This is your civilization, if you choose to accept it.

Karolina Zebrowska gets ready for a ball in 1808. This was the “Regency” period in England, which referred to the later period of the reign of King George III (who fought with George Washington in the Revolutionary War), when his mental health had deteriorated badly, and he handed over rule to a Regent, in this case his son, who in 1820 became King George IV. The Regency Act was actually in 1811, so the Regency period was 1811-1820. This was also the period of Jane Austen’s novels, especially Pride and Prejudice (1813), which is referred to many times in this video.

This woman used to wear skinny black jeans and t-shirts every day, but now she makes her own corsets.

Believe it or not, many young men, if they want to marry (and many do, eventually), want to marry virgins — preferably, young ones, age 18-20.

Very often, these young men are not particularly churchy. But, they are beginning to realize that, if you are going to have any chance of success at all in marriage, you have to get the odds in your favor. Plus, a 20-year-old wife is still going to be young ten and even twenty years later.

This guy used to have ten simultaneous girlfriends. His conclusion?

Unfortunately, women who are virgins are very bad for “dating.” They are for marrying, not “dating.” For “dating,” one common rule is: If she isn’t putting out by Date #3, dump her.

If a man wanted to find a virgin wife, age 18-20, where would he go? You can’t exactly hang around the high school playground, and they can’t even go into a bar until Age 21. Colleges have been considered “off limits” for men over 21, but this may change.

Recently, SigmaFrame and NovaSeeker have been complaining that there seems little alternative to “dating,” and even there — as SigmaFrame relates from his own experience — it can take a hookup to get things going. Even today, fully 60% of young women are virgins when they enter college, but only about 3% are virgins when they are married. Obviously, most men who say they would like to marry virgins are not successful.

I think young women who want to “save themselves for their husband” can find Suitors, but only if she advertises herself as such. In the old days, this was what Debutante Balls were for.

If she is advertising (presenting) herself as similar to all the other girls who are Dating, then she will get no interest. Sexless “dating” was fun when you were 13, but not so much for adults. Courtship is a very different stance. It is not just “no sex before marriage,” but rather, a rejection of the whole Feminist Life Script. A woman who is “saving herself for marriage” must also be seeking marriage, right here and now and not in some distant future, after age 28. She can’t be willing to marry, today, but only some imaginary Prince Charming who will never actually appear, and will never be actually interested in her if they somehow crossed paths. (She can, however, make an active search for men of high social standing, intentionally forcing herself into the attention of wealthy men who would also like a slim virgin bride of 18 without tattoos — very much unlike the dozens of other women vying for his attention.) Otherwise, there is no reason to interact with her at all — she is no good for “dating,” and no good for marrying. Basically, she is a Career Nun. She should be seeking marriage right away, at Age 18 or even forming ties at Age 16, perhaps to be married later. (Courtship, or the process of getting married, may involve going on “dates.”)

I have heard some anecdotes that young women who actively seek marriage at Age 18 have had no problem actually getting married. This is no surprise, since 92% of White women have actually managed to get married, once they finally decide that they want to get married. This even includes those 25% of White women who have children out of wedlock! It includes those 25% of women in their twenties who are not just overweight, but actually obese! It is not that hard, if you try. If you also have the advantages of being 18 years old, with a slim and healthy body, and you pay a little attention to beautification (but not so much makeup), and no tattoos or debt, it should be a slam dunk.

I do not think it is so important that a man be a virgin at marriage. For one thing, a man is expected to be able to support a family, which means that he is probably at least 25. Second, most men do not have that much prior history. Third, the family is not as threatened by a man’s past as by a woman’s. Even men who have a history of cavorting with multiple women — John F. Kennedy or Donald Trump, perhaps — normally do not threaten their marriages and families. This requires a wife of considerable tolerance, but Jackie Kennedy did it, and didn’t get divorced. Among marriages between two people with a four-year college degree, the divorce rate is about 35%, and divorce is initiated by the woman 90% of the time. Probably, divorce is really initiated by the woman about 95% of the time, with the woman making herself so intolerable that the man feels that he must flee for is own survival, or at least, formalize what has already happened de facto, such as for a woman who has left the house. 35%*5%=1.75%. So, if a woman behaves herself, and is married to a better sort of man (comparable to the average man with a four-year degree), then there is not much risk to the family. Compare this to the risk of failed marriage for a woman with more than 20 sex partners (about 80%), or even more than 5 (60%).

