“Dating” is deteriorating so quickly, it seems like it changes week to week. Now we have very attractive women complaining that it is hard to:

get married,
have a long-term monogamous “relationship,”
find an ongoing “situationship,”
get taken to a restaurant.

This seems to be the natural outcome of online dating. Even the ugliest women swipe left (reject) 95% of the men on the first pass. Women fight over the remaining 5% and wonder why they can’t get commitment. Where are all the Good Guys? You Swiped Left on them on the first pass, baby.

Since these women very clearly could get a trip to a restaurant from someone, who is not too ugly, but actually in the Top 20% of men, but apparently need some training in how to do that, here we go:

1. Go on a dating app, preferably one that is not too whorish (Bumble instead of Tinder).

2. Out of the first 40 men that the app presents to you, you must Swipe Right (choose to connect) with 25% of them, or 10 men. Continue to Swipe Right on 25% of men until you get ten matches. Do not go beyond these first ten matches. If you are a 6/10 or less, then Swipe Right on 50% of men, until you get ten matches.

3. Contact these men via text, and immediately set up a date. Do not banter except to set up an in-person meeting. You should set up a meeting (a “date”) with all of the ten men you originally matched with. No video chats or other not-in-person options.

4. Go to whatever sort of date the man suggests. If he asks you what you want to do, tell him that you want to go to a nice dress-up restaurant, but that you are willing to pay for your own meal. Coffee dates, walks in the park, etc. are OK. This is because men don’t want to make a big date commitment for a woman they have not met before. There are a lot of Foodie Call girls, catfishers, filtered and photoshopped photos, old photos, age liars, marital status liars, and other stuff on dating apps. Or, a man might just find a girl repulsive in person. Anyway, if you want a relationship (instead of a free meal), it shouldn’t matter where you go. On your first date, be pleasant, fun, and agreeable, even if you decide that you do not want to see this particular man again. Make an effort. Do not just sit and wait to be entertained. This is not YouTube. Coffee dates or other daytime activities are actually good because that means a man is interested in getting to know you as a person. It is hard to hook up at 2pm in the afternoon. Low-key dates like coffee dates do not require much dressing up or makeup. About the typical “work day makeup” is fine. Men like to see what a woman really looks like. Go makeup-free if you have the guts. Evening drink dates are commonly Player types. You can still go on evening drink dates. But, stay at a public venue, like a cafe, bar, or a park. No at-home dates, such as “Netflix and chill.” Allow the man to kiss you at the end of the date (even if you don’t like him). However, nothing beyond a friendly kiss. No sex, especially with the evening-drink guys, even if you want to.

5. Go on a second date with at least seven of your original ten men. You can decline to meet again with up to three of the original ten men. Or, maybe they will decline to meet with you. Anyway, aim to go on a second date with seven of the original ten men. Do not get back on the dating app to find new dates. Work only with what you have already. You might not have liked them very much on your first date, but that might get better with a little more familiarity. Many men are not good at entertaining strangers on the first meeting, but make pretty good companions over time. If he is not good at entertaining strangers, then you can entertain him instead, so that you both have a good time. (You’re good at that, right?) This time, you can say that you want to go to a nice dress-up restaurant. Be pleasant, fun and interesting, even if you are not particularly attracted to a man. Pay for your meal, or allow the man to pay, if he wants to. Do not be resentful if you pay for your own meal. Allow the man to kiss you at the end of the date (even if you don’t like him). However, nothing beyond a friendly kiss. No sex.

6. Go on a third date with at least four of the seven men from your second date. Go to a nice restaurant, if you didn’t manage to do so earlier. Be pleasant, fun and interesting, even if you are not particularly attracted to a man. Pay for your meal, or allow the man to pay, if he wants to. Allow the man to kiss you at the end of the date (even if you don’t like him). However, nothing beyond a friendly kiss. No sex.

