This is for: Young wives (age 18-25), and girls who plan to become young wives.

Let’s say that a couple gets married. What then does a wife do?

Before she becomes pregnant, a wife can certainly work, and may continue working at the job she had before. But, let’s say that a wife becomes a stay-at-home wife, perhaps because she becomes pregnant, or even — as is common in Japan — because, when a woman is married, she becomes the responsibility of her husband, and, if childless, becomes a woman of leisure. Only the wives of poor men are forced to work at a job. Wives that do not have to work at a job are a key badge of middle-class status.

Today, I will talk mostly of physical duties. We will talk more about the psychological or relationship aspects later. I will also describe a wife who does not work at a job, and who also does not have children, although children may appear soon. In the end, it is much the same even for wives who work full time, with some adjustment and sharing of duties with the husband.

A wife who stays at home assumes complete responsibility for household tasks. Since she does not work at a full-time job, there is no need for sharing duties with the husband, but rather, a division of labor. A wife is responsible for keeping the house clean, and in this she has complete responsibility, and must do everything necessary to get it done, so that the husband need do nothing at all. He has other responsibilities, and would like to delegate this task to his wife without having to think about it much, or waste time and effort on related issues. Since this is at odds with what young women sometimes hear, let me make it plainer: You do everything, and he does nothing. You should take satisfaction in doing it all yourself, without having to rely on his help. This is not very hard to do.

Let’s begin with basic household cleaning. Cleaning is necessary. This includes floors, counters, kitchen, bathroom. This should be done regularly and diligently, often enough that things never become what one would call “dirty.” This is very easy, but a young wife may not be in the habit of it. If you haven’t been trained by your mother, or your mother didn’t do it right: clean more often than you think. Surfaces like the bathroom, kitchen sink, counters, and kitchen floors should be wiped down at least once a day. This is very quick, but do it daily. Vacuuming should be at least once a week. (I prefer no shoes in the house, which keeps floors cleaner.) From time to time, you will have to wipe down things like windows, windowsills or the tops of furniture, where dust may collect. Just go over it with a damp cloth. In total, this need not take more than about 30 minutes a day, maybe more when you vacuum. Use rubber gloves.

For some women, it seems that they like to expand housework to consume the available time. What should be a 20 minute job takes two hours. Then they complain about all they have to do. Don’t do this. Just get it done and move on.

Do the laundry at least once a week. Wash your husband’s clothes too, and put them away for him. Iron if necessary.

One of the main causes of a “dirty” home these days is not dirt, but clutter. The most basic clutter is: stuff that should go into the trash. This is mostly bits of paper, mail, catalogs, magazines, packaging and containers. Then there is a long list of items that are useful, and do not belong in the trash, but which tend to accumulate in corners and on flat surfaces.

These days, stuff just seems to multiply on its own. It is easy to buy things, and hard to get rid of things. Some good books have been written about this. I like The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo (her real name is Mari), and Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui, by Karen Kingston. Yes, you — our 19-year old wife — should read these books and abide by them. After you have reduced the number of things (sometimes radically), then make sure that everything that you own has a proper place. Clutter accumulates because there is no good place to put it — no established home. This may involve purchasing some furniture such as bookshelves, filing cabinets, or drawers, or “organizing” materials such as closet organizers. But, always reduce first and organize later.

Get familiar with Goodwill or Salvation Army, or maybe a church service where you can donate old things. Sell unneeded things on Craigslist. Repair what needs to be repaired — don’t just leave it for another day. Do basic sewing repairs. For some things, which are too difficult to repair but too valuable to throw out, it is often best to sell it or give it away to someone with the time/skills to repair it. Again, try Craigslist.

Having done all that, make sure that everything is put back into its proper place, at least by the end of the day.

Part of maintenance is replacement of worn-out items. These are things like sheets or towels, shower curtains, or sometimes kitchen appliances. At times, you might want to upgrade, even if the old item is not yet worn out. Keep refills/replacements of things like soap, toilet paper, and even some things for your husband, such as razor blades, deodorant and shaving cream.

Cleaning, decluttering and keeping tidy (putting things away in their proper places) are mundane topics, but they actually have their own challenges — if you consider how many able people fail at them. A young wife should master these things, so that they become familiar habits. A period before children are present is a good time to build these basic skills, so that you can move on to childcare skills later. Laugh if you like, but does your house look as good as Marie Kondo’s? I didn’t think so.