Courting can be fun, but it is not for fun. It is like looking for a job. It is a transition stage, not something you stay with indefinitely. Fortunately, you only have to do it once, and God has given women many advantages (youth and beauty) so that they can do it without necessarily being so skillful.

I actually like these two women. They seem cheerful and fun — unlike many single women, who need antidepressants to give them a respite from their own bitterness — and they are looking good for their age. After Age 40, you get the face and the body you deserve; and they have apparently done something to deserve good results. After thirty years of Dating, they are really good at it. But, I hope that at least some women will chose Home and Family instead. So, just do that and forget about Dating.

In the pre-1913 era, young women often had fantastic fashions and hairstyles, but makeup was rare. Here, at the dawn of color photography, we see the no-makeup looks of girls and young women of that time.

Women under 25 don’t need makeup. God made them beautiful already. Just don’t mess up His Work with bad diet and flab. Isn’t it a little weird? Painting your face? Really?

In the past, makeup was considered a means of faking/lying/manipulating. Once you start misrepresenting your face — your face! — pretty soon the principle spreads to all actions. Mothers and Fathers told their daughters not to wear makeup, at least when younger. And, by the time they were older (over 25), they were supposed to be married already, with a couple of children, and not trying to attract the attention of other men. Today, Mothers are eager for their daughters to be better fakers/liars/manipulators than the other girls. Hey, it worked for Mom!

Obviously, if makeup didn’t work, then women wouldn’t use it. But, the best girl is the girl who doesn’t need it.

During the Victorian Era (nineteenth century), women often had spectacular clothing and hairstyles, but little or no makeup. Even Queen Victoria herself did not wear makeup.

Going no-makeup doesn’t mean that you dress like you are going to clean out the basement, or that you look like you just woke up with a hangover. You can do all the other stuff. Just, no makeup.

No-makeup looks from the Nineteenth Century:

These Hollywood actresses are definitely wearing makeup, but it is supposed to represent a time when that was rare, so it should at least give a hint of what I mean by extravagant attire without makeup. (Women under 25 with a good diet really do have flawless skin, BTW.)

Things are soooo much less competitive these days. All you have to do is: 1) Have a slim natural body, the result of healthy diet and regular exercise; 2) Wear something nice. Even a $29.99 dress from Amazon would be better than what 95% of women wear these days.

Today, we will celebrate what women actually look like.

Alicia Keyes (age 40) went to the Grammys without makeup.

Looking good in a bikini, with no makeup, over age 50 is not at all easy. But, for those women who want to challenge themselves, here’s Cindy Crawford.

Nice job, Cindy!

This is for: girls and young women.

Girls: look at the loser guys around you. The ones that play video games all day, every day, day in and day out, week after week, month after month, year after year.

They could get a real girlfriend. They could play sports. They could work out in the gym and look good. They could study, or start a business, or learn something, or build something. But, instead of all this, they just play video games.

These video games mostly consists of killing zombies, or space aliens, or something like that. For hour after hour after hour, year after year, they kill hundreds and thousands of zombies and space aliens.

This probably seems pretty stupid, to a girl.

Social media apps are video games for girls. This includes Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and also dating apps like Tinder or Bumble.

While young men mostly like to kill endless thousands of video space aliens, young women mostly like the attention of other people, both men and other young women. Young men stack up kills, and young women stack up likes and views. They bask in the glow of the endless attention paid to them by thousands and thousands of people that they will never meet in person.

Many women just play dating apps like a video game. They never actually meet a real person in real life. They just spend hours each day swiping, and text messaging. Day after day, month after month.

They could find a real boyfriend. They could study, or make real friends with other real girls, or go to a real party, or join a real club. They could develop real social skills. They could marry, have children, and create a family and household. But, they never do this. Instead of all this, they just play video games for girls.

Unfortunately, a lot of women these days are addicted to relationship drama. Some women are so addicted that they actually make a career of other women’s relationship drama. They end up as Dating Coaches. I think they are probably pretty good at Dating, but not so good at Getting Married. If you want to Get Married, take advice from a married woman.