On this third date, ask the man: “Do you think you might be interested in getting married with me, perhaps within about six months?” Insist on a detailed, sincere, honest answer. No jokey, evasive answers. This might bring up a number of secondary topics, which you can discuss, such as: How many children do you want? Do you want to be a stay-at-home Mom? Are your parents divorced? Do you even have a father? Are you on prescription medications? Do this even if you do not want to marry this man.

7. Continue meeting with one or some of these remaining four men, or get ten new ones. This whole process (10+7+4=21 dates) should take 4-8 weeks. If you have sex with one of these men, then you have to immediately stop seeing other men. No more dating. You are in a monogamous “relationship.” If you are a virgin-until-marriage girl, then you obviously do not have sex with any of these men, and you can also continue dating. However, at some point, if you find the right sort of man, you should start to see him exclusively, with the aim of getting married within about six months of your first meeting; or, perhaps, not.

If men want to marry virgins, they are going to have to get used to marrying without sex first, or even kissing. This will require a sort of change of mindset.

This response is correct — such men should be disqualified. But, it is not too surprising that young men would feel this way, or fall into these habits. They naturally conform to “dating” expectations, without even conceiving of marrying without sex first. Also, not that long ago, in the 1950s and even continuing to today, it was pretty common for a woman to have sex before marriage with one man, who she later marries. But, this is not a good idea.

Thus, young men will have to get their minds around marrying a woman without kissing her first.

This is not really that hard, if you decide:

If you are going to get married “someday,” why not now? There might be good reasons not to get married now. But, even if you are not in a position financially to support a family, or feel that you are not, you and your young wife could just work for a while before having children. Of course, if you just want to whore around, then I suggest you find some non-virgin girl for that.

Decide within a 3-6 month period if this is the girl for you. If you are just looking for present-day fun, then “dating without sex” doesn’t make much sense. But, if you are looking for a wife, then waiting 3-6 months until a wedding is not a big deal. No interminable ongoing sexless “relationships.” Probably, within that amount of time, you will know everything that you can know beforehand, as to whether this woman would make a Good Wife and a Good Mother. You will work out expectations together: Stay at Home Mom? Homeschool? No vaccines? Christian? Children sooner, or later? Prenup agreement? Then, you will have to take your chances.

This is the way things were done for many centuries, so obviously it works. Men too will have to either Take A Stand with home and family, or be increasingly lost to aimless fornication or, more commonly, childless isolation. I think that men are not too uncomfortable with childless isolation, and that might be a solution for many. I’ve been talking about Taking A Stand with the Top 30% of women, and of course the Top 5%, which means: young beautiful virgins of good character. But, that leaves 70% of women unmarried (at least, not married by pickier men), implying also 70% of men unmarried (or, not married to the Top 30%). So, you don’t have to Take A Stand With Home and Family. Most will not. But, if you want to do that, this is how you should do it.

What’s going on here?

From a man’s point of view, this is just personal opinion. Some men like Bettys, and others like Veronicas.

From a woman’s point of view, it is confusion. A woman wants to know what is expected of her, in “her tribe.” For a long time, this “tribe” was society as a whole (“America”), or some fairly broad subset of society (“Los Angeles,” “upper middle class”). But, today there is too much difference in views. In time, we should, and probably will, form smaller, distinct “tribes,” where people basically share views on certain topics. Women can then become part of these tribes. They will have a coherent set of expectations to conform to.

For example, today there is the Sodom and Gomorrah tribe, where women are expected to be childless, self-supporting, on-demand sex kittens in constant rotation, slowly depreciating like used cars even into their sixties. Basically, this is the pattern of gay men. Then, there is the nascent Home and Family tribe, where young women are expected to remains virgins until marriage, and then, have a lot of children. There used to be a centrist Dating/Relationship tribe, but that is eroding with a sense of pointlessness. Today, these are mixed up in a confusing mess. A woman doesn’t know what to do. The Sodom and Gomorrah Tribe at least has active and functioning systems (Tinder, for example, and related forms of online whoring including TikTok and Instagram). They are ultimately self-destructive, but at least it is something that a woman can participate in, right now, today.