So far, we have just talked about maintenance. We haven’t changed anything, we are just keeping the home clean and functional. Next, we will talk about changing things: home decoration.

I used to have a joke: “My wife and I have a division of labor: I do the labor, and she takes care of the leisure.” But, actually, this did not bother me. It is normal that men should be busy. It is also normal that a wife should not be busy all day, if she doesn’t have to.

It is important to have some slack — some surplus of time and energy available. You don’t want to be at 100% all the time. You want to be at 70%, so that you can go to 100% briefly, if something comes up. Often, a career consumes a lot of time and energy, especially when commuting is involved. At one point, I used to leave the house at 7am and get back at 8pm, every day. Thus, a stay-at-home housewife can specialize in leisure. She provides the slack. She takes care of all the stuff with the household and children, so that a man can return to a beautiful home where things are already in order, and he doesn’t have to add a new list of household things to do to his list of things to do at work. If something comes up, he can delegate it to his wife. She is in a good mood because she doesn’t have to rush from one thing to another just to get through the day.

When both a man and a woman are busy all the time — which is inevitable if the woman has a career on top of childcare duties — the results are inevitably bad. Here is a description from Lady, by Roosh V:

I learned from my mother that it’s too much for a woman to work full-time and take care of the home. Even if you’re able to pull it off, as my mom did, it puts a huge strain on family relationships and makes your life overly stressful. Since raising a family is a full-time job of its own, it’s simply not fair to expect a woman to also work outside the home.

To accommodate women having their own careers, the culture tells husbands to pick up the slack and become something like a Mr. Mom by helping out with the chores. This only makes the problem worse, because it takes your man away from the role you want to see him in—a strong leader—and turns him more into a woman. I have read a dubious study that men who do more household chores get less sex from their wives. Whether or not this is true, it’s easy to see why a woman would not want to sleep with a man who acts like an equal partner or a gay best friend instead of a masculine leader.

The ideal scenario is for the husband to work hard to provide for his family during the day and relax with his wife and children in the evening. While he’s at work, the wife takes care of the home, runs errands, and prepares dinner. This is far more superior to the schizophrenic model we have now where both parents work and the children are dumped in daycare or come home from school to an empty house, only to spend time with a stressed-out mom and dad who are staring at their smartphones.

I deem it impossible for a woman to have a career and a family at the same time. It will create too much stress …

Men never wanted mothers to work full-time jobs outside the home. Women were sold that story by some Communist freaks who wanted to destroy the family, and make men and women into interchangeable isolated workerbees while their children were raised by the government. You would think that staying home with your kids and Specializing in Leisure would be a pretty good deal for women. I suggest they take it.

After you have been married a while — let’s say it is ten years — women may not be much in the mood for sex anymore. They don’t feel like it, so they say: “I don’t feel like it,” and then nothing happens.

I say to women: It seems to be natural for women to be like this after some years of domesticity. But, it seems that these same women later get in the mood, some time after they have their clothes off, and end up having a great time. A few days later, they forget that sex was actually a lot of fun, and they are not in the mood again.

So, married women should Just Say Yes. Because, are you ever “in the mood” beforehand? (No.) But, don’t you eventually have a good time anyway? (Yes.)

Let’s say there’s a woman who follows the Feminist Life Script that everyone is telling her to follow. She goes to high school, does high school stuff, goes to college, does college stuff, graduates, gets a job, does single woman stuff, postpones marriage until 28, then goes looking for a husband. She has a lot of difficulty finding one, and also, people are calling her a slut, because 28 is, after all, twelve years after 16, and she didn’t spend all those Saturday nights doing needlepoint alone at home. “All I really wanted was to be married and have children,” she sobs, on her way to get her eggs frozen, or pick a father out of a sperm bank catalog.

She looks back on this long road of dysfunction and damage and broken dreams, and concludes: It’s men’s fault.