The kind of woman who tends to get married easily, and stay married, are those that actively seek to minimize relationship drama. They just want to have a placid, productive and fun time with their man; and they look for a man that wants the same thing. Women who maximize relationship drama, who deliberately create problems where no problems need exist, or stay in and pursue situations that can’t possibly work out, don’t stay in relationships long. Even if they get married, it doesn’t last.

The difference between the two types was well illustrated in this video, from Julie Nolke.

Another video. “Because Coaches don’t play!” 3:53.

I’ve been saying that young women should skip the Feminist Life Track, of college and career, and go directly to Family and Children. In the end, even if you do all the Feminist Life Track stuff, and you marry at age 32 (getting rarer every day), then you will still have to choose between being a Working Mom or a Stay at Home Mom. If you really want to be a Working Mom, go right ahead, but if you want to be a Stay at Home Mom, then just decide today. Just be a Stay at Home Mom, and then you can have a career later, after Age 45, when all the children are out of the house.

Nevertheless, a young woman can still educate herself, and actually get a much better education than any college today offers. This takes effort, but it is nearly free. It would a nice thing to do while you are living at your Father’s house and looking for a husband.

Dating apps are rather toxic these days, but they can still be a means to find a Husband. Here is a dating profile I would like to see:

Get some professional photos. They should express a) beauty; b) a slim, healthy body; c) cheery manner; d) classy; e) you dress well but not too slutty. No “boozing with friends in Tijuana” pics. Today, a lot of girls get professional Senior Portraits, at roughly age 18. Look below.

Hi guys! I am looking for a man to share a family and lifetime of marital bliss. So, don’t even bother unless you are ready to marry. This is why you should marry me, instead of one of those other girls:

1. I’m 19. I will look almost the same in ten years, and I will still be young twenty years from now.
2. I am a virgin. I am saving myself for my future husband. Please don’t make me wait too long.
3. I want children, and I have enough time to have a big family.
4. I want to be a Stay at Home Mom.
5. I plan to homeschool our children and raise them well.
6. Education is very important to me.
7. I know how to cook, and will be a great cook for our family.
8. I will not divorce you. That is a disaster for everyone involved.
9. I will be your biggest supporter.
10. I will maintain our household to a high standard, and you don’t have to do any housework (besides the usual guy stuff).
11. I think today’s divorce laws are a disaster for the institution of marriage. I insist on a prenuptial agreement.
12. I come from a good family.
13. My parents are not divorced.
14. I have a father.
15. I dress well.
16. I haven’t had the feminist brainwashing that other girls get in college.
17. I insist that you take your proper role as Leader of the Family.
18. I will take very good care of you.
19. I exercise regularly, and plan to maintain a healthy and trim figure, even into my fifties and beyond.
20. I like nice things, but I am frugal and ready to live within our financial means.
21. I like to keep a clean and beautiful house, and am ready to work to get that.
22. No debt.
23. No tattoos.
24. No drug or alcohol dependencies.
25. No prescription drugs, including antidepressants.
26. No goofed-up hormones from hormonal contraceptives.
27. I’m smarter than the average bear.
28. My Mom looks great, for her age.
29. I’ve been practicing ballet for the past five years.
30. Many, many other good things!

Rules:

1. You have to take me on a nice date.
2. You have to pay.
3. No kissing.
4. You have to make a decision to marry or not within a reasonable amount of time (probably less than six months). Seriously, how long do you want to postpone our honeymoon?
5. No exclusive relationships. If you want me all to yourself, you know what to do. Otherwise, I have to entertain other prospects.

You are:

1. Not too ugly.
2. Not too fat.
3. Have good career prospects.
4. Under 35.
5. It would be nice if you are wealthy.
6. Be ready to be a good husband. Be nice to me!
7. Be ready to support a family.
8. Manly. No male feminists or soyboys. Ugh.
9. Probably, a political conservative.

As I have been explaining, marriage is a terrible deal for men these days. It does not work out well about 80% of the time, and the consequences can be horrific. This will have to be fixed. The two basic elements of this are:

1. The legal standing of men, particularly regarding divorce, false rape or domestic violence claims, spurious “sexual harrassment” claims at work or school, etc.
2. Women’s behavior.

Men’s natural response to this is to avoid marriage. Many men today support marriage in principle, but not in practice: under today’s conditions, it is far too risky and far too unrewarding.