The Home and Family Tribe is still unformed. It does not have active and functioning systems, yet. Mostly, it is an ill-formed cloud of vague notions. Women who try to abide by these notions do not necessarily end up with Home and Family. Men are not necessarily offering those, in real life, but only as a sort of principle. Even Christian circles are badly polluted by feminist nonsense. Should a woman marry young, or wait until her late 20s? Should she pursue a career, or be a stay-at-home Mom? Should she go to college? Someone is going to have to make some decisions about this; and Tribes will form around this consensus. Probably, it will take parental guidance to get it going, with both young men and women nudged into forming families. They do not seem to do that naturally.

A man can form a “tribe of one.” He can, and today I think should, state all the expectations of his “tribe,” which is basically himself, for now. The woman that he meets will not necessarily already be conforming to these guidelines. But, she should be friendly to the idea, and willing to participate, much like a new employee at a corporation. I would state that I prioritize a woman that stays at home with the children, and homeschools. I would state how many children I would like (three or more), and in what timeframe (soon). I would state our political stance (some flavor of conservative), and related views (no rainbow shit, no vaccines). I would state some expectations (always look good, especially after you have children; keep a beautiful house; become a good cook). I would probably give a woman some books, like Fascinating Womanhood or Created to Be His Helpmeet, and see what her reaction is. This is not something that you do on the first date, of course. But, if you are at all serious about marriage, then I would do this.

One Tribe that appears around this time of year, is the Hunting Tribe. I think it is charming when families start walking around town in matching RealTree outfits.

Pack up the car, honey! We’re going to Cabela’s!

“Julianna,” who we saw back when she was a 19yo dream babe and “never been kissed,” is now 27 and still a virgin. Good for her, but something is definitely wrong when someone who is, let’s say, in the top 2% of wifey girls is not married. You would think that, with most men still marrying eventually, and a distinct shortage of decent girls to marry, the wifey girls would be in high demand. But, no.

It sounds like she met a compatible sort of man, but they couldn’t get it going. Mostly, the guy’s fault, by the sounds of it. Today, it would not be hard for me to make an up/down decision in the space of a few months. Having been married for over 20 years, it is not hard for me to decide to be married … or not. But, I think a lot of young men are waiting for some kind of “sign,” which mostly doesn’t arrive because that “sign” is mostly an attachment that comes from having sex before marriage.

Go to YT and read the comments too.

Part of the problem, it seems, is “dating.” Mostly, as she says, this doesn’t work out, because, as Tom Leykis said, “dating is fucking,” or, as the polite Christians say, “fornicating.” (Same thing.) A woman should, I think, announce clearly that this is “courtship,” which will clear out 95% of the riffraff, and also, perhaps, attract a few men who are actually interested in a wife and family, who would not otherwise rouse themselves. (In the process of Courtship, you can go on a date.)

Then, there is the talk of a “relationship,” which is also not in the Courtship model. A “relationship” is basically a sort of proto-marriage that arises from “dating.” It was something that appeared in the mid-twentieth century, as a hybrid between Courtship and open-ended fornicating. “Courtship” is mostly non-exclusive until there is a marriage proposal. In practice, there would be a more serious stage of courtship, where a couple would see a lot of each other, with a proposal expected quickly thereafter (a few months). But even this, I think, is not what you would call a “relationship.” I can see how a sexless “relationship” might dissipate into pointlessness if it was not heading, rather quickly, in the marriage direction.

There is a lot of talk about “waiting,” but people didn’t wait that long back in the day. They “waited” during about six months of Courtship, and got married at Age 19 (for women). So, stop waiting!

As I have said, we are going to have to take a stand somewhere, so let’s take a stand with the Top 30%. The other 70% — the Fuglies, whores, single moms and good-girls-gone-bad — we will leave aside.