Men say: Whaaat? Did I tell you to do that? Didn’t you make that choice yourself? Didn’t you think for a moment what the likely consequences would be? When I (in various guises) approached you at age 17, and age 20, and age 22, and age 25, each time interested in a committed romantic relationship that could lead to marriage, did you not blow me off each time and run off to some Bad Boy who would never marry you in a million years, and in fact would not even consent to be your boyfriend for six months, and in fact who you yourself would not marry even if he asked you to, he being unfit for that role in your own good judgement? Did you not tell me, both in words and actions, that you definitely did not want to get married at that time, or have children, instead savoring your “freedom” to ride the cock carousel?

This makes sense, from a man’s point of view. From the way a man looks at the world, as an independent agent with freedom and responsibility and consequences.

But, let’s look at it from a woman’s point of view (or perhaps, a man’s point of view, of women, which are not like men).

The woman did what she was told. She attached herself to the leadership of those she trusted: her father, her mother, her social circle, her teachers in school, the government, the example shown in mainstream media. She was never an independent agent with freedom and responsibility and consequences. She never wanted to be. Perhaps, as a woman, she could not be. In return for her acquiescence in doing what she was told to do, she trusted that those in the leadership position had her best interests at heart. That the result of this would be a good result, not a bad one. Obviously, what she was told to do didn’t work. It was dysfunctional. It was a scam. It was a lie. She was betrayed. It was not her fault, because she did what she was told to do, by people she trusted. It was their fault.

And, she is right. This Feminist Life Script story that she was given is dysfunctional, a scam (Cultural Marxism), and a lie. It wasn’t her fault.

Matriarchy does not exist.

Since there are only Men and Women here, and women generally think like this, the only people left whose fault it could be are Men. She blames Men in general — and she is right! Because, it is the responsibility of Men to establish the patterns and rules — the Frame — that Women can then follow. Men have to tell Women what to do. And, it has to be something that works. Men today say that the family courts, and other legal issues such as fake domestic violence claims, and so forth, are woefully broken and destructive. That is true, but that is Men’s fault. Men should fix it, and they do not. Instead, they complain a lot — to women! Women wouldn’t know how to fix it. Haven’t you noticed that women can’t fix anything? If they can’t even change some spark plugs, how are they going to fix something complicated, like a family law system?

There is another variant of the same principle, where a woman is not exactly told what to do, but is told that doing something is OK. She is given permission.

There’s an eleven-year-old girl who wants a pony. She asks her daddy: “Can I have a pony?”

Her Daddy says Yes, and she gets a pony.

Three months later, the family is turned out on the street, because they failed to pay their rent, because of the expenses of buying and keeping the pony. This is a failure of the father to properly manage the family’s affairs. It is a failure of patriarchy. Rather than telling the girl what to do, he allowed the girl to tell him what to do. The girl had faith in the fact that the father, in his role as patriarch, would take care of things and make sure it was OK for her to have what she wanted. Because, if it was not OK, he definitely should have told her that it was not OK. How was the girl supposed to know that the result would be homelessness? She had never thought about it. She was not actually capable of thinking about it. She wanted a pony, like any girl would, and she was told that it was OK.

It was the father’s fault.

It’s OK if a girl wants a pony. It’s OK if the girl, now grown up, wants a 4000 square foot McMansion with a big yard in a neighborhood with good schools, or wants to spend two weeks in Tuscany, or drive a Mercedes S500 to impress her friends. Who wouldn’t want that? But, it is not OK for the husband to let her have those things, if it would disrupt her husband’s overall plan of things, for their shared wellbeing.

A woman is given permission to buy things on a credit card, to take out student loans, or other such things, by entities that she trusts. Women are easy to con.

A woman is told that it is OK to ride the cock carousel for ten years with a string of sexy bad boys. It doesn’t work out well. But, nobody told her not to do it.

All this, she concludes, is Men’s fault. She should have been told that it is not OK to do those things. Did anyone ever tell her that?

Dalrock talked about the “feminist merit badge.” This is the idea — it is everywhere today, but nobody talks about it — that a woman must go to a good college, get a good job, and then build a career, then find a husband around age 28-30, and then quit her job and career, have children and become a housewife. What is the point of all this labor? Why not just become a housewife from the start? And yet, even those women who are quite enthusiastic about quitting their job and becoming a full-time mother (good for you!) nevertheless feel that they have to go through the whole career-building process anyway. This is the “feminist merit badge.” It is particularly prevalent among the upper middle classes, who generally make enough money to live comfortably on one income, and who have “careers” instead of simply “jobs,” like most women.