I do not think women realize how much danger they are in. So far, about 92% of all White women have been able to marry. But, this might fall to 70% and even 50% over the next decade or so, if things keep going as they are.

Thus, women’s interests and men’s are aligned. There needs to be a tolerable legal standing for both men and women, that makes marriage an attractive proposition. Women’s behavior needs to be good enough that a man can consider himself fortunate to be married, instead of single. She has to be a Good Wife, because nobody wants to be married to a Bad Wife. (I estimate that only about 20% of women today are Good Wives, according to the judgement of the men they are married to.) As women’s behavior gets worse and worse, men react by making relationships more and more transient. Men need to be able to discard a woman when she goes rotten. Men can’t invest very much time, attention or emotional attachment to a woman, because she can go rotten at any moment. You can’t have children involved. Marriage is increasingly off the table; but also, cohabitation, and even a monogamous LTR “boyfriend” arrangement with some emotional investment. If men don’t trust you, you aren’t going to get past the FWB stage.

If a woman does not do this, and instead supports the continuation and worsening of the problems that already exist, she becomes an enemy of marriage and family, even if she herself thinks that she wants marriage and family. No man should marry such a woman, or let her live in his house.

In other words, a man in favor of marriage, and a woman, should sound about the same. Also, being in favor of marriage and family, as an institution, not just as a handy means to extort cash and prizes from a man through the divorce process, should be a requirement for any man to marry a woman.

Since theory and reasoning don’t work well with women, it is better to have an example. If you support the institution of marriage and family, then you have to also be in support of changes that strengthen marriage and family. It looks like this:

And this:

Let’s continue with “Laine’s Letters,” which are not only some good ideas to get by on a less-than-average income, but also an example of the very best of wives. After all this scrimping and saving, she concludes: “I am so thankful!”

17 ~ I’ve learned to be very thankful and content. They’re both infectious, you know. “Be content with such things as you have” (Hebrews 13:5). I lived for three months when I was seventeen in a Muslim household in Tunisia, North Africa without a place to bathe in the house, without a washer and dryer, without a car, without a refrigerator, without a phone, without screens on the windows {flies everywhere}, without a flushing toilet or toilet paper, without a dishwasher or even a nice sink. The cooking was done on a little hot plate. The weather was hot, hot, hot. The milk came in a horse drawn cart with flies all around it. If we needed some tomato paste, we bought it in tablespoon increments. Nothing was wasted, because money was scarce.

In America, we would considered this family so very poor. But in their country they were middle class. I think about my living conditions there a lot. Especially when I am taking a nice, hot bath. I have so much to be thankful for. So much to be content about. It was the hardest summer of my life. But it was one summer that I learned the most, which has served me well in marriage. My husband says I’m one of the most contented women he knows. I only have to think of my stay in Tunisia, and I am totally content. “Let your manner of life be without covetousness, and be content with such things as you have, for He has said, ‘I will never leave you, nor forsake you.’ So that we may boldly say, ‘The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me.”

18 ~ I often tell my kids, “it’s not the amount of money that comes in, rather how it goes out that counts.” So many people think that if they have more money, they would be better off. When good things increase, those who consume them increase. So what is the advantage to their owners except to look on? (Ecclesiastes 5:11) Rather: “Godliness with contentment is great gain” (I Timothy 6:6).

I have lived in this house with holes in my flooring, carpeting that’s ripping up or has holes in it, sinks that are in rough shape, a tub with slight cracks in it, windows that are foggy because the panes are permanently damaged, the same couches for 16 years {and they were used when we bought them}, and numerous other things. Our house is hot, hot in the summer and cold, cold in the winter due to poor insulation. But I’ve learned to live with all of it, and to be so thankful. I keep two rooms warm in the winter with a kerosene heater and a fireplace. A curtain keeps the heat in our kitchen in the winter. It’s my “winter look.” The fireplace keeps the living room warm. It’s so cozy in there. I can keep the house cool in the summer by running our whole house fan early in the morning with all the windows open, then shutting everything up and draping cooling shades over the main windows. The fans do the rest. It’s amazing how you learn to work with an old house over the years