For example, just from this ten minute video, we know:

1. She is at least an 8/10, maybe a little higher due to makeup and hair skills (and maybe filters…).
2. She is a virgin, which is nice in itself, but also shows a lot of self-discipline and strong values in general.
3. She has a soft, feminine voice. No girlboss posturing, or other strong feminist energy.
4. She appears interested in home and family. I do not have the impression that she wants to “have it all” or find some kind of compromise between career ambition and children. She would probably be very happy as a stay at home housewife.
5. Given all the above, her politics probably tend conservative. No rainbow/woke crap.
6. She is 27, which is not too old, although not too young either. As a virgin, she has not accumulated the damage that most girls do by Age 27.

This combination of virtues, I would argue, puts her in the Top 10% of all potential wives today. Maybe, if there is not a lot to put on the “cons” side — in the Top 2%, as I said earlier. Of course there may be a lot that we don’t know. Maybe some of that would come out in time. But, if we just say Top 10%, his leads to the next question which is: Is she good enough? Does she meet some minimum standard? (Absent unknown problems, yes.) Next: What are your chances of doing better? (For most men, not a whole lot.)

You see, it is not that hard to pick a woman. We can have a bit of get-to-know you time. And, of course, she has to be interested. Obviously, we can never know what marriage might have in store, ten or twenty years down the line. You do what you can do, and then you take your chances. If you are going to marry, then basically you just do it. Don’t drag things out. If there are no other red flags, then get it done in, let’s say, six months.

There should be some reward for being virtuous. The reward used to be: You would get your own house and husband at Age 18 or 20. Today, even as we watch millions and millions of young women get lost in the swamps of open-ended harlotry, there are also many who reach the age of 25 and have never been on a date. Many of them overtly want a home and family.

Read the comments for more details. There are probably a lot of 4/10s-6/10s here, but they aren’t all landwhales.

Soooo …

Are these “Femcels”?

Basically, I guess they are. Men argue that a real Femcel can’t possibly exist. But, there are a lot of men who consider themselves “incels” although they could pay a woman at any time. Or, maybe they do pay women but still consider themselves “incels.” So, maybe it is a little like that.

At some point, women become sluts. They lose the taste for monogamy. This seems to take place somewhere between 10 and 20 partners. According to this chart, it is somewhere after 15:

In the movie What’s Your Number?, the number is: 20.

Here is Goethe, in Faust Part I (“Night”) from 1808. The number here is, apparently, 12.

Valentine: My Gretchen, see! Young you are still
And shrewd enough by no means quite.
You manage your affairs but ill.
In confidence I tell you, what is more,
Since once for all now you’re a whore,
So be one then outright!

Gretchen: My brother! God! What words to me!

Valentine: In this game let our Lord God be!
Now what is done is done, alas!
And as things can, so will they come to pass.
With one you started secretly,
And more of them there soon will be.
When a dozen men have had you down,
You’re common then to all the town.
When Shame at first is given birth,
She is smuggled in upon this earth,
And then the veil of night is thrown
Around her ears and head;
Yes, one would gladly murder her instead.
But when both proud and great she’s grown,
By daylight then she goes forth openly,
And yet has not become more fair to see.
The loathsomer her face, straightaway
The more she seeks the light of day.

It usually takes some time with a woman before she can begin to reach her potential. The first time often doesn’t work out that well.

Even these orgasms are mostly clitoral orgasms. About 75% of women say that they do not normally orgasm from intercourse alone.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201007/how-boost-womans-chance-orgasm-during-intercourse

Hookup culture is mostly an orgasm desert for women.

Women’s natural birthright is to be a Sex Goddess, which means: A woman who regularly has multiple orgasms from intercourse. “Multiple” begins at 2, but it can extend to 20+, over a period of two hours or more.

Men’s job is to shepherd women toward this destiny.

It seems like not very men or women are achieving this.

Traditionally, you avoided the damage of young women by getting them young. But, girls are falling to pieces from pretty much the first step beyond Age 13.