Girls, young women, and parents, should stare this “feminist merit badge” in the face and decide if it is really worth all that effort. Not really, is it? A woman who wants to build a career later in life, when her children have left the home, can then go and get whatever training she needs at that time. A woman who wants to develop her mind can do a much better job of it studying at her father’s house, rather than any university, and it doesn’t cost anything.

Plus, there are many women who would make very fine wives and mothers, but who are not very well suited to the competitive realm of academics and the corporate ladder. Must they suffer because they are forced into a role that they have no aptitude for? We can also have at least a moment of pity for those women who are actually very well suited for academics and career; and then have too much to lose by giving all this up, or, in many cases, fail to find a husband at all, and thus never become wives and full-time mothers, even if they want to.

There is, unfortunately, more to this “feminist merit badge” than merely wasting time. What is a woman to do during all this labor? She is unmarried and childless for a good ten years, 18-28. To a greater or lesser degree, she will end up “dating,” or, as it is known to men, “riding the cock carousel,” thus damaging and perhaps destroying her ability to form a stable marriage and family. Some women, who understand this and try to avoid it, will actually become celibates for this decade of maximum fertility and sexual urge, which is hardly a tolerable solution. Get married young, and have children.

Today, women are repeatedly told not to marry when they are young; let’s say, before age 25. This used to be the outside edge of when women would marry, 16-25, with the ideal around 18-20.

It is probably not best to start with those women who are well down the road to harlotry, or who have already arrived. Today, the women who are most likely to form a stable and productive family often meet their future husbands before age 25, and often, around age 20. The only difference between now and then is that, in the pre-1920 period, they would soon get married. Today, they become boyfriend and girlfriend; often, cohabitating in a stable, fruitful monogamous relationship. Typically, they then get married later, sometime after age 25, formalizing long years of an almost-marriage.

Today, only a minority of women, I would say, are fit to be good wives. Mostly, these girls are taken off the market, in this fashion, around age 20-22 — either getting married (it still happens), or almost-married. Since they are among the minority of women capable of forming stable, loving, beneficent, monogamous relationships, this is what they do — typically, with a like-minded man. Most men never meet them, which is why they have attained a mythical status, known as “unicorns.” I think they are much more common than unicorns (let’s generously put their number around 30%, but that might be my generation rather than today’s), but they seem uncommon because they won’t be found on Tinder, Bumble, or in a bar or club. They are at home, where, after cooking a nice meal, they are having hot sex with their long-term boyfriends, who they will eventually marry.

I say to these women, and their “boyfriends”: just get married, perhaps around age 21. Why not?

There are actually some good reasons why not, but I would also suggest that there are some advantages to marrying instead of cohabitating.

I have advocated getting married young, and then, having children while young, soon after marriage. But — we will discuss this later — you could also get married, and not have children right away. That is not a bad way to go.

This recent series of blog posts by “Sharkly” describes typical features of dysfunctional wives today. As bad as this is, it is probably even worse for many men who marry women that are not regular churchgoers, and very often, have a sordid history of harlotry as well.

I personally do not suffer from any of these problems. It helps that my wife is Japanese — not a guarantee of all sweetness and light, but from a country where women have not yet been driven completely insane.

I think this series of posts is helpful, first, for men, who can either relate to experiences much like their own, or, especially for younger men, to get some idea of common situations today that they do not yet have experience with; which explains one of the purposes of this website.

But, I think it is especially helpful for women. Here is a man of unusual virtue. Besides being good-looking and having a reasonably high socioeconomic standing, he has made many efforts at repairing the damage to his family within the context of Christian teachings. Since he himself obviously gets little benefit from this marriage, his interests are largely altruistic: the welfare of the children, and also, the betterment of his wife, who is otherwise stone crazy.

A woman reading this here should appreciate what bad behavior among women is today, and how this is encouraged by the Church, a woman’s social circle, and broader society. It thus serves as a kind of litmus test: a woman who condones this kind of behavior, making rationalizations and justifications — in general avoiding any suggestion that this or any other woman should be asked to change her behavior in any way — is, I would say, unfit for marriage, and should be avoided. She would also be unfit for a monogamous “girlfriend” relationship, which reduces her to lower tiers of the “relationship” hierarchy, which I would call: “friends with benefits” (nevertheless still a friend), “fuck buddy”, and “pump and dump.” Unfortunately, many of her apparent issues with intimacy may have arisen from a prior history of “dating”; basically, times when she aspired to at least a “girlfriend” status, but was discarded by other men without reaching that level. This is one reason why I recommend avoiding “dating” and sticking with “courtship” today. “Dating” ends up causing damage; and the damage can be severe.