I really enjoy fixing this home up. I love my flooring, holes and all. I have throw rugs all over my ripped up carpet. And I paint, patch, and design the rest with quilts, tea cups and tea pots, family photos that I took antiques bought at the thrift shop, doilies, lots of lace, beautiful smelling candles, a fire going in the fireplace, and keeping my home clean and fresh smelling. It doesn’t cost a lot to do that. I try to take the load off my husband by making his home as welcoming and comforting as I can on a dime. We sleep 7 1/2 to 8 hours a night so I try to have all our beds nice and cozy. Likewise, we eat three times a day. So this is another area that I try to spend our money wisely. It is for health, comfort, and economy. Not easy, but the Lord shows me the way. I love learning from Him! It’s really the simple things that bring so much pleasure.

(Commentary from Lori Alexander)

Many years ago, when I first began reading Laine’s Letters, I remember her testimony. In her early years of marriage, she was not a good homemaker. She watched a lot of Soap Operas and was not submissive to her husband. After the birth of one of her children who was gravely ill, she made a promise to God that she would get up early every morning and spend time with Him, if He would heal her child.

The child lived, so she kept her promise and woke up every morning at 4:00 a.m. and spent time knowing Jesus. It completely changed her life, marriage, and family. She learned about submission, being a keeper at home, loving her husband and children, etc. She stopped watching Soap Operas and spent her time caring for her family, home, and others.

19 ~ My husband and I have an allowance each week. Whenever I work on some one’s budget, I always give the husband and wife a personal weekly allowance. I think it is the oil that keeps the marriage wheels running smoothly. ~Smile~

20 ~ We saved a lot of money and time by allowing our kids to be involved in mostly music and church. My older son teaches piano, so this has paid many of his bills. His piano lessons were a wonderful investment. We were careful about letting them get too over involved in anything. It saved our family life and our finances. We still eat together most evenings! Since our income is so tight, we have to pray and carefully consider what we can allow them to do. We don’t pay them allowances, rather they work for their money.

21 ~ One of my best saving money secrets is to just stay home. The more you are in the stores, the more tempted you are to spend. So you save on gas, time, and money when you just stay home. I try to shop with a list in hand. That way I stick to the list and buy what I really need. But I sure save a lot when i just stay home more than when I go into the stores.

22 ~ As I mentioned before, I use my allowance for gift buying. I keep a gift box. It is really a small cupboard under my bookcase filled with all kinds of gifts that I find at great prices. Then when I need a gift, I go shopping there first. I try to keep a $3 and under gift allowance on each gift.

23 ~ My husband and I have never been able to afford going out on dates, or going away alone for the weekend. Our time together has always been our morning coffee chat every day. And since we could not afford going away for the weekend, I made our bedroom as romantic as possible. My husband never had his own room growing up. He slept in the living room on two cushions pulled out from the couch. So it has been my pleasure to make this room a mini-retreat for him each day.

24 ~ I nursed all of our children for a year each. This was a big savings since we have four children, yet it was not easy for me. But I had to do it, for we simply could not afford formula. I only had one side that worked, so the doctor told me to nurse on that one side. I was up every two to three hours with all of my children, because I only had one side to give them. I prayed, I cracked, I prayed, I cried, I prayed, I was exhausted, I prayed, and I had numerous breast infections with each one of them. I prayed and prayed for God’s help and strength. He did indeed help me, because I wanted to give up over and over again. I look back now and see His incredible Hand in every situation and know His strength got me through. Nursing was never easy for me, yet I would do it all over again. Back then, I didn’t even know how good it was for the baby and for me. So God used tight finances to teach me so much. That is why I can look on illness and health problems differently…He is teaching me so much during this time about herbs, nutrition, exercise, etc. “Discipline is never pleasant at the time, but so profitable to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11).

(Commentary from Lori Alexander)

Since typing all of these posts out that Laine wrote, I truly see what an amazing woman of God she was and how much she depended upon His strength for wisdom and joy. I love learning from wise woman and she certainly qualifies.

As I recall, the last letter I got from her, both of her sons were married and both of their wives were pregnant. Her sons were away in the military so they both lived in trailers on her property. (I may have some of the details wrong but this is what I recall.) One daughter-in-law was so sick that she had to go back home with her family. Laine and her husband did adopt a baby girl from China.