It will be harder than ever to find any girl that is decent wife material. Parents are crazy to allow their children to succumb to this madness without opposition. It’s not really that hard: a) homeschool; b) no TV, tik tok, etc. Read old books.

1/

I've been a teenage girl and I'm in process of raising two of them. Nothing about the horrific rise of gender confusion in girls surprises me.
Puberty is an emotional tsunami for girls. Today they face a gross and degraded dating culture in which

— Grazie Pozo Christie, M.D. (@GChristiemd) November 13, 2022

Grazie Pozo Christie, M.D.

1/

I’ve been a teenage girl and I’m in process of raising two of them. Nothing about the horrific rise of gender confusion in girls surprises me.
Puberty is an emotional tsunami for girls. Today they face a gross and degraded dating culture in which 

2/their only measure of objective value is their micro bikini-fitness and willingness to make themselves sexually available to unscrupulous males.
From precious little princess to door mat in 2 seconds, plus the indignities, suffering, and strangeness of a woman’s biology. 

3/Their emotional pain is tremendous, even in the best of circumstances.
And how many have “best” circumstances? 
Half perhaps or more have absent fathers, and no real conception of what an honorable, faithful and protective man looks like in action. 

4/They see the future before them and it is barren.

They are told to be like the worst of men, sexually aggressive, single-mindedly devoted to getting ahead in their careers, careless of the home and the sweet concerns that fill the hearts of beloved wives and mothers. 

5/That they don’t need a man to protect and cherish them and their children. That’s so PATRIARCHY.
They are told that the babies they will inevitably, accidentally conceive can be brushed aside with a couple of pills and some EXTRA painful cramps.
And that it will be LIBERATING. 

6/That they will grow old and have cats, but that they will really really like that. That having 15 grandchildren to take you to church on Sunday by turns is a stupid old dream that has been supplanted by a better future. You ponder abt the cats but think maybe you can have dogs 

7/Would you want to grow up to be a WOMAN? If these were your future prospects?
At least men have power in the dating game, they don’t have to post pics of their butt on instagram and be derided for their cellulite. 

8/And you are on TikTok and instagram and snapchat all day, trying to feel better about yourself.
And they say, they ALL say, that you can flip a switch and be a man instead of a woman. No more periods, overstuffed bikinis, emotional blackness like a bottomless pit. 

9/So you go for the trans, and you are CELEBRATED. You are the bomb! You have everyone’s attention, even your overworked mom’s and your mostly absent father’s, who are now fighting like rabid dogs over you. While before they mostly made you feel invisible. 

10/Being trans, you now have a GROUP, and a banner and a reason for being. You have frequent “medical” visits and ways to measure your “progress” like the deepening of your voice, and your new cool male-pattern baldness. 

11/You get a mastectomy and now have the horizontal scars, yes, but they tell you those are beautiful, and your post them on snapchat and get lots of applause and thumbs up. You are BEAUTIFUL! ..finally 

12/And you dream of the phalloplasty that will give you a scarred forearm, yes, but you can wear long sleeves. And that will give you real sexual pleasure that you can’t imagine because you’ve never had any but they say it’s real good. 

13/And they children you will never bear? That’s NO PROBLEM. Because you can get children all sorts of wonderful, inventive and modern ways, that probably by the time you want them will be funded by the government, like surrogacy and prob. artificial wombs. 

14/that you will have love, and companionship, and deep friendships and a family.

Then you learn slowly and painfully that it’s all a lie. That you are just caught up in a weird fad powered by the money interests of a HUGE trans industrial complex. 

15/That what was natural and beautiful and tender and soft about you was your budding womanhood and that your future as a mother and wife has been erased, replaced by meds and surgeries, incontinence and emotional lability that gets worse not better. 

16/Your desire for suicide intensifies, as you swoop up and down on the tides of giant testosterone injections or patches, a hormone that was never meant for you in those quantities, but for young strong men with battles to fight and homes to build with brawny arms. 

17/The winners? Follow the money. The scads of money.