Thus, a woman today should — I hope, without the need for external encouragement — be critical of this kind of behavior. In other words, a woman should look upon it much the same way that a man would look upon it.

Here’s a woman who lives like it is 1958.

This video is interesting for a number of reasons. The 1950s were the last time that there was anything resembling traditional morality in the U.S. (although by 1900 standards, “dating” in the 1950s was dangerously degenerate).

If we set aside the period-correct details, what do see here? This woman is maybe a 5/10 at best, but she looks great — clothing, hair, makeup, manner. Probably real women in the 1950s did not make such an effort everyday … but maybe they should have. Beyond that, she also seems very happy to be a stay-at-home Mom. Her house looks great. She likes to cook. She takes good care of her son and husband. And she seems very happy, don’t you think?

Women today could learn a lot even from this short video.

Girls:

Remember our goals thus far:

Get married young (age 16-25, ideally 18-20), so that you can have a full set of children before age 32. Find a good husband. Live at home with your parents until you are married. Don’t go to college (except possibly a nearby one that will allow you to live at home; but today even that is not a very good idea). Maintain chastity until marriage. No “dating.” No boyfriends.

Quite a lot is riding on finding a good husband, which means that you must get the attention of an attractive, high-value man, and also, he needs to be willing to marry you; and not only that, to marry without being a boyfriend/having sex first.

This is not so easy, although it is also not so hard as many girls make it. First, you should be slim and attractive. This is mostly a matter of diet and exercise. Eat good food and exercise regularly. It really doesn’t matter what sort of body type you have, as long as you are slim and healthy. Just being slim and healthy, and making some effort at beautification (at least, avoiding intentional uglification) will put you in the top 30% for your age group; and if you are in the 16-25 age range, you will be in the top 10% of women who are actively looking for husbands, who are mostly over age 28.

Remember, maintaining a healthy diet and exercise, and being slim and healthy (and sexy) will continue for the rest of your life. It is not just an act you put on to bag a husband, and then later you go back to Doritos and ice cream. It is something that you will teach your children. So, learn it now, and you will have something to teach them.

This “beautification” can take a number of forms. I suggest wearing dresses of knee-length or longer. It is getting rare for girls to wear dresses at all, except for special occasions, but that also means that you would stand out if you did. For example:

Makeup should be naturalistic. Hair should be long and natural. No tattoos. No piercings except for earrings. No fake boobs, lip injections, botox, etc.

Examples of “slutty” clothing are everywhere today, but it is important to understand that the norms today are “slutty.” The message a man gets is: short-term fun but definitely NOT wife material. This is a high-end kind of slutty, but it is still slutty:

These are great-looking girls, but definitely NOT wife material — and guys can tell from one photograph.

I would even tend to avoid common swimwear. There seems to be a trend toward more modest swimwear these days. This stuff isn’t even uncommon now.

But, there is more to being top-class wife material than merely wearing some clothes. If you are going to jump right into childbearing and child-raising, skipping any career stuff, then it would help if you are enthusiastic about children and child-raising. Most women have a natural tendency this way anyway, but you can encourage it rather than suppress it. Keeping house — not just cleaning, but also decorating, which can include things like gardening — will be a major activity, so you should be enthusiastic about that. You can begin with your own bedroom, keeping it clean and decorating — decorating in an adult fashion, not teenybopper stuff. If you are a slob as a single woman without much responsibility, we can’t expect very much from you once you have all the demands of childcare as well.

We will add more to our list soon.

As I described in our previous post, young women should have children during their peak childbearing years, 18-32 — that is, they should have their last children no later than around age 32, not their first. To do this, they should get married at age 16-25, with an ideal around 18-20.

How is our young woman to get married?

Obviously, you have to find a man who is both willing to marry you, and attractive in some way — basically, you want to marry him. This is commonly a combination of looks, character, and wealth/income/status.