25 ~ We try to keep things running with good maintenance. My husband changes the oil in the cars regularly. I keep the vacuum filters clean with regular maintenance. Likewise, the dryer lint vent, and other machines we use. It pays to keep them up, so that you won’t have to buy another one due to poor maintenance. My husband always tries to fix things himself, especially our cars. He’ll get a book and figure it out, get on the phone and talk to other men, then tackle the task himself. I am usually in the house praying for him.

26 ~ Many times we must wait on the Lord for something and pray. We have waited on the Lord many times during a crisis. He is always faithful. He always shows us the way. “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusts in Thee” (Isaiah 26:3).

27 ~ I am learning that organization saves time and money. Which is why I am organizing this house and have been for many years. I didn’t get into this unorganized problem overnight, so it’s taking me awhile to get things in order. The better the kitchen runs, the more time and money I can save.

28 ~ “Use it up” or “wear it out” or “make do.” This is definitely how we live which is how we save. And if you keep it clean, it’s really not that expensive, because you don’t have to buy another. My grandmother used to say it doesn’t cost much to keep things clean. She was right.

29 ~ I’ve cut our hair for twenty years. Incredible savings here. I would estimate about a $2400 savings or more here, so that really helped us pay off our house. Plus I saved on gas getting to the hairdressers and time spent there. I learned from a book from the library and from asking hairdressers questions.

30 ~ We’ve never paid for a babysitter. I know that’s hard to believe, but we never have. We’ve either swapped babysitting, had my folks babysit for special occasions, or we didn’t go. We just couldn’t afford babysitters and a night out on our tight budget. Our nights out were very modestly priced when we did go, which was rare, as I’ve mentioned before.

31 ~ We buy our clothes at thrift shops or garage sales or on sale at the stores. We’ve never spent a lot on clothes.

32 ~ I’ve been the family photographer for years. I took photography in college so our living room is adorned with shots of our kids as they grew up. In 24 years of marriage, we’ve only had our family picture taken professionally three times.

33~ We have used a credit card most of our married life, but we have never paid an interest charge on anything we’ve charged. We pay it off as soon as it comes in. So we charge only what we can afford. Then a sale is really a sale, no interest charges. We’ve never charged furniture. Rather we buy it used or use items given to us.

34~ My wedding ring has been broken for three years now (diamond fell out). But I’d rather see the house paid off, so I’ve been waiting patiently. On Valentine’s Day, Art bought me an old fashioned silver ring to put in place of my wedding ring until we can afford to fix it. There have been so many things like that. Our CD player has been broken for over a year. Our television was broken, so we used this little one in its place. The kids’ friends used to laugh when they saw it. But we had a goal to pay off our house, so we kept working with what we had.

35~ Last year the dentist told me that Abbie had a problematic tooth which wouldn’t come out without going to an oral surgeon. As I mentioned before, we don’t have dental insurance. So Art told Abbie he would give her $10 if she got that tooth out. I prayed and prayed, while she pried and poked at that tooth all summer. Finally, at the end of the summer, she got the tooth out! I’ll never forget how excited we were. Now she has to have orthodontist work, but we have been praying and saving.

36~ We wash our own cars. Or we hire our kids to wash our cars giving them some spending money for a good job done.

37~ I love to learn, so I am always learning whenever the opportunity. I have attended many classes on different subjects over the years to help me be better at my job. Some were free or near free, but so helpful. Like my photography class. I took it at night when I had two children and was pregnant with my third.

The Food Network shows that my uncle tapes for me are like mini cooking classes. I just feel so blessed to learn from these incredible chefs and cooking teachers. After we get done watching a program, we all head out to the kitchen to whip something up! It just puts you in the mood. ~Smile~

38~ I learned to plant or transplant flowers or plants. This helps in saving money in the garden. I love ivy, geranium, lavender, and rosemary for my area. They are great growers without a lot of water. I am constantly reading up on gardening, for it’s an area I would like to improve on.

39~ We have built up a family library. I love good books. I have so many wonderful books. Many of them I bought at the thrift shop. I’ve always got my nose in a good book. So do my children. I’ve taught them for years that they can learn anything if they’ve got a good book to learn from. And that you’re never too old to learn, rather you’ll be learning all your life. I never think I’ve got something down, rather I keep trying to learn and improve on what I do already know.

