive power derives from the fact that the daydreamer either still believes that the dreams are realizable or that she could have achieved them if her husband and family had not prevented her from doing so.

It is amazing how powerful and persistent these fantasies can be. They generally spring from an early desire to become an actress, a dancer, or a concert artist However, they may also express wishes to become a doctor, lawyer, athlete, diplomat, or whatever. Their impossible, Walter-Mittyish character is blithely ignored by the daydreamer. I have had frigid women of forty and even fifty, who, just beneath the logical, sound surface of their minds, still believed that someday (tomorrow perhaps, next year certainly) they would go to acting school and soon obtain leading roles in a Broadway drama, or resume their piano lessons and become famous concert artists.

Such fantasies derive their power from the fact that the daydreamer feels unable to deal with reality. Since a woman who is frigid is dealing with her real-life situation in an inadequate manner, it is not strange that she should hold onto such fantasies with passion. They protect her from her feelings of inferiority. What matter, says her unconscious mind, if you are unable to love; what matter if your husband exploits you, attempts to enslave you. Tomorrow—someday, at any rate—you will show them all that you are beautiful, glamorous, a great performer, or doctor, or lawyer, or Indian chief.

Most people, realizing that such daydreams, formed in the heat of youth, have no function in reality, have long ago given them up in favor of living as passionately as possible in the present.

The frigid woman, however, having a reason for keeping them alive, has never scrutinized them in the cold light of rationality. I know of one woman who, at the age of thirty-eight, with three children under fifteen years of age, still felt she could become a dancer. As she looked more closely at this conviction she became increasingly surprised at how seriously she really took this fantasy. At length, when she felt really ready to face sacrificing her lifelong fantasy, she wrote a list of facts and questions. I present them here.

1. To become a dancer I would have to study the dance for a minimum of five years; during that time I would have to practice dancing for about eight hours a day. Could I take this discipline?

2. If my mind were able to take such discipline would my body be able to stand up under such arduous work?

3. If I were able to arrange it would I be willing to give up my daily contact and relationship with my three children?

4. If I overcame every obstacle and became a well-known dancer, achieving my wildest dream of success, I would have to go on tour for at least eight months of the year; this would mean separation from my husband and children during that time. Do I want this? Even if I do, could I take it emotionally?

Where did this come from? Probably, a lot of women were trained in ballet and piano as girls. They may have gone to college, but in those days, it was expected that a woman going to college was going to find a husband there, or soon afterwards, so they didn’t have so many CEO fantasies. Today, a young woman is given all kinds of male-life-track advice, which conflicts with motherhood and family. College today is a step toward a career for women, not a place to find a husband on track to a career.

Then as now, women seem to have had little ability to make any rational sense of these things they were told. They were just told what to do, and they did it.