This was an interesting representation of one woman’s experience with Online Dating. Probably, she is somewhat average — not exceptional.

There are some interesting elements here.

First, she swiped right on only 582 out of 15094 men, over a period of six months. That’s 4%. And, Tinder itself probably screened out a lot of the less-appropriate men. Of course, all the other women are also choosing the same 4% of men, or maybe 10% if we allow for a little difference of age and opinion. Then came the reverse-screening. Out of 582 men, 411 (71%) did not either match or begin chatting with her. Apparently, these 4% of men can be choosy. Out of this came 171 chats and 54 dates (0.4%). Is that what women mean by “high standards”? That’s about one new chat partner a day, and a date every three days. Out of this, she got 37 rounds of “casual sex” (every five days) and zero relationships. Does this mean that she never saw even one of these 37 men a second time? Or, maybe she did. It doesn’t sound very healthy either way. Were there any dates, that didn’t lead to sex on the first date, but led to a second date? Were there any second dates at all? Was she hooking up again with her prior hookups, on top of all these new hookups? This does not include all the other things this woman was doing during those six months, including: Work/school connections, bars and clubs, parties, business trips, foreign travel, daytime approaches, other dating apps, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, etc. That is a full schedule of whoring.

But, at the same time, we see a lot of selectivity. If she was just interested in casual sex, would only 4% of men do? And only 0.4% that led to actual in-person meetings? Is this what women mean by “I know my worth”? You would think it wouldn’t matter that much. Wouldn’t it at least save a little time and effort if you had a regular FWB rather than starting from scratch again? At least, you could practice together a little bit, and get better at sex, which is often rather bad on the first encounter. Did she hope for a FWB (har!), but was not able to accomplish that? Did she hope for a “relationship”? If she did, that would be pretty crazy, since she should have figured out before #37 that her strategy wasn’t working. Probably, like a lot of women, she would claim that she was “seeking a relationship” this whole time, and actually sort of believed that, although her behavior shows no real attempt to accomplish that.

Obviously, you can’t marry, or even have a “relationship” with, some burned out slag heap like this. And, a lot of women probably have a similar background these days.

Women: What strategy do you have, exactly, to avoid a similar outcome? Or, maybe this is OK with you? Good luck with that.

About 40% of young single women are Fugly. Skip them. But, about the same percentage of men are Fugly too, so it seems like there is a nice match there.

But, I have been thinking recently that, no matter how Fugly a man is, he naturally has a desire for pretty slim women, and, naturally, has limited interest in ugly women. Maybe, interest limited enough that he just doesn’t do whatever is necessary to pair up with one. And if he is (rightfully) uninspired by Fugly women, and rejected by pretty ones, where does that leave him?

And isn’t the same true for women? Do we expect even the ugliest women to be infatuated with ugly men? That would be expecting the impossible.

In the recent past, people became Fugly after they were married, sometime after 40. Regrettable, but it didn’t matter too much.

Fugliness is almost entirely due to preventable factors, especially obesity, but also dress and presentation. Mostly, it is curable.

Even the most tragic Butterface girls are hot enough for some guy somewhere — if they have a healthy slim body.

Even perfect beauty is easily disfigured by obesity.

Don’t Be Fugly is a good principle always, but also, later in life. Age catches up with everyone, but you can be Not Fugly nearly up to Age 70.

Mostly, it is a matter of good diet. Avoid all processed foods. “Single ingredient foods” only. Cook at home.

Also, exercise regularly. But, diet is more important than exercise.

Lastly, try a little bit. Clothing manufacturers have all kinds of attractive clothing available. You just have to wear what they provide for the purpose. But, many people, men and women both, often can’t seem to do this. Land’s End is a purveyor of extremely boring, Middle-America clothing that is nevertheless well made and reasonably attractive. You should aspire to a Land’s End level of fashion, at the very least.

Seriously, most young women do not accomplish even this.

No noserings, blue hair or neck tattoos + a shirt with buttons = You win!

No shorts, t-shirts or sandals = You win!