This probably doesn’t sound very complicated, but note that these requirements eliminate a large number of men from the outset. For example:

Men that will have sex with you, but don’t want to marry you.
Men that are good looking, but do not have the means to support a family.
Men that can support a family, but are unattractive to you.
Men who are of a lower socioeconomic class than you aspire to.

And so forth. Do not spend any time at all on these men. Avoid them. Typically, a man that is both willing to marry and able to support a family will be 3-15 years older, age 21-35. While it is OK for a woman to have some ambitions in these matters, at the same time, a woman must not price herself out of the market, and end up with nothing at all. Today, it is common for a woman to state that she wants a man that is over six feet tall. We all have preferences, but men find it bizarre that this be put forth as a requirement. Only about 15% of men are over six feet tall, and not all these men are attractive or have a high socioeconomic status. Tom Cruise, the actor, is 5’8″. If we then “require” that our six-foot-plus man be in the top 30% in terms of physical attractiveness, and be in the top 20% in terms of income (for their age group — the highest-earning men are typically in their fifties), we are left with 15%*30%*20%=0.9% of men. These men can be choosy; and, since they can only marry 0.9% of the women, these women they marry will themselves generally be in the top 1% of women. (But, no matter how many generations go by, it seems that this level of rational calculation is beyond women’s abilities.)

Also, since we are not having sex before marriage, we also need men that will marry you without having sex with you first. This might seem impossible today, but I don’t think it is so difficult. If a man is looking for a wife, it is not so important if you do not have sex before marriage, because you will get married soon and then you can have all the sex you want; or, perhaps you will go your separate ways. It is only important if a man has no immediate interest in marrying you.

This process of deciding whether to marry is known as “courtship.” It is not the same as “dating.” The “courtship” process takes place when a woman who wants to get married (you) meets with men who want to get married, to decide if they want to marry each other. If you have a woman that doesn’t particularly want to get married immediately, or a man that doesn’t particularly want to get married immediately (either or both), but you just want to spend some pleasant time together, then you are “dating,” which obviously is not going to lead to marriage because nobody wants that to happen.

“Dating” is a waste of time for a woman who wants to get married, because obviously it does not lead to marriage.

The “courtship” process does not take very long, because it is usually not too hard to determine one way or the other in not very much time. I would say about three months is enough. It could be three days. “Courtship” results in an “engagement,” and it does not take too long for engagements to lead to marriage.

However, during this “courtship” process, you can certainly go have a nice dinner with one of your suitors if you like. In other words, you can go on a date. But, no sex. No kissing, even. We should also not rule out “socializing,” men and women spending time together in a friendly noncommittal way, in a group or in a pair. This is often a necessary early step toward a more serious process of “courtship.” Parties and dances are forms of “socializing,” and there are more informal forms as well.

This might seem complicated, but it basically means “no boyfriends.” The “courtship” process does not produce boyfriends. There is no “pairing” or exclusivity of this sort until marriage itself, or perhaps engagement. Thus, even if you may have a favored suitor, you can see other suitors until the point that you get engaged. If a suitor doesn’t like the fact that you are seeing other suitors, then let him know what he can do about it.

Since nearly everyone is “dating” these days, it is worthwhile to state your intentions upfront. Just say: “I am looking for a husband to marry soon, I am a virgin, and I will not have sex before marriage.” If you put a description like this on Match.com, you would eliminate 98% of all men, but the 2% that remained would probably be pretty interesting. I think most men would appreciate it. Smart men would recognize that these are advantages in a potential wife; smart men tend to make attractive husbands; and smart men know that, if they are going to marry (as nearly all men do), they should marry deliberately, rather than blundering into it.

You actually have a lot on your side. While all the other party bitches are wasting their youth on sluttery with no intentions to marry, you are out there snatching up the best men; or, at least, one of the best men. The other women only get serious when they are around age 30, and by then they have huge disadvantages — not only age, but a sordid sexual history and a decade of feminist brainwashing.

During the courtship process, it is good to state what sort of marriage you would like to have. Some of the big things are: how many children (roughly), when you want to have children (soon), whether you want to be a stay-at-home mother (yes), whether you would like to homeschool, your religious preferences (or perhaps it is not so important for you), and so forth.

Dalrock has a lot of advice regarding finding a spouse here.