40~ I’ve learned to spend according to what comes in, not what is projected. That would be like counting your chickens before they were hatched. Not good financing.

Wealth gained hastily will dwindle,
but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.
Proverbs 13:11

41 ~ Don’t compare yourself. I’ve found this can be costly. So I just stay in my budget with my man. It’s cheaper and so much more peaceful.

42~ Find one used if possible. I remember when we needed a washer, for ours had finally bit the dust. I asked the LORD if anyone had a washer they didn’t need just hanging around. One of my friends called that evening and told me about this washer she had on her porch that she was getting rid of. I’m still using that washer. ~Smile~ (In the picture are our used washer and dryer with my homemade laundry powder!)

43~ Wait patiently when there is a need to see how God will provide. We needed firewood for the winter. I pray about it in the summer. I asked the LORD to bring it in. He did! Art picked some of it up, and some of it was delivered right to our home, totally free of charge. We used that wood all this past winter. When I would use it, I’d think of the faithfulness of God.

44~ We couldn’t afford private, Christian school for our kids, so I homeschooled all of them. I’ve been doing it for the past 14 years, having graduated two of our children. This was a big savings here, and I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. No, not for the savings either. But it sure did help us to pay off our house. I always had the kids helping us pay off the house. Quincy kept bees and a big garden. Brady kept the chickens and goats. Now the roles are switched, and Abbie keeps the goats, while Gabe takes care of the chickens and fruit trees. Gabe wants to make a garden with his dad this summer. I love to keep my kids motivated in helping their dad financially by all their work around here. It makes us such a good team.

45~ Every little bit does count. Say for example, you learn as I did that you can use half as much clothing detergent and just set your washer cycle to agitate a little longer. Not more water, just more agitation to get the clothes cleaner. Or you can soak your clothes overnight in the washer, then start the load the next morning with half as much detergent than you usually use. Now say you usually spend $12 a month on clothing detergent. This is about $144 a year, or $2448 for 17 years. So, if you save half of that by cutting down your detergent to half your normal use, while still getting your clothes clean, you’ve saved $72 a year or $1224 in 17 years. These are the kinds of savings I would practice to pay off our home in 17 years. I was always multiplying things by 12 for the entire year’s use. All those little savings do add up.

46~ Pray, pray, pray. I pray beforehand, during, and after. I pray before I go shopping, while I’m in the store, at the cash register, and on my way home. I pray when every check comes in that the LORD will give me wisdom to use it for His will. I just need the LORD’s help so much in giving, saving, and spending. It’s a training going on in my home that affects us, my children, and grandchildren. The LORD is able to do above all that we ask or think. Paying off our last debt, our home, in our 40’s is one of those incredible answers to prayer.

47~ We don’t change cars very often. We keep our cars for a long time. We just keep up the maintenance on them. Presently I drive a 1986 Honda. I just love it.

48~ We do not withdraw money without the other’s knowledge. So I don’t have to worry about an ATM withdrawal that my husband made without my knowing, thereby putting our account into jeopardy if I was to write a check thinking that money was in there. We work together as a team. We also do not make any singular purchases over $50 without the other’s prior knowledge and consent. This has served us well. So I’ve never had a check bounce.

49~ Our children get one big birthday party during their growing up. Otherwise, it is a family birthday party. This saves so much money and stress. Plus that one party is a lot of fun, since we only do it once in their childhood. Quincy had his at 18, Brady had his at 16, and I think Abbie is shooting for hers at 16 as well. Gabe is still up in the air about his. We really enjoy our family parties and make a big deal about the cake. They will spend days choosing their cake, especially when they were young. Although Abbie is studying my cookbooks presently for her upcoming birthday. Our children love to buy presents for each other. I take them to the thrift shops and other inexpensive stores to shop for their siblings. My boys have their own incomes, so they really enjoy shopping for their siblings. I think we’ve always enjoyed our family parties. As I said before, I think the good things in life can be so simple and pleasurable.

50~ I just thank the LORD for all I have. I am so blessed. I have a husband who works hard to take care of us. I have four children who work with me to bless their dad. We have running water, even hot running water. So many servants: a washer, a dryer, a vacuum, a toaster, a blender, a microwave, a telephone, a computer, a stove, an oven, a refrigerator with a freezer in it, a car, and an indoor toilet. I am so thankful!